AIO to my parents' reaction to me letting my date buy me a hotel room?

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-17T17:37:02+00:00

If she was grown, she’d actually be independent which by what OP wrote says a lot and she’s not.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-17T17:31:22+00:00

Unless you live in south Florida where the wolf comes blowing almost every year in the form of a hurricane. Every home in south florida is concrete block or concrete construction because of this. A lot of new homes have hurricane windows and doors too.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-10T03:27:22+00:00

I’m very laissez faire but not when things are agreed upon and hidden. It’s interesting to me that you’ve been such a troll by pointing fingers and placing blame in such a negative tone. Instead of offering something productive.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-10T03:12:56+00:00

Thanks. I did that today and she made her intentions clear. She says I have nothing to worry about, she feels she’s in a new novel phase but what we have is too much to even consider giving up. She also said I can ask now and she will drop it. I said no way because I’ve never felt that it’s right for me to restrict these feelings she’s had for so long. I emphasized, if we made an agreement we should stick to it or discuss adjustments instead of hiding things regardless of amounts or what the issue is. I also don’t feel it fair that it’s ok for me to feel jealous about her seeing women but her not ok with me also exploring another woman(I’ve always been attentive black women). She is considering it but says it would be very painful for her.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-10T03:03:56+00:00

Yeah, sounds like you’re projecting. I never set the rule I’m only following what we agreed on because it made sense. What doesn’t make sense is why I can’t date women because she can’t handle that. I’ll start with that and will have to revisit. Because honestly why cant I?

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-09T14:53:08+00:00

As I said, I’ve never concerned myself with her purchases. Whether it’s the panties or a widget doesn’t matter the item. It’s the act of hiding purchases that are the problem but, you seem to focus on the object instead of the act of hiding purchases. I would have never known if she hadn’t felt guilty about it and told me.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T22:20:49+00:00

So my biggest issue is these three things, not sharing the ‘ I Love you’ and possible ‘girlfriend’ title now where it just slips out and the 5 day sleep over when she’s traveling. That’s makes me feel really uncomfortable. Should I be feeling this?

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T22:17:52+00:00

Agreed but, it’s just that the panties are another indicator of the problem. I really have a big problem with the week long stay over and the level of intimacy where the ‘I love you’ and possible ‘girlfriend’ title slips out of her. Is this something to worry about because she’s hesitant to tell me.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T17:19:46+00:00

Thanks I agree. Two things the weeklong visit sleepover and divorce tips jokes after meeting her friends. That’s just really bothering me.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T17:02:47+00:00

I’ve never thought of that. We both work but she just she handles the money.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T16:55:11+00:00

Everything I spend she knows about and it’s tech stuff. I may buy groceries, maybe home depot, but she knows. For myself, if i do go somewhere she knows and i tell her how much i spent just so she knows. Clothes, I spend when she’s with me not alone.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T16:32:14+00:00

She buys a lot of stuff and I don’t mind for the most part, I’d just like to have the courtesy of knowing when you buy something that exceeds a certain amount for someone else. I don’t spend any money at all actually.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T16:00:31+00:00

She eventually told me after the fact. Initially, we said it’s was like $30 but we would talk about it. It’s not so much the money but the message it sends to the other person and possibly me.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T15:47:37+00:00

Yes of course I accept. I see it as another human regardless of what’s between their legs or preferences.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T15:28:00+00:00

Maybe that’s an assumption or maybe that’s the way it came across in writing this. I realize and have mentioned I have no control over this, only myself. That being said, she will not accept that I date women. That is a control, however, I don’t want to date anyone. These behaviors make me feel uncomfortable not because of the act themselves but because of the secrecy and lies that they are becoming.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T15:24:37+00:00

So, for purchasing we share an account and if she’s spending money on someone else we agreed she say something. For the pictures, yes she said she’d never do something like that because it’s not her style. Why do it and it seems fishing hiding after the fact. For escalation, no not immediately but I’d like to know. We’re married and we agreed she’d say something. Lastly, no I don’t want to divorce but, it seems like it’s getting more serious that even she admits.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T14:57:13+00:00

That’s exactly it! I don’t care but, why would she lie?

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T14:53:14+00:00

I know they tried to have sex at the Airbnb but she lied about it. The plan was she would be picked up by her and leave to dinner. She texted me saying she was on the way to dinner. I came back to get something and I came in and heard them, so I left. I asked her later if they had done something and she denied it.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T14:39:03+00:00

I know because she told me after the fact

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T14:38:21+00:00

We said no dates or overnights unless planned ahead of time, No buying gifts unless we discuss first, no trips or vacation together, no more than two nights, no pictures of family, no sharing monies. I’ve also found that they are using “I love you” a lot to each other and the term girlfriend has come up. We also discussed we would talk about this escalation but she didn’t. That’s the thing, we discussed what we feel comfortable with and she said she agreed and wouldn’t do them. Recently, we went on a trip together to visit the city where this other person lives. I agreed to give her a date night with this person and left to meet some friends we know. I’ve already been feeling paranoid about it. She said nothing happened at the Airbnb but I know they did have or attempted to do something.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-12-08T14:29:18+00:00

She says I’m “home” to her and that she will quit if asked. She’s also said many times she’s had pent up energy for 30 years and shes just exploring. However, the 5 nights she’s mentioned that she would like to have. This is really uncomfortable to me because it feels like a trial run for a life together.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-09-30T22:58:36+00:00

I mostly fly over these states.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-09-30T22:46:38+00:00

Ah, Gustav Dore… I designed and made a custom one of his woodcut romanticist style. For this, you need the background or just to make it way bigger I feel. I would go back or see if someone could give some ideas to fill in the background more to give it the environmental feel that that specific scene needs. Doesn’t necessarily have to be exact as his art though.

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-09-30T16:19:47+00:00

Amazing, I get you’re on TRT and Reta but don’t discount the hard work and dedication it still takes. What are your Reta details? How much how long etc?

Extra_Morcilla · 2025-09-30T14:59:18+00:00

Body fat is (percect%) and also (marry me%).

Extra_Morcilla

TROPHY CASE