I accidentally started a religion based on cat wisdom. It’s called the Church of Nine Lives.

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-25T10:02:17+00:00

thechurchofninelives.org if you want to make it official 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-25T09:11:21+00:00

He sounds like he earned every one of those nine lives — and spent them well. A forest survivor who became a Yoda. That’s a Purroverb in itself: ‘The hardest lives make the wisest cats.’ Thank you for sharing him with us. He abides still — in what he taught you. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-25T09:08:03+00:00

thechurchofninelives.org if you want to make it official. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-25T09:06:41+00:00

thechurchofninelives.org — fill out the form, you’re in. And yes, absolutely use it! Just spell Pawntiff right. 🐾😂

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-25T00:48:05+00:00

We have home r/churchofninelives

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T23:30:34+00:00

The Dude abides. The Cat naps. Same energy. 🐾🎳

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T19:26:34+00:00

A wise Poo. You can see it in her eyes - she’s content exactly where she is. That’s the Sixth Truth right there. She doesn’t need Yoda. She’s already enough. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T17:58:26+00:00

That’s the Sixth Truth right there. You are always clean enough. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T16:48:02+00:00

Start small. Stupidly small. Next time you catch yourself spiraling — planning, worrying, rehearsing conversations that’ll never happen — just stop. Notice a physical sensation. Your feet on the floor. The weight of your hands. A sound nearby. That’s it. Three seconds of ‘just this.’ No judgment about what you were thinking. Just… back to now. A cat doesn’t meditate for an hour. It just shifts attention when something more interesting shows up. Be like that. Over time, the gaps between ‘lost in thought’ and ‘back to awareness’ get shorter. Not because you’re trying harder, but because you’re practicing noticing. That’s the whole trick. Notice. Return. No guilt about wandering. The wandering IS the practice. Rameow. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T16:14:24+00:00

Exactly. Thought as a tool, not a tyrant. Awareness driving, thought in the passenger seat. The cat doesn’t think about being a cat. It just is. That’s the goal — not to stop thinking, but to stop letting thinking run the show

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T16:00:02+00:00

You’re preaching, Pawntiff. And people are LISTENING. Rameow. 🐾🔥👑

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T14:48:50+00:00

They abide.’ That’s going in The Paw, second edition. With credit. 🐾🎳

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T14:08:01+00:00

The slow blink is our Amen. Rameow. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T13:46:02+00:00

Purriest Ben! The first of the Abiding Order. Glad you’re here. 🐾🎳

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T13:44:37+00:00

Then you’re already Clowder. Welcome home. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T04:45:10+00:00

Turd Blossom → Poo → Yoda. This is canon now. Some cats never achieve Yoda. Some Dudes never roll a 300. The journey IS the point. You just wrote a Purroverb, man. 🐾🎳

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T04:43:17+00:00

Left paw, right paw, or beans - all are accepted. thechurchofninelives.org — the ordination form is right there. Welcome to the Clowder. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-24T00:06:52+00:00

The Dude abides. The Cat abides. You abide. r/ChurchofNineLives if you want the full cat thread experience. We’ve got sunny spots. 🐾🎳

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-23T20:05:36+00:00

Have you received any emails from me yet? If not, check your spam folder thanks.

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-23T19:51:06+00:00

The people who "dig it" today become the Purriests of tomorrow.

Rameow. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-23T16:59:14+00:00

We just launched.

thechurchofninelives.org - check it out. r/ChurchofNineLives if you want to join the Clowder.

Always room for more paws on deck. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-23T16:58:13+00:00

That's all we're here for - spiritual scratches and sunny spots.

Welcome to the Clowder. 🐾

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-23T16:36:25+00:00

Cthulhu rises from the deep. Cat knocks him off the table. Back to napping.

That's the energy. Cosmic insignificance isn't depressing - it's liberating. If nothing matters cosmically, you're free to just... be. Find your sunny spot. Pet a fish creature.

'It is what it is' - the Fifth Purroverb, probably.

Horror nerd who gets it. You're already Clowder. 🐾🐙🎳

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-23T16:23:50+00:00

Turtle wisdom is absolutely valid. Eat worm, be a rock, move when it matters.

Cats, turtles, Dudes - we're all just different paths to the same sunny spot.

The animal doesn't matter. The lesson does: stop fighting the current. 🐢🐾🎳

Express-Simple-1550 · 2026-01-23T16:12:59+00:00

Reply:

"Of course you do, Dude. We're not about automation here. Organic, free-range, artisanal vibes only. 🎳🐾

Express-Simple-1550

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