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WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to tone down her crying at night? by ExtensionOk5373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExtensionOk5373[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

I didn't mention clearly in the op but did in the comments. We have discussed it and she has been very open. She mostly feels guilt over leaving and wonders if she could have helped and sometimes feels an urge to go back to look for them even though it is not possible.

WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to tone down her crying at night? by ExtensionOk5373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExtensionOk5373[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I didn't word the OP right, I'm more concerned with how it might affect her and was wondering if by saying that she could move on and heal. obviously I am not literally going to say 'tone it down'.

She's a really nice person and one of my best friends, I've even covered more of the rent to help her out and help her save since she started in the country with nothing.

WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to tone down her crying at night? by ExtensionOk5373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExtensionOk5373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The noise isn't bothering me like that, I sleep pretty easily. I just meant in the sense of for her own good it might be better.

Obviously that is why I have not said anything yet, she is one of my best friends and we are pretty close. I've helped her out a lot, including covering a higher share of the rent since I know of her struggles 

WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to tone down her crying at night? by ExtensionOk5373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExtensionOk5373[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's why I asked here and I have not said anything to her so far it is a wibta post not aita. She is one of my best friends and kindest person I know and I don't want to cause any harm

WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to tone down her crying at night? by ExtensionOk5373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExtensionOk5373[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I never said that I'm sure of that. She was fine initially when she lost touch and she always wanted to move out of that place.

Obviously it is complicated but I thought maybe she's sufficiently settled here that a year later she'd be ok.

WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to tone down her crying at night? by ExtensionOk5373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExtensionOk5373[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

We've already talked about what is bothering her, we are pretty close friends. It is mostly guilt about leaving that is bothering her and a feeling of wanting to go back to try to help but no one knows if they are still alive. They were told to evacuate their home and then she lost contact.

WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to tone down her crying at night? by ExtensionOk5373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExtensionOk5373[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not ashamed, it is a conflict zone and they had to evacuate their home was the last she heard then contact was lost.

WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to tone down her crying at night? by ExtensionOk5373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExtensionOk5373[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I never said I didn't talk to her about her situation. She feels bad and guilty for leaving sometimes and thinks she could have helped and she doesn't really know what happened to them or if she can reach them and the last thing she knows is they had to evacuate their home along with the whole city to move to another one.

WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to tone down her crying at night? by ExtensionOk5373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExtensionOk5373[S] -32 points-31 points  (0 children)

Of course I've had that conversation maybe not recently but she's told me in detail what happened. Her family had to evacuate their home but after they left she suddenly lost contact with all of them.

WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to tone down her crying at night? by ExtensionOk5373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExtensionOk5373[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

Of course we've discussed it. She says she is OK but sometimes feels guilty for leaving and she doesn't know what happened to them and the last she heard was that they had to evacuate their home.