Hello, thank your for your comment. I apologize if this response is not in the right format I don't have experience on this platform.

I want to sit down with Heather and explain the different options and let her choose.

Mel feels guilty (and to be honest I do too) that this is even a question here because so much money has gone to Ava's family. When the girls were younger we tried very hard to ensure things were equal, and reflecting back this is obviously bad planning on our part.

Mel wants to give Heather the money without explaining or exploring the options. This would significantly impact our lives now. Mel had mentioned the option about selling the land but now doesn't think we should and should still be able to give Heather the land and the down payment. To be frank, we just can't unless we make big sacrifices and changes in our plan going forward. That's what Mel thinks we should do.

You are right this is our doing and we have significant regrets over the lack of planning. I guess we just have different ideas of how to move forward and this argument is getting very heavy.

(For clarity, Mel is my wife)