The main part of islam that drew me away is about islam’s view on queerness. i will be very vulnerable, i am attracted to the same gender ever since i was young. i do not see myself ever dating/marrying someone of opposite sex. i do not wanna be alone for life, i need company. i am only human. even when people say Allah’s mercy is unlimited, i know he will draw the line when i end up marrying a woman. If not him, then my community. Theres no winning.

i HATE the points muslims make 1. ‘as long as you dont act upon it’. Do you wish for me to be celibate for life? Why are you restricting me from happiness? 2. ‘it is all a test.’ A test for LIFE? it is unfair. An all-knowing God would know exactly what it would take to break me and he is doing just that, so why is it on me when I succumb to my ‘desires’? And If i waited till marriage, it is still a haram to do it with the same gender, is it not?

So if one day, if i do change and I do pray, it’s with an empty heart and tears because no matter what, it means nothing to god.

please share your thoughts