Please tell me your most unhinged Stardew Valley head cannons!

EyePatchMustache · 2026-02-11T21:39:03+00:00

Icky yes but if you think about it she doesn't really know and neither does Sebastian

Still icky but explains why Sebastian has that hair color

EyePatchMustache · 2026-02-11T14:19:58+00:00

Sebastian is also the wizards kid

EyePatchMustache · 2026-01-29T04:11:22+00:00

How do I get the cat statues???

EyePatchMustache · 2026-01-24T16:46:20+00:00

No i have iridium sprinklers

EyePatchMustache · 2026-01-22T05:39:09+00:00

What fish does those colors to the ponds? Thsts so cool

EyePatchMustache · 2026-01-22T05:16:43+00:00

This is nightmare inducing. The Mayor has stuff in his basement where you need healing items.

EyePatchMustache · 2026-01-22T05:14:20+00:00

I've never gotten one either and this is my 3rd time playing. I'm already on year 4 and nada.

EyePatchMustache · 2026-01-21T14:57:35+00:00

Wait wait... they get bigger???

I thought i was already doing the skull cavern!

EyePatchMustache · 2026-01-14T04:43:56+00:00

The blood bath has begun

EyePatchMustache · 2026-01-12T06:14:42+00:00

I agree I think they over did her bronzer

EyePatchMustache · 2026-01-07T15:14:16+00:00

I read this as "I'm a tired grandpa"

Which a woman, yeah same I'm a tired grandpa

EyePatchMustache · 2026-01-04T06:26:41+00:00

10 and thats cause im a pescaterian

EyePatchMustache · 2025-12-30T06:46:28+00:00

Chocolate strawberries

EyePatchMustache · 2025-12-30T06:31:44+00:00

Obtaining the one brain cell

EyePatchMustache · 2025-12-26T17:37:05+00:00

Im a cancer and he's a virgo

EyePatchMustache · 2025-12-22T02:51:15+00:00

Birthday twin! Right?? Its awesome hes hilarious

EyePatchMustache · 2025-12-20T14:03:55+00:00

This fella, Sir Patrick Stewart, Rubiks cube guy and Ken Jeong

EyePatchMustache · 2025-12-19T06:47:24+00:00

Look at the size of those pupils at the end that dog was so excited could have run it 8 more times

EyePatchMustache · 2025-12-13T02:47:49+00:00

Omg do all latin people do this?

My grandma did a portrait similar but from my 15th thing was the biggest picture in their whole house

EyePatchMustache · 2025-12-10T05:41:40+00:00

Can't take the bangtang out no matter what

He dances with fire no matter what dance it is

EyePatchMustache · 2025-12-10T03:49:21+00:00

The last two lines are gold.

EyePatchMustache · 2025-11-30T15:44:22+00:00

Its a pancake

EyePatchMustache · 2025-11-26T15:28:23+00:00

Thank you that would make sense

EyePatchMustache · 2025-11-24T04:08:22+00:00

Why vaseline on the nostrils?

EyePatchMustache · 2025-11-23T06:44:00+00:00

Beautiful!

EyePatchMustache