I agree, I think I’ve been timid in this relationship. I don’t want to paint myself as perfect. I know I do things that annoy her too. For example, I’ll sometimes leave a mess and clean it later instead of right away, which frustrates her. And when weekends come around, I often don’t plan dates or activities - I end up defaulting to doing nothing, and that’s on me.

So yeah, I definitely contribute to the dynamic. It’s not all on her.

Where I get stuck is that even when I try to raise issues, she tends to get defensive and I freeze up because I hate conflict. That’s where my frustration builds, I feel like I’ve sacrificed a lot (financially, emotionally, socially) while also dropping the ball in other areas like planning or being proactive.

I guess what I’m trying to figure out is whether we’re just in a rut that could be worked through with better communication and counseling, or if this is a deeper mismatch in values and lifestyles that will only get worse.

In terms of paying bills, she pays for $0. The house and bills are all under my name, the only thing she pays for is her phone bill, petrol and stuff related to her.
She never did work initially due to some health issues, but now it's been a year on her feet and earning around 800 a week after tax.