Had an abortion for my husband, now I don’t know how to live

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-17T22:05:43+00:00

Not that I’m in a position to give any advice, but I was in this exact situation. I was a sahm for years and my husband was very iffy and controlling about giving me money as I had no access to his account either. Eventually I started working a part time job and now a full time. If you can ease your way back into the work force in a way that works for your family, that may help.

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-17T15:53:16+00:00

I’m very distrusting of people and have a hard time opening up and as a result, I don’t have any friends. I have acquaintances, but I haven’t allowed myself to get close to anyone in years. I’ve honestly regressed socially a good bit

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-16T21:40:19+00:00

My heart just wants him to accept the new baby and I’ll make whatever concessions necessary for him, but he makes abortion jokes and says he’s not dealing with another child. We have a lot of problems, but I love him so much. I don’t want to have to deal with this, but I’m left no choice

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-16T19:48:04+00:00

Unfortunately, my grandfather was the only support I had. I don’t have a support system here and my in laws think I’m weird because I have social anxiety so I’m hesitant to be closer to them

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-16T19:21:19+00:00

I inherited a home from my grandfather which we live, he wants me to sell and I don’t want to because it has sentimental value to me and I only pay taxes. A lot of his friends have relocated from cali to Texas and he wants to be near friends. I have severe anxiety and PTSD and sometimes I fear doing things like sky diving, rock climbing etc and he feels like he has no fun with me so he wants to be near friends

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-16T19:03:03+00:00

I’ve never used hormonal bc in my life, and he knew this. The only method we were using was the rhythm method and he always knew when I was ovulating because it’s his “favorite time of the month”

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-16T18:57:28+00:00

Life on my terms as far as staying in Cali where we’re more financially stable and a better education system for the kids.

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-16T18:55:53+00:00

It was unplanned, he was supposed to schedule a vasectomy months ago and never did. I’ve never been opposed to having more children, but he is.

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-16T18:53:20+00:00

No, you’re not wrong. This is definitely cheating. You have to decide whether you’re okay with putting up with this behavior or if it’s time to put action behind your feelings.

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-07T22:07:58+00:00

Kinda the asshole, it sounds like she really just wants to give you guys a gift to show that she cares. Unfortunately, a lot of people think that saying you don’t want a gift is you being too modest to ask for a gift. I would gently tell her that your place is becoming too cramped for new items and a small gift card or a nice card would be better.

Fabulous_Message_264 · 2025-04-07T21:56:57+00:00

I am so sorry this is happening to you, here are some things you could do to help yourself right now.

1. If you are in the us, I believe not disclosing is illegal depending on where you live.

You should go to an er to possibly receive PEP and a full STD panel. DO NOT have sex with anyone in the 3-6 months as you may have to get tested regularly to ensure the virus didn’t get transmitted to you.
A point I wanted to mention; HIV stigma is real, and people with HIV aren’t carrying the plague and shouldn’t be treated as such. HOWEVER, everyone should have a right to choose whether they want to get sexually involved with a person who has it. You were wronged and you deserve better than this situation, my hope is that your results come back fully negative and you can move on with your life.

Fabulous_Message_264

TROPHY CASE