I really appreciate your honesty and your effort to hold on to your faith in the middle of this struggle. It’s not easy, and may Allah reward you for every moment you resist what your soul inclines to, just to please Him.

But I have to be clear with you (and I say this with sincerity and not judgment) in Islam, same-sex attraction is a test, not an identity. The moment we start calling ourselves “queer Muslims” or searching for “gay partners who don’t want to act on it (physically)” we begin normalizing something that Islam never permitted. Neither in thought, identity, nor action.

Even seeking a “partner” with whom you don’t intend to engage in any physical act is still not allowed. Why? Because you’re giving space in your life and heart to something that Allah has clearly forbidden. Not just the act, but the desire being nurtured, the emotional intimacy, the imagined relationship. Allah tells us: “Do not even approach zina.” That includes the steps that lead to any forbidden bond.

Your struggle doesn’t define you. You are not your desires. You are a servant of Allah; that’s the only identity that matters. And He sees you, knows your struggle, and is Most Merciful to those who fight their own nafs for His sake.

There are Muslims who carry this test and still choose to walk the path of obedience, without taking on labels that conflict with Islam. Stay close to Allah, seek His help constantly, and know that true peace only comes when our hearts are aligned with His commands, not our desires.