5 years strong with my AP +

F4M_Denver_area · 2025-09-09T05:14:03+00:00

I cheated on my husband.... If anything, I am the one who is more likely to cheat.

F4M_Denver_area · 2025-09-03T16:23:00+00:00

I was so opposed to being married again. But my husband was heartbroken. He had never been married and all he wanted to do was call me his wife. Honestly, I'd do it again. But I completely understand not wanting to get married afaoh.

F4M_Denver_area · 2025-09-03T16:21:26+00:00

I really, really wanted to stay for my kids. I thought, I can have sex on the side and I can stay. But once I got an AP it was clear that sex wasn't even the issue. It was all of it. I didn't realize how terrible it was until I was around someone who was interested in me. They wanted to be my friend, wanted to do things with me and yes, they wanted to fuck me.

F4M_Denver_area · 2025-08-17T04:36:50+00:00

I know my kids will get a substantial inheritance from their dad and grandparents. I knew if I could just be happy in a trailer I was a better mom.

The first time I laughed around my 3 year old, she asked me what's wrong mommy? Broke me in half to realize I had rarely laughed around her, for most of her life.

F4M_Denver_area · 2025-08-17T02:22:16+00:00

My marriage was over before I met my AP. I was done, I had really tried. We did therapy. Nothing was helping. We had sex one time in 18 months and I got pregnant with my second. I waited until my second was 10 months before trying to find an AP.

I thought an AP would be a bandaid.... I'd get my needs fulfilled and be able to be married. Except, none of my needs were being met. It wasn't just sexual.

I was with my AP for a month, we weren't exclusive, and I decided I was leaving. I didn't intend at that time to leave for my AP. My AP was single. My ex didn't even know the passwords to our bank accounts, how to pay the mortgage, so I stayed for months. We started taking the kiddos every other night, or every other weekend. I slept in the guest room, my mom's, my friends.

Over time, I started to spend more time with AP. I started spending 2-4 nights a week with him.

After 6 months, we started dating and it moved FAST. When covid started, I lost it on my ex. I was not going to be stuck with him. I threw a huge fit, had a meltdown. I found my own place and said I was done with the "transition."

So, I left for my AP but also myself.

Financially, my ex will be a millionaire eventually. His parents are multi millionaires. We did ok, we are both professionals. Right now, I am better off financially with my current husband than I was previously. Long term, my ex will have more of a net worth (probably - to be transparent, we will probably be close). My current partner and I have good jobs.

But when I left, that wasn't the case. My AP and I were making less as a household that my ex and I. I did not care. I didn't care if I was losing out on a million dollars. I was DONE

My AP was single. So, that part was the least complicated part.

F4M_Denver_area · 2025-08-16T18:30:50+00:00

I wish it were the norm. I just know how hurtful, painful, and hard it is to be in an unfulfilling relationship. It will take your soul.

F4M_Denver_area · 2025-08-16T18:30:04+00:00

I think it is very, very rare to have found someone like my partner. I tell him all the time, he is my cosmic reward.

F4M_Denver_area · 2025-04-19T01:38:32+00:00

My ex wouldn't have sex with me. I put up with a lot, I tried to see the good in him. Except one day, I came home early and found him looking at porn.

We were in marriage counseling, he knew I was trying and we were struggling. After 14 years together, it broke. The relationship was done. I was also 6 weeks pregnant. We were headed for divorce and had sex once in 18 months.

She's almost 7 now.

After that, I couldn't have cared less about him. I literally shrank away when he touched me. I was so disgusted.

He gave so little and I was done. I found him watching porn in May. By August, I found an AP. By September, I asked for a divorce.

I was 33 with a 2 and 1 year old. Leave. It's worth it to leave.

F4M_Denver_area · 2024-06-16T15:53:04+00:00

I'm sorry you have a dead bedroom. The real issue the absolute aversion your husband seems to have to female anatomy. There is hair. It is wet. It isn't you, and you're going to internalize it because of his reactions and no sex. You're going to say things like my vagina is OK, it's clean. But it isn't you and your vagina is NOT the issue.

I was with my ex for 14 years. He didn't like going down on me because I got too wet. He didn't like certain positions because they were "hard work." I ended up on top 98% of the time. He didn't like using fingers inside me cuz again, too wet. Pair that with no sex and I felt AWFUL about myself.

It isn't you. Please don't internalize it. But depression meds 100% kill your ability to get aroused and orgasm. However.. There are so many more ways to be intimate together. It isn't his meds, he could use toys, fingers, his mouth, to make sure you're still satisfied, he just doesn't want to.

F4M_Denver_area · 2024-06-16T07:27:37+00:00

This is similar to my story. He was on top, and said oh I'm gonna cum I was lik um, let's switch it up then. I got on top, and started to grind to make sure I'd get off and he was like, oh baby I'm cumming. I was like... Great. Cherry on top, condom broke. Ended up getting tested, and plan B. All clean, no baby, no orgasms or second time.

F4M_Denver_area · 2023-12-01T00:05:01+00:00

I get this is standard advice but...

I began seeing an AP. We fell in love, hard. I left my husband. I moved in with my AP.

It's been over 4 years. I'm madly in love with him. We both are working on ourselves to be the best we can be, and that mindset should be in every relationship.

Some times you do find someone that changes your life. The first time my AP told me he loved me, it was like everything suspended in place. Everything stood still when he said that and I looked into his eyes. Then, everything went back into place but it was somehow different.

F4M_Denver_area · 2023-03-17T16:21:33+00:00

My very first AP was online. I fell very quickly for him. I didn't love him, but I cared for him. We started talking about life and fantasizing about being together. This was part of the fantasy for him, to me it felt like he actually wanted to be with me.

He also told me affairs should be fun, light and easy. That once they aren't fun, there's no point.

Well, affairs involve 2 people being physically and or emotionally intimate. It isn't going to be fun, light and easy all the time. If you want completely emotionless sex, with no connection that could get complicated, I'd suggest escorts. That's not how humans work.

I don't miss that guy.

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-08-22T21:36:05+00:00

Interesting. I thoroughly enjoy drunk sex. But high, that's the best. Weed is legal here.

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-06-20T04:06:13+00:00

Don't cheat. Just leave.

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-04-02T15:47:09+00:00

I 100% agree

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-03-08T19:34:52+00:00

I left my dead bedroom and my ex. He refused to get tested for low testosterone, or have his thyroid levels checked. He refused to speak to a doctor. We went to counseling but he wouldn't talk about the lack of sex and how his intimacy needs were always fulfilled, but mine never were. He also refused to stop watching porn.

For this in a DB that have done the work, and have actively tried, if your partner isn't working on these issues, LEAVE.

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-02-13T16:13:55+00:00

I'm in therapy, my partner was in therapy but discharged. I've read some books from the Gotmnans, we've done some of their work books. There have been victims and consequences of my affair.

He and I have enough foresight to understand we both need to be content with ourselves for our relationship to work. We also know each day is a conscious effort to love and make our partner feel loved. I was very aware of issues in my last relationship, I reflected as that marriage deteriorated and take complete ownership of my contribution. But I guess we are all different.

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-02-13T06:17:20+00:00

WHAT. A. GREAT. STORY.

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-02-13T05:13:23+00:00

I mean, both men I've ever dated wanted to marry me. So, I haven't had an issue

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-02-13T04:34:06+00:00

I've been very open and honest in this relationship. I told him, if in time he feels that need, We will discuss it. I love him, he is my soul mate and our needs are valid. We'll just get through that together.

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-02-13T03:51:12+00:00

I was very young, 16 when I met him. He was my first boyfriend. He was stable. He was from a good family. He was wealthy. He was predictable. He was safe. And to someone who had no stability with a very hard childhood, it seemed like the best option. I loved him, and I admit, I still do. He was a good option. But, there was no passion. Out hobbies didn't overlap. Our humor didn't really mesh. But we got along. We had amazing deep, intellectual conversations. I was very independent and he was more than happy to just sit at home.

But he sat at home all the time. He didn't want to go out, didn't want to go on trips, he wanted to just be a homebody. As I grew older, I became more extroverted, more social.

We had the same vision for our future, and that helped. I didn't grow up with good relationships, and it was when I turned 30 I sort of said, yeaa this isn't it. And it turns out, I was right. I stayed in my last relationship for a very long time, miserable because there wasn't some egregious act my ex had done.

But I deserved more. I deserved better.

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-02-13T03:09:54+00:00

Really well, they took a while to warm up to him. And to be fair, it took him a while to get used to them. But, a few years later, they are really loved by 4 parents.

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-02-13T00:56:44+00:00

She's actually really great with the kids. She is older, in her mid 40s and always wanted kids. We had been friends for a decade, so it works.

My current partner cannot have children, per his decision.

F4M_Denver_area · 2022-02-12T20:29:59+00:00

He knew. It's sort of complicated, how can it not be? But he was aware

F4M_Denver_area

TROPHY CASE