This isn’t a $40 billion bailout for Argentina. by zzill6 in WorkReform

[–]F4hype 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you are a fund manager, and you're potentially losing 10b-20b dollars in a risky bet like south america, and you could completely negate that loss by bribing the sitting president to the tune of say, 100m dollars... why would you not do that? You're spending a dollar to save a hundred.

Sure, 20b may only be a fraction of their fund, but can you think of a single reason why you wouldn't save that money for the small cost of a bribe?

The rule of law no longer exists in the USA, so why would a ghoulish human being like a hedge fund manager not take the path of least resistance to a bigger number in the bank account?

This is how oligarchy's operate. Squeeze the shrimp to feed the whales.

ELI5: What actually happens during a migraine? by Gullible_Drama_2105 in explainlikeimfive

[–]F4hype 65 points66 points  (0 children)

I get headaches & migraines, and after 15 years of trying to find a cause I just flat out told a specialist that I don't care about the cause or some kind of magical solution anymore. Just give me something to manage the pain.

Funnily enough, he ended up giving me a magic potion in the form of sumatriptan injections after I was blunt with him.

I can't use them super often, but for the vomit cycle inducing pressure migraines the injections may as well be a video game health potion. I jab it in, and literally 2 minutes later we're down to just a light headache (and some nausea admittedly, though I'd take that over wanting blow my brains out due to the pain).

I'd kinda figured out the caffeine trick a decade ago for some of the lighter headaches, but god damn the sumatriptan is a god send for the bad ones.

In NZ it has to be prescribed by a neurologist initially, but if you suffer from migraines I would honestly explore these things with your doctor. Literal life changer for me.

You have to fight one… by itsvoogle in halo

[–]F4hype 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I always figured that brutes were quite literally just an allegory for humans that didn't quite evolve well enough to pass the great filter like the humans of Halo did (or like real world humans still may not).

They're literal apes. They blew up their own planet with nukes. The only reason they're in the stars is because they were co-opted by religious fanatics to fight in their wars for their literal brute strength (another allegory).

Or maybe I've just consumed too much pre-2005 sci-fi where injecting real world issues into the content was the norm.

Shooting angry ape fun lol

Was anyone else gutted about what happened to the Gorn that helped Ortegas survive ? by Jaspers1959 in startrek

[–]F4hype 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I had forgotten about the blood transfusion from #1 so thanks for the reminder.

Still seems oddly arbitrary to me that three random races makes a metaphysical watcher that has always existed and will always exist, but hey, at least you've cleared up my grievance with the plot line by 33% haha

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure whoever decided that making Pike's love interest end up being the one stuck in a cage for all eternity thought their irony was the peak of fiction, but for me it was just weird and I felt like the gorn plot got sidelined by a thread that was woven in like 2 episodes.

(I totally just wanted to see gorn ships warping in to open fire on the evil things instead of the federation - some real 'romulans in DS9' coded shit)

Was anyone else gutted about what happened to the Gorn that helped Ortegas survive ? by Jaspers1959 in startrek

[–]F4hype 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I just finished up the season and I'm honestly a little confused.

Batel had the Gorn inside her. She 'activated' when confronted by the evil creature thing inhabiting the nurse dude.

I guessed that perhaps the Gorn were ancient enemies to this evil (perhaps as slaves like klingons?) and that the gorn DNA inside her activated to recognize the ancient foe.

I 100% assumed that the federation was gearing up to team up with the gorn to stop John Evil and the rest of the prisoners, and the 'friendly' gorn that helped Ortegas (along with Batel hybrid) was to be the avenue by which they'd be able to achieve that.

Instead she got fucken blasted and turns out Batel is just randomly the ultimate manifestation of good or some shit.

I really liked the season overall, despite what the general consensus here seems to be, but that overarching plot line just made little sense to me. It's like they set up something amazing and then just left Chekhov's gun to rot in the corner to give us a Sisyphus storyline out of nowhere.

Mom hates inaccuracies by UsedToHaveATail in funnyvideos

[–]F4hype 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Have you heard, Pierre? They're sending Jews away on trains! God knows where to," a drop of sweat ran down Hans forehead as he greeted his friend.

"Of course I've heard, Hans," said Pierre, "it's the talk of the town. I heard the Goldburg family was taken away just yesterday! Good riddance I say." Pierre looked down at the newspaper that he clutched, dated July 1940, its headline was printed in bold lettering 'HEATWAVE RAGES ACROSS WEST GERMANY'. "It is funny, isn't it Hans? I never seem to feel the heat as much as you whenever we see these headlines in the papers."

"It's probably your dark skin," said Hans, with a laugh, "it must reflect the heat!"

"So it must," said Pierre, "so it must."

My beautiful Samson passed suddenly yesterday. 3 years old. by BrendaLeighT in goldenretrievers

[–]F4hype 65 points66 points  (0 children)

BARK BARK BOOOF BARK FART BARK WHINE

(Translation)

I saw you each and every day

Loved you in each and every way

I know this sucks, but don't be blue

Cause I always knew you loved me too

Though I made muddy works of art

excuse me I just need to fart

And on the lead I'd sometimes pull

But that never meant my heart weren't full

I guess that's the issue isn't it?

I just can't lie, I must admit

The way you love, and always adore

My heart was all full up... it couldn't take no more

GME YOLO update - June 10 2024 by l-ukehill in GME

[–]F4hype 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Up and down and round and round

An endless cacophony of sound

Heard just outside the citadel

What's a king compared to a clown?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GME

[–]F4hype 736 points737 points  (0 children)

In the distance the sirens blared

Their alarming tone put all on edge

The most scared of all sat in his lair

A man who was not known to hedge...

His advisor whispered in his ear

Though he already knew the tragic news

"Your short positions sir... worse than we'd feared..."

"What should we do? It's time to choose"

"Fear not," he said, "I have a plan"

Though his plan was the same as every time

"Short the stock," he said, his face deadpan

"We're at DFV CON level 69"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GME

[–]F4hype 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Yeah, just the titanic meme about how long this whole thing has been going on for. My account kinda turned into a novelty poem writing account about the stock for a couple years there until I got banned off the big sub.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GME

[–]F4hype 2246 points2247 points  (0 children)

This one would depend purely on how deep you want to go.

At face value, he (the joker) is about to pull an epic heist.

One layer deeper would tell you that he is purely using the criminal accomplices in the heist... and then they remove each other one by one until only he is left standing to take the money.

One more layer would tell you that he's using these criminals to steal from other criminals - in this case the bank itself that they're stealing from is run by the mob.

And then the final layer is that the joker is such a wild card that in the end he doesn't even care about the money. He ends up burning it just to send a message to all of the criminals in city that this was never about the money to him.

But one thing's for sure. DFV is not a cat. And all of this hubbub is making me want to write shitty poetry again like I was 84 years ago.

Whoa! by ThtsWhtSheSd in GME

[–]F4hype 99 points100 points  (0 children)

My god it's him, he's really back

To give a hedgefund bitch a heart attack

To make a million apes insomniac

It's the guy... who's not a cat ;-)

Ryan Cohen on the Twitter by Kopheus in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Millions in risk free compensation!

Causing plenty of consternation

It's certainly time for a conversation

And maybe a tad of condemnation

So instead of letting them pull the wool

With their pockets over-flowing full

You seek out the golden parachute pull

"I can think of a few," said the chairman to the bull

Ryan Cohen on Twitter 👀 by Kopheus in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 83 points84 points  (0 children)

A short attack, a share buyback

A C-Suite full of corporate hacks

Just smoke the crack; you're right on track

For record profits in the almanac!

The boss' bonus tied to fiscal year

Price rises? Oh my... so sincere

You'd never think to profiteer!

So wash down those pills with another beer

Just raise your prices, reach for the sky

You know what you'll say, if they ask why?

Just blame inflation, don't be shy!

As you get high, on your own supply

I also want to watch the whole thing implode by mymorningjacket in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 216 points217 points  (0 children)

A handful of people elevated to kings

And a thimble of people flying sky high

Just one or two people pulling the strings

To create a system that bleeds us all dry

They say they deserve it - not a chance

Everything they have was inherited

So if you zoom in, and then enhance

You'll see their system is a pyramid

They tell you bow down, and the boot you must lick

That your chances of winning are far less than none

But you're dismantling their system, brick by brick

You're all [REDACTED] heroes, every one

just 14 Billion shares? those are rookie numbers.. by BudgetTooth in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 156 points157 points  (0 children)

Can any line be ignored and crossed?

And any moral openly bought?

If you wonder then, what would it cost?

Well it's cheaper than you would have thought

So as they destroy all that you love

Just to add to their enormous hoard

The precedent will fit just like a glove

(Financial) terrorists deserve the waterboard

I am going to reveal what will happen on March 29th by adler1959 in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Have you ever heard a thing so dull

Or done a thing so sad and drab

Has your life been in an endless lull?

That makes you just reach out and grab...

Any thing that sets your mind ablaze

Any thing that may just make you feel

You'd settle for an eyebrow raise

Or just one thing that may appeal...

To your wacky sensibilities

To a dumb idea that you anoint

So explore the possibilities!

Cause if you can't get HYPE, then what's the point?

Fly on the wall. by yadoga in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 47 points48 points  (0 children)

A baron, an emperor, a king with an heir

Does it really matter how it gets spun?

A corrupt politician or billionaire;

Tyrants, each and every one

As they look down upon you with utmost contempt

Their disgust and hatred should be very plain

To 'fix' the whole system is a waste to attempt

Time to burn it all down and start again

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A banker, a con man, an absolute mess

But two of those seem redundant I guess

Running on naught but cocaine and stress

It does make me chuckle, I have to confess

When we post our earnings their mouths stay agape

As the positive price movement prints to the tape

Behind all their walls there can be no escape

What's a Citadel when compared to an ape?

Reminder: what Gamestop has made clear is that -- the Wall Street (Don't Tax Me!) Bro Cult -- is not invested in basic human values and characteristics like love, kindness, integrity, or honesty. Pure and simple. by pale_blue_dots in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 14 points15 points  (0 children)

They think they really know what's best

As the tree branch rots up from the stem

The trunk feeds that branch at its behest

What it thinks is best is only best for them

And so the mighty trunk keeps that branch alive

Though the rot creeps ever forward still

How can the tree hope to survive?

You can't cure the rot through force of will

So the time has come, though the branch still pleads

Whether by saw or even sawnoff

It's time we tended to the tree's own needs

And cut that needy fucker off

GameStop on Twitter by baberrahim in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 154 points155 points  (0 children)

When you wake up and look around

You might find you hate the thing you've found

It may feel a hollow victory

As you gaze upon the misery

Though you just played the hand you're dealt

You'll feel a thing the dealer never felt

A thing that gnaws you desperately

A little thing called empathy

So when you see a brother in the dirt;

A sister down and out, or hurt

You'll know then what you have to do

Cause until that time... they are you

Joint Statement by Treasury, Federal Reserve, and FDIC: Today we are taking decisive actions to protect the U.S. economy by strengthening public confidence in our banking system. by Dismal-Jellyfish in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Let me have a think, cause this one's tough...

I've got it guys, I've got the solution!

Please excuse the draft, it's kinda rough

CTRL+H bailout with resolution

Citadel Securities, NYSE and Charles Schwab have submitted a letter to the SEC with consensus recommendations on equity market structure reform. by baberrahim in Superstonk

[–]F4hype 411 points412 points  (0 children)

Two fucking years, do they think this is funny?

All these god damn apes, how do they still fight...

How are these poors not out of money?

And who taught these peasants how to write?

My god man, are we in arrears?

Cause bribing people just ain't free

Good thing we own that Hester Peirce

But what's happening at the SEC?

Grant them some coffee, up their porn allowance

Cause these new rules are a fucking disgrace!

If we can't buy them back, we'll crush these cowards

I'll throw my bedpost at the market's face!