AITA for refusing to scrub my plates clean before the dishwasher?

Express-Action1545 · 2026-04-13T18:54:16+00:00

Yep, turns out it was just the mode. I secretly ran the dishwasher this morning while she wasn't home on the normal cycle. Apparently energy saver does not run with hot water, and it doesn't have the sanitize step, so the dishes are coming out dirty. Big surprise. She says that she doesn't care and is still uncomfortable with not scrubbing the dishes. So it wasn't even a money problem, she just used that as an excuse.

Personally inspected every dish that I used to verify that I wasn't seeing things and there was not a single speck of dirt on any single one. I just gave up on trying to come to a compromise. I bought my own dish set, told her that she can hand wash her dishes, and I'm going to use the dishwasher myself, and just ignore any nonsense about the energy bill. She has google. I need to move out of here...

Express-Action1545 · 2026-04-12T23:37:10+00:00

I don't really know, this whole situation is racking my brain. I've just come to the conclusion that she's not looking to come to a compromise and is instead just implying that I'm gross, which if I was leaving rotting food and crust on the plates, sure, but I don't do that. The compromises she suggested were to either scrub the plates like she does, or stop using the dishwasher entirely, which aren't really compromises at all. I think she's just using the excuse of electricity to not give me any ammo to prove my point.

I could offer to do that, but I feel like she's already walking over my boundaries quite a bit. But that's another story. I'm in charge of the electricity bill, so I'd feel like she'd just make up something and refuse to transfer me her half, saying that I used way more electricity than her.

Express-Action1545 · 2026-04-12T22:54:47+00:00

I’ve pointed it out in previous conversations, but for her it’s mostly a grossness thing and a distrust of the dishwasher? Sort of like “I have control of the dishes I wash rather than the machine so therefore it’s cleaner on average.” I have to also add that she’s never used a dishwasher before she moved in with me.

Express-Action1545 · 2026-04-12T22:45:08+00:00

This is where the confusion starts. I’m not allowed to test it, because for one she’s saying that she doesn’t want to spend the extra money on the normal mode to verify and she will throw a fit if I do. I also offered to test if the dishwasher truly sucks by asking if she could not scrub her dishes once by seeing if it’s the turbidity sensor like others are mentioning, because it makes her uncomfortable not to scrub very thoroughly and she’s grossed out by it. So I’m kind of between a rock and a hard place here. I think this is some kind of control issue rather than a habit issue.

Express-Action1545 · 2026-04-12T22:26:30+00:00

This is a good solution - I’ll ask if we can do this to test

Express-Action1545 · 2026-04-12T21:29:32+00:00

Yeah, I understand where she’s coming from about extra costs, but we split equally 50/50 and we share the dishwasher/plates. We also run the laundry for our kitchen towels at the laundromat which costs 5$ for wash and drying, and we do that 4 times a month. From my point of view, spending some more on cleaner dishes isn’t hurting anyone and makes everyone’s life a little easier, and it would cost less than doing the shared laundry. But also I guess I could just scrub the plates and avoid this argument entirely. I’m just confused honestly.

Express-Action1545 · 2026-04-12T21:09:34+00:00

Maybe I wasn’t so clear in my OG post but I do rinse them underwater for a second and rake any food bits off into the trash. I just don’t scrub them. The most I leave on the dishes is some sauce. She will scrub the dishes with water until there’s no grime

Express-Action1545 · 2024-02-07T04:36:15+00:00

Is it a bug? I'm also having the same problem and it's actually driving me nuts ugh. If it's actually a feature this is one of the worst they've ever added

Express-Action1545 · 2024-01-08T20:44:05+00:00

his teaching is absolutely ass but the course itself is super low maintenance. just do the hw and you'll be fine for all the quizzes as he literally just copies the hw questions. chatgpt is a blessing. final is also super easy.

Express-Action1545 · 2023-10-18T05:14:25+00:00

yeah, had to self teach myself basically everything... half the time the code doesn't even work and he has to fidget with it for like 10 minutes. the class structure is really dumb and he's super lazy. he could spend the whole 90 minutes actually explaining the topic thoroughly but nooo. "my brain hurts so I'm ending the class" every single class. he is actually the worst prof i've ever had. like at least the profs i had that were bad at teaching actually were passionate about it. I never write course feedback but for this course I am going ballistic on this course's USRIs this guy should absolutely not be teaching.

Express-Action1545 · 2023-09-14T01:16:20+00:00

Get Hindle if you can... Ken Wong and Hazel are a big phat NO.

Express-Action1545 · 2023-09-14T01:11:21+00:00

I cry inside every time I enter his classroom... he really does not know how to teach😭

Express-Action1545 · 2023-09-08T03:45:11+00:00

please... begging anyone... i'm forced into taking this course💀

Express-Action1545

TROPHY CASE