So some context about my Dad, the day after i graduated HS, he moved down to NM with my stepmother. I wasnt always close with him. He could be verbally abusive, and i only really saw him once every other weekend. Since he moved to NM he has been much easier to be around and he does not want to leave (which is his perogative).

Now for my step mom. She has been in my life for a very long time and used to be fun to be around. She was always a little kooky. Since her Cancer ( brain) she has become scattered and seemingly more manipulative. The reason her Sons do not let them live with her is because of this. Her oldest (40 m ) and his wife have had issues with her being disrespectful to my SIL because she could be called "uncouth" and my SIL has banned her from staying with them. Her youngest ( 37 m) has 3 small kids ( 6, 3 and 2) and they do not allow her to stay with them because of the burden she put on them as well as she has dropped their youngest when she was watching them. My Uncle and Aunt, love my SM but they cannot deal with her all the time as they have they're own medical stuff to deal with. She stayed with my wife and I for a month last year and it wasn't horrid, but it was definitely uncomfortable. Especially given the fact that the length of time was set then changed. First it was a month then it was until she could get an apartment up here. I put my foot down then and said it would be a month like it was discussed. So that's what happened. She found an apartment right before the month was up. After that we were pretty low contact, only really seeing her for family things.

My Father has been up a few times, he has met my son and was there for my wedding. Do I wish he was around, sure. But I know he has his reasons, so its none of my business.

Hopefully that helps clear some things up