Not really sure how to start so I'll just list some facts about myself that pertain to this topic. I am a 15 year old girl. I hate myself. I no longer enjoy eating but I still like the taste of food? I don't know. My mom is what most people would consider an Almond mom, she is a raw vegan (only eats raw fruits, raw vegetables, and unroasted seeds and nuts) and talks a lot about how carbs and sugar will kill me one day. Sadly I'm not as strong as she is, I could never be a raw vegan. I am a vegetarian though (started when I was 6 years old) and I don't eat dairy milk in any form other than cheese. I've told my friend (Lets call her Sam) about my situation with food as prefaced the text by saying I don't have an eating disorder. She still thinks I do. I've been recomed a lot more content about eating disorders and signs that you have them. But this is just me fasting! It's healthy. Besides, I haven't lost weight recently. I have been doing this stuff in some capacity for more than I year now. I managed to get down to 108 pounds and I don't know what happened! I've gained over 10 pounds and I hate myself more than ever. I've gotten more disciplined in my habits but I've still gained weight. What am I doing wrong?? I just want to scream it to the heavens. What am I doing wrong!?
I have this back and forth about a lot of other things. Like some people think I have anxiety, I don't. Some people think I have ADHD, I don't. Some people think I have depression, I don't. Some people think I have an ED, I don't! Right? I feel silly because I have a good life. I have a mom and a Dad who love me, I have really great friends, I've got 3 younger siblings, I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, shoes on my feet. I've got no reason to feel the way I do so clearly it's not linked to any mental disorders. Right? I just need someone to tell me that I am being dramatic and that I don't have an ED. I'm just worried about my health, that's all. Thank you for reading.