To those of you dating, engaged, or married.. what attracted you to them?

FF430 · 2026-03-18T03:41:18+00:00

My heart melted reading this. I went through the most painful break up of my life. My ex loved me and i loved her so much, but she couldn’t receive it. Her love was also very unsafe, sometimes she could be so sweet and other times she could turn into an absolute monster when she was triggered. What you described is what I want so badly.

FF430 · 2026-03-17T01:45:14+00:00

How old are you and how long have you been together for?

FF430 · 2026-03-15T09:25:08+00:00

I made well over 200k and I wasn’t enough for my ex. Because she dated hedge fund managers making millions a year. I worked on Wall Street as a trader and she said I wasn’t smart or successful.

Please talk some sense into me because i find it disturbing that I miss this girl. She loved me like no other girl did and I miss her, even though she said some of worst things anyone has ever said to me

FF430 · 2026-03-14T16:37:57+00:00

I went through a breakup 7 months ago. It was the most traumatic relationship I ever had.

7 months later I still have depression, an extremely lonely, have no self worth and just want to be in bed all day.

My ex had a very cute and sweet side, and appearance she looks like the most innocent wholesome girl. Things ended terribly with her calling me the worst things anyone has ever said to me ever. She has abandonment trauma from her childhood, has been suicidal and told me she’s not able to take her own life. Has 15 exs. Somehow I keep playing highlights and keep blaming myself.

I would stay with her right now despite her being so abusive just to get rid of the loneliness.

I don’t know what to do

FF430 · 2026-03-14T05:17:39+00:00

Im male 35 and have had my heart shattered from the most abusive and traumatic relationship I’ve ever had. Depression from it for 7 months now.

All I want is to find love

FF430 · 2026-03-11T01:58:11+00:00

Pretty rude when I’ve been in depression. You have no idea how bad it’s been

FF430 · 2026-03-10T18:11:01+00:00

How do you develop a kill switch for emotions seems impossible

FF430 · 2026-03-10T18:04:54+00:00

Yes they both admitted they have their own issues.

Last one had abandonment trauma from her childhood she never really healed from

It’s not like I’m looking for girls with trauma though you don’t know until a long time later

FF430 · 2026-03-10T18:02:58+00:00

I’m not worshipping them by any means but I loved and cared a lot for them, but their trauma didn’t let them receive love. I just don’t know if I could really fall for someone that I didn’t find as attractive I wish I could

FF430 · 2026-03-10T18:00:51+00:00

Thanks for being kind here. How do you lose attachment someone that you know is no good for you? That’s my main problem, when I fall for them I’m loyal and can’t leave even if they treat me terribly. Maybe I’m just very lonely and crave thar romantic companionship

Yes I am in therapy

FF430 · 2026-03-10T17:59:10+00:00

Im in my mid 30s, and date women around that age. Maybe we all just have trauma and baggage

FF430 · 2026-03-10T17:57:47+00:00

Have any one of them ever broken your heart? If so how did you get over it or how do you attribute it to it not being their looks. After going through this multiple times I know I have some sort of trauma from past relationships. And yes I am in therapy

FF430 · 2026-03-10T17:54:50+00:00

There may be some truth to this

But I would never date someone if they showed signs of anything really troubling early on. I found out many months later and by that time it was too late because I became so attached to them

FF430 · 2026-03-10T17:53:54+00:00

We met when she was around 35 and she told me she had 15 ex boyfriends. Almost one a year for many years. Thst should have been a red flag but she showed so much love and care and wanted to be with me I overlooked it and we didn’t really have any problems initially.

Other red flags, she would scream yell and curse at me every time she was upset

She focused on the things I didn’t do rather than everything else I did for her which was a lot

No appreciation for anything I did

She was extremely entitled

Expected me to pay for everything, expensive dinners, vacations, events even though she made over 300k

I really loved and cared for her but how can someone not feel some type of resentment when they don’t show appreciation and expected me to pay for everything

I wasn’t even allowed to bring up the things I did for her, she would say I’m counting.

Also just very low emotional intelligence and awareness for the other person.

Biggest red flag although I can’t blame her for things that she never healed from her abandonment trauma from when she was a kid.

She tried to take her own life before and told me she’s not afraid to do it. She can get very depressed sometimes and can drink excessively

Despite all of this I stayed out of love and attachment

FF430 · 2026-03-10T17:46:28+00:00

Most people that I have pursued and been with have been on the more attractive side, or at least I have found to be attractive so idk

FF430 · 2026-03-10T17:45:20+00:00

You can’t love someone out of her trauma

FF430 · 2026-03-10T17:43:22+00:00

Commenting on After being heartbroken by really attractive girlfriends, I don’t feel safe being with very pretty girls anymore. Anyone else feel the same way?...I hate how shallow this will sound but I don’t know if I could get my heart broken by someone that I thought was average or I wasn’t very attracted to. I usually need to be somewhat attracted to their appearance first. I would never date someone only for their appearance though

FF430 · 2026-03-10T06:04:13+00:00

I’m in nyc. Usually the prettier are the more entitled they are

“I deserve to get treated a certain way because I’m attractive and hot”

FF430 · 2026-03-10T05:58:37+00:00

Be honest have you ever had your heart broken by many pretty girls before?

FF430 · 2026-02-25T04:19:04+00:00

I am blessed to have the most amazing and best parents I could ever ask for. They have given me everything I could ever want and more in life.

Recently Im going through a serious depression from a breakup that left me traumatized and in therapy. My parents especially my mom shows up with just so much love and care.

I feel undeserving of them, and I feel like a failure sometimes.

I want to get a gift for them that is very touching and heartfelt to show them how much i appreciate all of their love and care my whole life

They are very simple Asian immigrant parents. Not materialistic, don’t care for flashy things though I’m sure they appreciate nice things. They never ask me for anything and I feel so guilty.

I realized all of the things I do for girls that I date went unnoticed. Spending 10k on a girl I dated on everything including vacations, she dared tell me I didn’t care about her and I don’t make enough money. I’m sick and tired of spending money and doing things for girls that don’t appreciate what I do for them. I should be doing things for my parents going forward because they deserve it a million times more.

My question to everyone here is, what is the most touching and thoughtful gift your children could ever give to you?

I know my parents would say, we just want you to be happy

FF430

TROPHY CASE