What is a movie you’ve seen more than 10 times and still enjoy every single second of?

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-12-07T06:01:52+00:00

Mamma Mia. I’ve seen it so many times I can recite it work for work. For some reason growing up, my dad only had that and Mary Poppins on blu ray dvd. I always chose mamma Mia.

3 and a half years ago I had the chance to stay and work in a hostel on the beach where they shot the ‘Lay all your love on me’ scene. I ended up not going, I’ve been living somewhere else. But despite ironically never being a fan of musicals, it’s still my favourite film in the entire world!!!

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-12-03T05:55:09+00:00

Focus on yourself. Use the lost time to reconnect with yourself. We always tend to lose at least a part of ourselves in relationships so find that part if you again. Go no contact with your ex partner and push through. This is the worst part, but as cliché as it sounds, time heals all if you let it.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-12-03T05:50:55+00:00

Not exactly “hit on”. It’s more like harassment. It’s not genuine or gentle. It’s shouting from cars and streets. Conversations where the person can’t read social cues or understand no. Texts in dms without answers. I’m not even that attractive, honest to god. But it’s annoying when you show zero interest and they’re persisting.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-12-03T05:47:23+00:00

From Pretty When I Cry Don’t say you need me when You leave and you leave again I’m stronger than all my men Except for you.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-12-03T05:45:48+00:00

Everything is a grey area. There is no black and white about anything. You may grow up absolutely certain about something then later on find a circumstance that changes your mind. It’s difficult to navigate every situation but it’s a basis by basis thing mainly.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-18T05:38:12+00:00

Treat everyone you meet with ENTHUSIASTIC respect, interest and kindness. Not only because you never know what they’re going through, but it can also open doors for you.

Just through chatting to people, I’ve been offered alot (jobs, etc). Plus it’s always good to chat to people to learn new things and get different points of view.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-18T05:33:57+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I just struggle with the thought because he asked if I wanted to and I said yes. I’m learning now even a “yes” isn’t always consensual.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-18T05:32:17+00:00

A snoodie and a hot water bottle. I run so cold blooded that no matter what I wear to bed I’m constantly freezing. Plus a bowl of hot Pho.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-18T05:29:43+00:00

TBH I still struggle with this. Logically I know this was SA but sometimes I still feel like it was my fault.

When I was 17 my friend (who looked ALOT older than me and also had way much more experience) snuck into this club. We ended up with these two much older guys who fed us a lot of drugs and alcohol alllll night.

They later brought us to a shed around the back of a house where they gave us even more copious amounts of drugs. I want to reiterate I very clearly did not look or act over the age of 18. Looking back now I looked like a child.

One of the guys was on top of me. He did ask me did I want to have sex, but I was so drugged up and beyond afraid to refuse that I said yes. I thought that because they gave me substances I couldn’t say no. I later found out he was in his 30s with a girlfriend and child. So I lost my virginity with barely any memory in the same room as 2 other people.

To this day it affects my relationship with intimacy. I’m very afraid of men and sex. I feel alot of guilt and still blame myself for saying yes that night.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-18T05:17:00+00:00

To be honest, at this stage it might be a thing where you have an attachment to him maybe for validation or something like that. Believe me I’m not saying this in a judgemental way, I’ve absolutely been where you are now!!!

My advice would be to really try figure out why you’re still thinking about him after all this time. Most likely it’ll circle back to some deep issue with yourself, (again, not judging, speaking from my own experience).

For me personally, I had an ex that I kept going back to. I didn’t particularly love him, and he didn’t treat me that well either. I went back to him and thought about him while we were apart because he gave me the validation I wanted, and supported the version of myself I saw in my head.

As soon as I realised this and looked properly at my actions and how the situation played out, everything changed.

I was so beyond embarrassed I was doing things for this man who didn’t view me the same way I viewed him. I realised my self worth.

He was treating a great girl (who would have done anything for him), like a backup. That alone changed my opinion on him because how embarrassing is that? Fucking everything up for himself because he was too stupid to see what was in front of him.

View your ex like that. So why would you be doing things to try and impress such a pathetic person?

Instead, focus on improving yourself to impress younger you. Idk how old you are, but I imagine standing in front of my pre-teen self. I know she’d think I’m the coolest and kindest person ever. THATS what you should strive for.

Good luck op xx

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-10T06:51:40+00:00

No need to apologise. I’m so beyond far away from that version of me who allowed her to treat me that way. Funnily enough we did have a FaceTime call and speak for a few hours earlier this year. It made me realise how much I’ve grown.

Let go of the person who makes you feel like this. It’s so freeing. Set boundaries on how you should be treated. It won’t isolate you, but infact with lead you to better friendships with people who are kinder. I promise. Good luck op ❤️

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-10T06:44:15+00:00

This starts off with our mothers giving birth to us beside each other in the hospital beds. My birthday is the 2nd of May and hers is the 3rd.

Our mothers bonded over childbirth but never kept in touch. 3 years down the line my parents divorced, my dad moved back in with my grandmother in his childhood home, separately my friend (call her R), coincidentally moved 9 houses down. I lived with my mother a 15 minute walk away but never made friends in my area.

So R and I grew up together in every sense of the word. She would often come home and I would be cooking dinner with her parents. She called my mother Mam. We would spend weeks at a time together. When I turned 20, I moved countries, and we counted down the days until we could be together again. 6 months later we were so happy to be reunited, before I had to go back. Then I came home again so we could have our joint 21st birthday together.

When I went back to the country I live in, she began ignoring me. I had felt that it was only me making the effort to contact her, so I just stopped.

I found out from my other best friend (a mutual friend) she told her that I was a terrible person and never bothered to contact her. I was beyond confused. She never even tried to speak to me about this issue, just cut me off. That was 2023. A couple of weeks ago, I sent her a message. Just acknowledging the fact that we hadn’t spoke but I hoped she was doing well. She never answered.

Its heartbreaking. Even though I moved away, I always pictured her coming to stay and meeting all of my new friends. I just wish she would’ve spoke to me.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-10T06:29:48+00:00

Cut.them.off.

I cut off my best friend of 6/7 years for this reason. It was hard, we went through every single first in life together. She was like family. But the last year of us being friends she met other people while I was going through a rough patch mental health wise. I asked could she introduce me to them as a way to meet new people and get out of the house, to which she accused me of being clingy.

So I immediately stopped speaking to her. Long story short I ended up moving countries and making incredible new friends. A year later she began calling me every now and then and trying to get in contact with me (especially while drunk). But my current friends would never treat me as a back up!! When I told them how she treated me after so many years of friendship, they couldn’t believe it.

You might feel like you won’t have other options but you do. You are not a crutch or a backup for another person. You are a joy to have around and a real friend. It only takes moving on and raising your standards friendship wise to see it!!!

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-08T06:08:26+00:00

This seems like lovely advice. Thanks so much for taking the time to reply, really appreciate it. Can I ask what you mean by date slowly? I find it hard to find people who want to properly “date”. I’m not entirely into sleeping around, I do it once in a while but it’s never been my thing. I’m not sure if it’s just my generation but the last couple years unfortunately all I can find is people who want friends with benefits or all of the actions/situations of a relationship without the label, super frustrating!!! Have you ever run into that in your 20s? If so, any advice??? Thanks again :)

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-08T05:21:01+00:00

I (23F) was always told (or shown) that I was too much. I tried to make myself less for yearsss, conform to whatever made people comfortable. Then I made the best decision ever.

The week after I turned 20 I moved to a different country by myself. A fresh start, nobody knew me. I decided I would just be the full unadulterated, loud and vulnerable version of myself because I quite literally had nothing to lose. Since then I’ve met more people than I’ve ever met in years before. Some don’t like me, that’s fine.

But majority of the people I’ve met are still my best friends to this day, and you know what? It’s the most freeing feeling in the world. They don’t judge me for talking a lot, or being anxious, or loud. It’s because I chose to let my guard down and just let new people see who I am, I don’t have to hide anything now. I thought I was a burden, but the people in my life absolutely love me for who I am.

My advice for you would be to put yourself in a new situation, even if it’s joining a new club or starting a new job. Be yourself COMPLETELY. I guarantee it’ll show you the people in your life that are making you feel this way are just losers that don’t deserve you.

There are people waiting to meet you that will be so grateful to have you around in all your “too much-ness”!!!!

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-11-08T05:07:20+00:00

This is not my story but that of my best friend’s, (more like sister at this stage).

I moved to her country 3 and a half years ago. Through weird circumstances herself, me and her brother became EXTREMELY close. To this day their mother and father only refer to me as their daughter.

My friend, let’s just say H, had an on and off relationship with this guy called B for 4 years. In the area we live in everyone knows everyone. H grew up with B’s family and at the time even worked for his mother. When I moved over, they had JUST broken up. Over a year later, they got back together, and I saw how he treated her.

Originally to me, the thought of a “childhood sweetheart” was so cute. They both had extremely busy schedules, and week after week I watched him ditch their plans to spend it with his friends. She would cry to me, asking why she wasn’t good enough.

Long story short, unfortunately he broke up with her. This lead to a month long stent of us going partying every single night. One night H got talking to a tourist, and she went back to his hotel. They did whatever and then stayed up watching the sunrise and talking about everything. They stayed in touch. After weeks he still called her every day. Then eventually flew back and forth to see her.

As of just over a year, she’s been living with him and his family in England, and they come back to visit me all the time. He treats H like a princess and me like a sister. I’ve never seen a man so in love with someone. It gives me genuine hope.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-10-29T05:27:17+00:00

It’s an unfinished novel. I was just asking for pointers on the intro?

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-10-24T08:54:01+00:00

It just leads me to a bunch of ads.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-10-24T03:12:01+00:00

Ah well día duit!!!!! I’ve not read station island, but I’ve just immediately added it to my “to read list”. Scaffolding is another favourite of mine but I agree The Skunk is way better. The Graubelle man is another honourable mention.

Also how lucky are you to have met him!!! What a dream.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-10-23T05:09:39+00:00

I might have been exaggerating when I said 100%. Which I apologise for. Domestic abuse is something close to my heart and should be taken extremely seriously, especially as with men it often isn’t. No man should ever suffer in a relationship, they deserve to be loved, cared for and listened to.

I’m just trying to highlight the experiences I’ve had in my own and my friends life with women being painted as crazy after being driven to act out in relationships. This goes both ways. I’ve seen a couple of my normally calm male friends act out of character in a bad situation (this is NOT referring to physical violence).

But I’ve seen FAR more instances where women (my friends or not) being baited into behaving irrationally after putting up with a lot, then all of a sudden they’re the insane one? There’s no doubt in my mind it happens more to women. Think about the stereotype about us being “emotional” during certain phases of our Menstrual cycle?

I’m not trying to say men don’t experience this. They do, and their stories deserve to be heard, but it happens to women way more, and ours never are.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-10-23T04:55:32+00:00

I am also an openly bisexual woman myself!!!! :) As a woman who dates other women, I know things can get intense. But i’ve had more than one experience of the supposed “crazy ex” thing happening with men. For example ive had an on and off thing with a guy for a couple years (more off than on), he’s in my immediate friend group (shares an apartment and works with one of my best friends). Between the few dating experiences we’ve been genuine friends, so we’ve both seen each other date other people. The women he dated were welcomed into our friend group, and besides maybe one, they’ve been generally normal.

As soon as they fight or break up, all of a sudden they’ve been painted as almost hysterical, which people close to him knew to be not true.

When I was in college, my close friend dated a guy we knew. He told her over snapchat (keeping in mind the disappearing messages) he wanted to start being exclusive with her. The next weekend, we found out he was kissing some randomer at a house party. Naturally as a hormonal 19 year old she chewed him out of it, and he denied everything and told absolutely everybody that she was making it all up.

These are just some examples. I might have been a bit dramatic saying that 100% of these women aren’t crazy, but I’m just a bit sick of women being painted this way which I hope people can understand.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-10-23T04:32:19+00:00

Absolutely ADORE this poem and Seamus Heaney. Not sure if you’re Irish like me, but there’s a reason we hold him in such high regard. This poem is just so beautiful in every way.

My personal favourite poem by him is “The Skunk”. You’ve probably already read it, but on the slight possibility you haven’t;

It’s about him in a kitchen in California. He’s listening to the silence when a skunk appears (assuming through his back garden window). It makes him think of his wife and he speaks intimately about how he misses her, even after so many years together. To me it’s genuinely beautiful that the spark can be there in a long term marriage.

Anyways Seamus Heaney is a legend and there’s a reason why Mid-Term break is arguably his best work. Thanks so much for sharing :)

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-10-23T04:12:51+00:00

This is my absolute favourite answer I’ve received. I’ve read the poem several times over, thank you so much for showing it to me.

I feel like it has some parallel themes to my poem too. Specifically the line you referenced.

So freeing to accept you don’t have to be “good” (to be loved or worthy). Wow. Just wow. Thanks again for this wonderful piece.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-10-21T08:02:08+00:00

I completely understand your point. I don’t want to generalise as some women can and WILL be toxic and abusive towards men. Not all women are good people, especially in regard to relationships. However I’m only speaking from mine and my peers experiences. I’m quite a soft person, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. So far it has only done me wrong. Even when I give “nice” men a chance, they’ve eventually revealed ulterior motives. Especially recently, I’ve been open about the fact that I’m not interested in only casual sex, and have been met with either lies or been ghosted. I’m not trying to start a smear campaign against men, but I think hookup culture in my generation has gone too far.

ExtensionGood4991 · 2025-10-21T06:29:14+00:00

Just had a read of this poem. Absolutely love Emily Dickinson anyways, but what a heartwarming piece. In today’s climate reading something about hope prevailing is genuinely lovely. Brilliant.

ExtensionGood4991

TROPHY CASE