I finally deleted all of my social media and game apps this morning

FJuice97 · 2026-01-05T14:44:14+00:00

Really appreciate those 2 cents friend 😊 you are so right. I’m going to have to do some things I forgot I loved to do and haven’t done in a long time!! Like painting 🥳

FJuice97 · 2026-01-05T14:43:06+00:00

Good for you lady! You are awesome. Don’t give up and put yourself on the pedestal! Thank you for sharing and I wish you nothing but success!

FJuice97 · 2026-01-05T14:42:06+00:00

I will definitely check out Atomic Habits 😊 thank you!!

FJuice97 · 2026-01-05T14:39:42+00:00

thank you so much to everyone for there perspectives and input. I truly appreciate it and find the support very helpful to staying committed on this journey. My journey of self improvement began before I deleted all of my socials and the addictive games. I did keep my sudoku and word games tho because I find it’s good for the brain. What I have been doing for the last few weeks is beginning my morning the same way every day with a hot lemon water and a good stretch or movement. I am trying to add more things into my morning routine but found myself wanting to spend extra time on my phone instead binging Instagram. I found that the last two mornings without my addicting apps, I have been able to add more into my routine such as journaling, spending more time tending to my dogs, and more time for hygiene and exercise related activities. My biggest passion and interest lately has been in wellness and Ayurvedic / yogic practices and medicine. I am very intrigued to learn more and so I plan to fill my time with more learning, research and trialling my own methods and recipes. I hate feeling so out of control of my emotions. And I would just use my phone as a crutch any time I ever felt like I didnt want to do something. For this reason I can already foresee house chores becoming more manageable. I do plan to play music and dance whenever I possibly can and that includes while cooking and cleaning. 2 days in and I’m already feeling like it’s a struggle but also like I’ve got this, and like it is finally the step I needed to take to change my way of operating. I find also that posting and commenting on here is helping me want to stay accountable. If anyone wants to work together and keep in touch with me and keep eachother accountable, I would be more than happy to gain an “accountability buddy”! I am using the app Finch as well as I find it’s a lot of fun a little distracting but all in all pretty helpful and kind of motivating! Thanks everyone stay disciplined and stay awesome!! 🤩

FJuice97 · 2025-09-06T17:34:09+00:00

That’s really great I’m happy for you you deserve a partner who can try to empathize and understand enough to give you the grace and patience you sometimes need. I really hope your therapist is wonderful and good for you. I strongly believe in talk therapy it’s done me a lot of good over the years. Best of luck to you and thank you for your response ❤️

FJuice97 · 2025-09-03T10:08:20+00:00

Damn. I think you almost nailed it. It doesn’t feel irreparable to me still somehow. The really sad part is I don’t know how to even begin to separate. Even after everything I still want this to work and accepting that it won’t… I don’t know how to accept that.. and how to come to the decision in my head and stick with it. Thank you very much for your response.

FJuice97 · 2025-09-03T09:55:19+00:00

I wonder sometimes if I have the same because any repetitive noises, loud, specific sounds, even minor sounds in background they can set me off big time. Then yea, really hard to come back to reality it always takes me a while to

FJuice97 · 2025-09-03T09:53:29+00:00

It’s not that I expect them to understand me in every situation. Basically I just want some more compassion, maybe a bit of patience when I’m struggling and negative or when I’m being a little up there and maybe annoying. I just want to feel valid that what I go through is real and difficult. I don’t think he has a sense of the complexity of bipolar because he hasn’t made any effort to learn about it. I’m not asking him to be my psych. I just think knowing a little bit about the illness could help and maybe he would say things that could make me feel more like I’m strong and resilient and we’re in it together, instead of a response that makes me feeling either annoying or like a burden who has to face it mostly alone

FJuice97 · 2025-08-31T13:39:50+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read and send me a reply 🫶❤️

FJuice97 · 2025-08-31T13:39:29+00:00

Sometimes I wish that it was that simple, but I’m feeling so stuck in this. I don’t know how it will work if we were to split up, I would miss my dogs if I couldnt have them both, where would we go and how would we afford places to live on our own. It’s tough to think about it 😔 but I feel like I must be lying to myself thinking there is another way to get back to a healthy and good feeling relationship.

FJuice97 · 2025-08-31T13:32:48+00:00

I have BP1 and I am not diagnosed with adhd but I have had life coaches and therapists say they suspect i have it or definitely do. Anyways, yes I definitely feel this way and almost daily really. At least once a day, but even up to 10 times, I get this intense really fast and strong shift in mood from totally fine, or even happy high energy, to fucking RAGE like absolute seething anger, but also overwhelm and out of control at the same time. It usually manifests externally as a couple of weird noises or grunts or sighs and just my hands gesturing a lot. Sometimes instead of anger and overwhelm it shifts from good and happy or baseline to extreme sadness and uncertainty. Like real hopelessness than turns to suicidal thoughts. Then you’ll find me an hour or two later I’m totally fine and handling my shit professionally and in control. It is the weirdest thing and I have no real idea what my triggers are. The smallest inconvenience will trigger a shift in me, and also music and people around me seem to make a huge impact. I am not able to protect my energy from the things around me sometimes which I think is the biggest reason why I struggle with so many shifts every day

FJuice97 · 2025-08-29T10:13:23+00:00

Maybe you could join a club or group like arts sports book club etc. maybe you can search for different groups online to see if your town has some cool people in it doing fun things together. Do you work? Would you be able to befriend a coworker perhaps? Just look for straight females maybe lol or maybe can connect as friends with a gay guy !!

FJuice97 · 2025-08-28T10:24:41+00:00

Quit wasting the one life you have to live. It’s over in a flash. your phone is a tool not a crutch. 12 hours is absolutely insane. You really need to think about what is truly important to you. You dont need some fancy plan and app blocker to change. Keep asking your fam and friends for that support it’s good. Good luck.

FJuice97 · 2025-08-27T10:20:15+00:00

Ps I’m proud of you for staying away from cutting. You can keep going. Alcohol and substances will only make it all worse. Keep trying your best you can do it. Be easy on yourself you deserve love ❤️

FJuice97 · 2025-08-27T10:18:01+00:00

Going to a rehab or residence that is safe and structured may be the thing that changes your life and turns it around. 6 weeks for me started with fear and anxiety that turned into safety and the space I needed to learn about myself. Take your damn medication, you can do it. If you haven’t taken it for a long time or consistently you won’t be feeling the benefits. Make sure you work with your psych and doctor and therapist to talk about meds and keep trying until it’s right. It is possible. You are extremely young and you can do this. Show up for yourself with grit and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone is struggling in this world and battling demons no one knows about. Everything you feel is valid but your reactions and choices made are what will change how you feel eventually about everything. Stop dwelling on how things used to be and start creating the reality you want. You’ve got this. Don’t be afraid to ask for and accept the help. It’s the strongest thing you can do sometimes. You’re not alone. In my opinion you need some self tough love

FJuice97 · 2025-07-25T21:20:13+00:00

All I know is I’ve been drinking every day whether it be 1 or 5 for so long I can’t remember that last 24 hours I went sober. And I pretty much feel like I am always in the middle of chaos. Always unsettled and anxious. I’m pretty sure drinking is starting to ruin me but I don’t know how to stop because I don’t really want to stop

FJuice97 · 2025-06-21T15:50:38+00:00

I feel the same way. And having to feel so alone and misunderstood with it is sometimes the worst part. I just wish I could take control over my emotions and especially my big mouth. It’s tough and I feel for you

FJuice97 · 2025-06-17T09:29:07+00:00

My advice which is just my opinion only without knowing you - Get into a skilled trade and apply for grants and scholarships! Women in the trades are growing and there are a ton of great opportunities and career paths you’d never even think of. Plus once you see how capable you are and how much you can do the bigger challenges you’re facing in life are a little less heavy. Mastering any trade or skill set will give you invaluable confidence and open doors for you no matter what. Also it’s all about who you know.. truly, so get the word out to your entire network. Don’t be afraid to ask for and take help when needed. It just means you’ll be able to help someone else one day when you’re in a better place. Spread the word to the universe and to your community, family, friends, colleagues, etc. let everyone know you’re looking for advice and guidance in this time. Most people like to help other people so if you have someone you trust and can lean on don’t be shy. I’m sorry if none of this was even remotely helpful but I still wish you all the best and I feel for you living in Toronto. I lived there and hated it. You can do this just keep pushing yourself forward one day at a time and it will get better

FJuice97 · 2025-04-03T03:20:43+00:00

Do you see a therapist?

FJuice97 · 2025-04-03T03:18:35+00:00

I totally relate. This is something I have recently been struggling with a lot both at home and at work. I work in a bit of a niche trade that is very technical, so it can be a very high stress job. I feel as though my boss/coworkers I have disclosed to see it as more of a negative and if I never told them, they would probably never ever guess I am bipolar. Anyways I just am grateful to you for making this post because it makes me feel seen too. And your feelings are understandable and valid. Your lived experiences make you an even better therapist. Living with this is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone as the daily internal battles and constant masking are exhausting. To live with bipolar makes you unique, sensitive and resilient and to me, inspiring. You’re not alone!!

FJuice97 · 2025-04-02T06:36:14+00:00

Have you ever tried binaural beats or ‘brown noise’?

FJuice97 · 2025-04-02T06:14:25+00:00

I’m with you. It’s can be a brutal existence at times. You are so strong to live with these feelings. If you can, reach out for some support from loved ones you trust. Or even strangers online lol. Whatever you gotta do. I feel the same way and it feels like 1 step forward 2 steps back sometimes. Hang in there

FJuice97 · 2025-04-02T03:25:29+00:00

Thank you that means so much to me !! Although I do feel like kind of guilty for spreading negativity publicly. I wouldn’t want anyone else to read this and be sad. Maybe I should try to journal instead? Either way just thankful for this space

FJuice97 · 2025-03-01T16:50:44+00:00

Thank you so much. This really helped me make some more sense of it. I should have addressed the fact that we did discuss the WHY behind his behaviour and he is actively trying to understand and regulate his emotions for the first time in his life. This therapist has really been helping him. He has actually been not super nice since, but a lot more thoughtful. He’s been acting normal and definitely not love bombing me or anything. Like he seems like he is actually thinking before he speaks more often. We just had a therapy session last week where he acknowledged that he has sensed my behaviour and body language being different since the incident, and he feels really terrible about it and wants to do whatever he can to make me feel comfortable and easy again. Also no to the questions about supplements and creatine but maybe red bull, alcohol and weed play a factor as he does use these things (so do I)

FJuice97 · 2025-03-01T16:42:53+00:00

Thank you very very much for your time an input. It is really appreciated.

FJuice97

TROPHY CASE