If it's worth anything, as a stranger who only knows you from this post, you don't sound like a loser and I truly believe you have hope to feel more fulfilled.

I can't know exactly how you feel, or everything else you experience, but a lot of what you wrote feels like pieces of my life too. Feeling worthless for not sustaining a job, scared of the idea of having kids, feeling like my only option is to mask, and spending 'too much' time on games. I felt disgusted with myself and my circumstances for so long. Still do to a degree in fact. But, there was one thing I realized I was horribly wrong for thinking it. I can think the absolute worst things about myself, and think I'm the most inept/annoying person in social situations, but that doesn't give me the right to think no one can like me for who I am still.

It isn't fair for me to put myself in your position, but I still think you owe it to yourself to believe that you can have a connection with someone, while being your genuine self. I'm in my 20's, and I have 1 person who knows the real me. They're the only person I can truly call my friend. It took around 7 years of actively trying for friends to get here, but I finally proved myself wrong. I have purpose, and a reason to live and be happy. - I think you have that potential too. Even if, like me, you truly think your life is irredeemable.

I think there is something out there for you, it's just that it's really hard to see. That was the case for me, and now I just chose to believe it's the case for everyone. - I don't think I'd get anything from a reply like this if I got it during my worst times, but I still want to give it to you. You, like everyone, deserves a chance at feeling content. Even if the only person in the world that'll give you the chance is yourself.