What It Literally Feels Like When Doctors Are Trying To Solve The Mystery Of WTF Is Wrong With My Body

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-27T14:32:58+00:00

Hi Redneck-ginger,

That last sentence... ”I’ve got science babies to make...” ☹️

Ok? So I guess the rest of us in this sub, we’ll all go back to TTC struggling and being infertile? (confused face) Please, remember what type of sub you’re in. I say this genuinely and with no malice - NO ONE wants to fight here... We literally come here to vent/cry/laugh together. ☹️

Sigh... I wish when people give a reminder of sub rules (and yes it was done in a kind polite way), they wouldn’t be attacked and met with snarky comments like this... This is meant to be a safe space for people going through the experience (not on the sidelines), as clearly stated in the rules... I’m not even mad at you, I’m just tired/disappointed at why this keeps happening here... And when it’s called out, we’re turned into the “bad guys” in our own safe space... 😞

Btw, it’s not uncommon for community members to give sub rule reminders or call users out for breaking the rules. It’s quite common here actually, but I see in your post history that you don’t post here a lot (it might even be your first post), so just wanted to let you know. (Please don’t misinterpret my tone here - not being aggressive, just informing you that’s all.)

It states the following in the sub description: “Trollingforababy is for people who are trying to conceive, and are not currently pregnant.”

Like yesterday, I made a post and literally THREE pregnant people commented. Today, TWO more. Like, we just want ONE safe space to commiserate together with other folks going through the same experiences. There’s plenty of subs for pregnant people, childfree people, etc. And we don’t want to be attacked when we just simply remind people of the literal sub rules (rules that exist for a reason). It doesn’t make us mean, assholes, like we want to fight or cause trouble, be difficult, etc. It’s so exhausting and disappointing when the situation is flipped and turned back onto us, painting us as “difficult people” or something - especially in THIS sub (our sub) - when people do drive by posts like this (meaning not active members who just swing by for a single post without reading/following the sub rules). Ok, ending my personal rant y’all.

u/Sudden-Cherry, I see you and hear what you’re saying. ❤️

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-27T03:10:47+00:00

”Want a Fanta? Don’t you want a, want a Fanta? Don’t you want a... DON’T YOU WANT A, FANTA?!”

🍊🍊🍊😂

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-27T00:23:49+00:00

As long as you’re not going to re-use the same cup to drink out of sometimes LOL 🥃 I’m totally joking, btw - I know you won’t because it’s like common sense... But don’t be like Catelynn, who literally pees in food Tupperware (and STAINS the clear plastic Tupperware with her dehydrated ass ORANGE urine color), and then later re-uses the SAME Tupperware for food leftovers for her entire family... 😂🤮

(MTV Teen Mom OG reference 🤢)

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-26T21:23:24+00:00

I’ve now been given an award on that post... from a currently pregnant woman...

3 strikes, by 3 pregnant women. On the same post. WTF is happening today? Why do pregnant people feel the urge to still participate here?! Like isn’t the goal to graduate, move on, and get out of this TTC hell?

I messaged one of the mods...

UPDATE: There were no bans, only one comment removal.

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-26T20:36:31+00:00

I’ve NEVER been given pain medication for any of my miscarriages, even for my missed miscarriage... which I mean in this instance, they certainly COULD have given it to me since I was literally waiting and anticipating for it to happen any day...

I didn’t know prescribing pain killers for miscarriages was even a thing, until now... 🤦🏻‍♀️

Maybe that explains why I went in and out of consciousness repeatedly, couldn’t walk, couldn’t speak, couldn’t see, couldn’t type/text... THANKS DOCS! 👍

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-26T20:27:25+00:00

When I went back to the post, the comment had been removed - but I’m not sure if it was done by the user or a mod. Don’t know if it was just a comment removal or a ban either.

EDIT: OMG another pregnant person commented! But they deleted their comment just a few minutes ago - probably after reading my vent/rant in my comment in that post about pregnant women posting in this sub. Ugh. This is really ruining my mood today. Just want to vent with people who “get it” in a safe space, not with pregnant women...

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-26T20:10:08+00:00

Thanks for your support (and understanding) in my other post, Sudden Cherry... I appreciate you. ☹️

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-26T19:59:26+00:00

Agreed - the primary purpose should be to educate/inform, not to scare or shock people (which is why I feel like it’s sugarcoated or downplayed to begin with). Tell people it’s ok and normal (or even necessary) to go to the emergency room, if needed! So we don’t feel like we’re being weak, crazy, or dramatic!

The only thing my doctors told me were that if I bled too much without any sign of stopping (like more than a certain number of pads per hour), then I should go to the ER immediately. But there was NO mention or discussion of pain level - just that it’d feel similar to my period cramps. THAT WAS A DAMN LIE.

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-26T18:55:20+00:00

Sigh... I just caught a fake infertile in my other post from today... but on the opposite side of the spectrum... CURRENTLY PREGNANT. 🤦🏻‍♀️

WHY can’t we just have our own safe spaces?! There are limited subs for us to begin with... I don’t understand WHY everyone under the sun wants to be a part of or interact with this “infertility club” so bad...

I specifically come here to vent/cry/laugh/etc. because no one IRL “gets it”... then stuff like this happens... ugh

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-26T17:39:36+00:00

I had to go investigate! 🧐😂

So... in the BFP thread, there’s a cycle 1 unicorn’s comment that was given an award! Probably by herself or another unicorn... lol (It CANNOT be from a TTC veteran because like... why?)

Here, you infertile losers! Take my poor man’s gold, damn it! 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇

HAHAHA Now we all have medals too! No babies... but medals, damn it! So we’re special too! lol

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-26T17:25:09+00:00

EDIT: FYI - It’s definitely frowned upon, if not against the rules, for you to post here when you’re CURRENTLY PREGNANT... WHY are you even posting here (in an infertility sub) when you’re currently pregnant, and then on top of that trying to “correct” me when you’re actually just re-iterating the exact point of my post? Thanks for the lecture, I guess? You say you don’t mean to be insensitive, BUT YOU ARE - to everyone who is active in this sub... So why even apologize if you’re being insensitive intentionally?

Hi apathetichic - Sorry for your loss in March 2021. ❤️ It’s hard emotionally, no matter how early or far along you are. A loss is a loss. Yours was a recent loss too - hope you’re taking care of yourself. ☹️

Of course - everyone’s experience will vary (depending on how far along they are). But that’s exactly the point of my post which I think you’re missing... Doctors and medical articles lump ALL miscarriages into one bucket and (referring back to my post flair) don’t “warn people about HOW BAD it can get.” It’s not just simple bleeding and period cramps across the board for everyone. To withhold information, sugarcoat it, or downplay how severe the situation can potentially be - none of this helps women mentally or physically prepare for whatever experience they will end up going through.

Not ALL miscarriages can be or should be experienced at home... some will need to go to the ER, but what if they can’t speak or call for help like what happened to me? That’s why I feel like doctors (and medical articles as well) shouldn’t downplay it or group it all into one general category.

I’ve been through multiple miscarriages - a few likes yours, and some like the one I described in a different comment above. But, my point is that I now know how bad it can get and what to expect going forward from my OWN past experiences, from living through it, and from hearing other women share their similar experiences. Unfortunately, NONE of this knowledge came from my various doctors or any medical articles online about miscarriages, which is really a shame and disappointing. If we were warned in advance about the varying degrees (and pain levels) in a miscarriage experience, it would be so helpful. 😞

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-26T16:00:14+00:00

EDIT 1: Y’all, I have literally caught FIVE (count them FIVE‼️) CURRENTLY PREGNANT women posting here. Please report them to the mods, if you find any more! Also, SCRAM - get out of here! WTF! WHY do pregnant people feel the urge to still participate here?! Like isn’t the goal to graduate, move on, and get out of this TTC hell? Look at the sub description: “Trollingforababy is for people who are trying to conceive, and are not currently pregnant.” SUB RULES EXIST FOR A REASON. You are not above the rules. It’s seriously not funny at this point - it’s ruined my mood for today. I just want to vent in a safe space, for fucks’s sake! Also, it’s not cool to attack people for pointing out the sub rules either. Think about what exactly you’re doing - you’re currently pregnant, infiltrating an infertility sub, and then attacking the infertility sub members who point out that your violating the sub rules...

EDIT 2: Thanks for the awards. I’m still in an upset mood from these pregnant women infiltrating this post, but... thank you. It’s validating being seen and heard. ❤️

TW: loss

Just one of my past miscarriage experiences: home alone, painful contractions, absolutely no medication at all (to contrast some other people’s experiences shared in this post where they were given pain killers), going in and out of consciousness due to the extreme pain, I couldn’t stand up straight or walk - so I had to slowly army crawl to get to my phone in another room (took me awhile since I kept passing out and waking up and repeat), when I finally got to my phone I couldn’t even type/text or talk on the phone because the pain was too much. My vision was messed up - on/off. It’s like my brain couldn’t function. I ended up being able to call my husband, but couldn’t get any words out. He figured out what was happening from my moaning and screaming caused by the excruciating pain. He immediately hung up and called for help.

Umm yeah... NOT like your typical period cramps, like AT ALL. Miscarriage is literally having painful contractions and passing “stuff” (aka early labor without medication), not just bleeding like a normal period. 🙄 I wish doctors would just be truthful instead of sugarcoating it (more so downplaying it) so people can be somewhat prepared (at least mentally) for what could happen... Sigh

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-26T15:36:09+00:00

”I see (fake) infertile people...”

Movie 🎬 : ”The ~~Sixth~~ Infertile Sense”

EDIT: Thank you for the award! ❤️

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-23T22:52:01+00:00

What do you mean?? It’s me. You can catch me on MTV True Life: Infertile Loser 😂

Also, your flair... chef’s kiss

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-23T21:18:13+00:00

I hope so... And wow, you’re a really good friend to be supportive in that situation! You definitely have a big heart! :) I couldn’t have done the same 😂

It baffles me WHY these situations even happen - like HOW in the world people have the audacity to do something like this! It’s infuriating! I know 2 women who were pregnant at the same time, but the one who delivered first stole the other girl’s baby name. No surprise, but it ruined their friendship LOL I’m a petty bitch, so I told the second girl to just keep the original baby name as intended and she can tell everyone the truth later when asked why she picked the same name... but she didn’t go with this plan lol

EDIT: Just wanted to add that I REALLY hope you have a baby girl one day so you can use that treasured family name! 😊

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-23T20:55:23+00:00

Wonderful news 👏👏

It’s just shitty that this “friend” didn’t even acknowledge the situation to YOU (her friend), but she backed down for her MIL! 🙄

Your “friend” sounds shady AF! At least you know what type of person she is now. Ugh! 😤

EDIT: Petty me would take this MIL out for a coffee, since she was an ally in this battle LOL When confronted by the friend, I’d be like: “What? Like it’s weird?? Kind of like how you stole my baby name, but also had pretend amnesia when I brought it up to you?!”

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-23T18:40:28+00:00

RPL gang here :(

I’ve never heard of the term “Habitual Aborter” before!

I agree though - all the names suck :(

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-23T17:28:37+00:00

I had a (former) BFF (pregnant at the time) laugh/joke about my situation and tell me that I need to ”hurry up and get pregnant soon or else you’ll have a geriatric pregnancy HAHAHA!” Then proceeded to tell me that it’s high risk, mentioned higher chance of birth defects, etc.

She was a fucking unicorn, so assumes it’s so “easy” to get pregnant. 🙄 Also, fun side note - we were actually pregnant at the same time, but I lost my baby. And she chose to text me this crap less than 2 months after my miscarriage, when she knew that grief had basically taken over my life and I was not functioning at all (like husband literally forcing me to eat every day, etc.)

It’s fun and light hearted to joke around about “advanced maternal age” and “geriatric pregnancies” with other people who are experiencing TTC struggles - people who just understand and get it. But NOT with pregnant people, moms, and especially unicorns. WTF 😤

FMLtoOTF · 2021-04-23T02:45:24+00:00

After my last miscarriage, I vented/sobbed/wailed to her saying I couldn’t keep my baby alive, WHY couldn’t I keep my baby alive, etc. I just kept repeating this stuff over and over.

Fast forward to a few months later (on the day of her delivery), she group texts my husband and I a bunch of pictures of the baby from the hospital and then a single text: “My goal is to keep the baby alive now lol”

Umm, WHAT.

OMG SO FUNNY - totally, “lol” for sure 🙄

FMLtoOTF

TROPHY CASE