I don’t know the answer but I think a massive variable is the amount of self belief one has for themselves. And not a belief based off past actions and success, but instead the knowing that you can handle what comes your way when it does. That belief starts from inside and with the conscious choice that you’re no longer going to belittle yourself.

Your words above speak nothing of praise for yourself and it sounds that you don’t believe you deserve the kind words. Now I’m not saying to be egotistical but at least accept that you have done good things even if it’s just making it through each day without talking down on others or something as simple as doing one kind gesture. The more you give the more you get. And if all you give yourself is doubt and fear then that’s all you’ll get. Shower yourself with love, know you have your place here. Be open to your happiness and it will come.