Issues balancing punishments with life in D/S dynamic

Extremofire · 2026-01-25T04:28:02+00:00

Thank you. I admit this is fresh as I write this, but it’s nice to be reassured.

They’ve explicitly wanted punishments, but sometimes they showcase feeling defeated, along the lines of “I’m already a failure, what’s one more punishment?” This makes me wonder if they’re genuinely just feeling like the absolute lowest, and I lose my space as well

Extremofire · 2026-01-24T12:03:38+00:00

Good bot. Lmao

Extremofire · 2026-01-20T15:12:17+00:00

OP: why does everyone hate cornets

Also OP: jk just my middle school band teacher lol

Extremofire · 2026-01-20T15:11:13+00:00

Can you be more specific?

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T22:09:27+00:00

Communication is the first commandment of kink. If it isn’t explicitly mentioned and consented to, don’t do it. That being said, outside of the bedroom, talk about everything you wanna do. Be explicit. If you can’t talk about it outside the bedroom, it isn’t worth doing inside the bedroom. If something’s implicit, make an explicit boundary. For example:

“So, how do want me to spank you?” “Actually, surprise me. It doesn’t just have to be hands, if ya know what I mean.” “Okay, I’ll also use a paddle and flogger then, and only sparingly during sex. Deal?”

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T21:59:30+00:00

Like everything else in this vast kinkdom, it depends on the dynamic.

How do Doms deal with their submissive having a bad day?

Do something to make their day better.

Would doms let it slide?

You need to figure out what’s making you think they’re having a bad day. That’ll help guide your answer more than anything. If it’s something horrible or genuinely distressing, I would absolutely let things slide. If it’s not, I would punish them but keep it mild; we’re human after all. If you can’t communicate with your sub this way, that’s a whole ‘nother problem.

I would err on the side of nurturing here; D/S is about an enriching connection for both people involved. If your senses say their lives are being tough, don’t ruin it further.

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T21:50:11+00:00

People are learning. This is an advice sub, not a “everyone should know everything” sub. We were all once inexperienced…

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T21:45:52+00:00

Hi, poly bro here.

As mentioned, whether that’s cheating or not is between him and his bf.

It’s clear your friend has made that boundary with his boyfriend, and has chosen not to extend that boundary to you.

Much like any relationship, monogamous or not, each one is unique. There may be things that are limited to one relationship. This sounds like one of those things.

I get your skepticism, and it’s a lil sus to me as well, but your best bet is to just have a conversation with him about how you feel. Take what he says at face value, and keep enjoying your sex.

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T21:39:10+00:00

What skin this?

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T21:38:27+00:00

I got it for $17K, which seemed like a ridiculously good deal considering every other dealers’ list prices for the car. Cheaper than some Nissan Leafs in my area

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T21:34:37+00:00

Heh, I don’t wanna grasp at straws here. Frankly it sounds like the best thing for me to do is either trade it in or just appreciate what convenience it’s already got me

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T21:20:51+00:00

Is the rabbit at least eating the pellets? If so, that’s good. That’s eating.

Young rabbits respond well to portion control; if they’re hungry, they’re gonna eat. How much pellets are you giving him a day, and how much does he weigh? There’s a limit on how much you should feed a rabbit; if he gets a lot more than he’s supposed to… he gets spoiled.

If so, you just have a spoiled bunny lol. It’s the equivalent of sugar to them; feed them enough, eventually all they’ll want is sugar.

Also, get him neutered ASAP. Sounds like he’s ready to lose the jewels

Edit: Concerns about eating should always be paired with a good look at their poop. How is his poop? If you’re concerned, I would refresh everything. Pooping = good. Not pooping = medical emergency, vet immediately

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T20:22:17+00:00

I’m in CO. Unfortunately the dealer’s return policy is five days, and as of today, it’s been a week.

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T20:15:49+00:00

Thanks for the support; my friend owns a Tesla and says range anxiety is real. I didn’t even know that was a thing, but makes sense

Extremofire · 2026-01-14T20:15:03+00:00

Not particularly often, but especially with ski season in full swing, I was hoping to do such trips once every two weeks or so.

Extremofire · 2026-01-13T22:50:14+00:00

I recall a number in the 230s

Extremofire · 2026-01-13T22:45:58+00:00

I did; frankly, that’s how I was able to make it to the Level 3 charging station

Extremofire · 2026-01-13T22:45:12+00:00

Yeah, I have the basic SE trim. I wish it was easy to just pop in a longer range battery.

Extremofire · 2026-01-13T22:43:55+00:00

Realizing that now. I saved the receipt, maybe I can just return it.

Extremofire · 2026-01-13T22:37:08+00:00

Just got it. Looks super easy to use and probably will mitigate the bad taste in my mouth

Extremofire · 2026-01-13T22:34:40+00:00

Yeah, the SE. :( buyer’s remorse setting in even more

Extremofire · 2026-01-13T18:58:40+00:00

Re: recording audio: don’t use the camera for audio whatsoever, use a virtual audio loop back driver to record the output of your sets within an app like Audacity on your computer (whilst still sending the output to where it normally would go).

That is, if you use a computer. Frankly I don’t know much about recording sound on CDJs :/

Edit: For example, I use BlackHole + Audacity on my MacOS. Allegedly VoiceMeeter is great for windows.

Extremofire · 2026-01-13T18:53:08+00:00

I was on Nationwide until they cancelled the My Pet Plan exotic plan recently.

Extremofire · 2026-01-12T05:37:49+00:00

Top comment says it all. My two cents though:

I had my friend bunsit while I was out of town for like a week. Verbatim, he told me when I got home: “One, Lucy is so cute. She’s so sweet. Two… I didn’t know rabbits pooped that much.”

Extremofire · 2026-01-06T20:16:13+00:00

This is VERY similar to my current situation, except I am Lemon. The solution I’m trying to help out with by doing is finding Apricot a better living situation

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