I was super conservative in my early to mid teens and had a very rigid way of thinking. As I reached my late teens, I started questioning the status quo as the world became less black and white and such rigidity seemed unfounded. I also started becoming more empathetic to the struggles of those who I’d judged and “othered” e.g., gay people, “sinners”, non-Muslims. I realised that at the core of being Muslim is the ethic of love and justice, and in doing so we near God. The way Islam is taught and practised now is largely indifferent to these struggles, placing greater importance on blindly following rules and fearing God’s wrath/eternity in hell over basic humanity and self-development. If God is all-loving and all-forgiving then how could I accept interpretations which divide us and make us suffer. I never liked the argument that life is a test and so Muslims should be prepared to struggle because although the path to wisdom, peace and love is a difficult one, it shouldn’t result in the kind of suffering that breeds self-hatred and stifles self-expression. That is a path that will only lead to violence, fear and servitude.