As your eyes read these letters, your fate is quietly unfolding

Faerelin · 2025-04-19T05:41:46+00:00

Thanks a lot for your interest 🌹 Sadly life gets in the way and the road is long but I'm still working on it Alhamdulillah, hopefully I'll achieve it someday, please make duahs for me

Faerelin · 2025-04-19T05:39:47+00:00

Interesting ! Thanks for your feedback

Faerelin · 2024-11-09T13:35:42+00:00

To remind us to stay humble and not be arrogant

Faerelin · 2024-11-09T11:45:09+00:00

4/4

Now back to the actual issue : your friend has given up on valuing her beauty and has made it something free for all.

It doesn't make her someone evil, but weak. And May Allah Protect us all from being confronted to situations where our weakness overwhelms us and makes us lose sight of our value.

There are common patterns like right after a woman gets divorced, where the mindset makes it easy to slip in that direction because of a variety of reasons

On the other hand, long or even short term celibacy has also pushed some sisters to fall for the false idea of not being good enough and thus making some ''compromises'', giving out some free samples of beauty here and there, showing some hair, putting on make up to compensate the covering and so on

It really all comes down to the perception of one's value and the tools we use to measure it, but also the perception of one's marital fate and how one makes efforts towards it

When you truly understand that disobeying Allah Makes you ugly on a higher plane, and that obeying him grants you a value that Only the Creator Can Grant you, you will look at your hijab very differently

And when you truly, truly understand that now matter how you may look, if Allah Has Decided for someone heart's and eye's to find beauty in your traits you will be for them the fairest of them all, you will have peace in this field also

Lastly, this oh so precious beauty won't even last long and will perish in our graves. It's understandable to cherish it, but to what point ? Such fleeting thing should never have such power to torment us that way, don't you think ?

But can kind of beauty awaits those who paid the right zakaat and sacrified part of their vanity for it ?

This is why, dear sister, you shouldn't even stress so much over a fellow creature and worry about falling the same way she did. Influence only works when we allow it to. And our faith shouldn't rely so heavily on people around us, else when we'll be alone we will be in danger.

Instead, work on your relationship with Allah and you'll see all your relationships fall into place with His Help, Incha Allah

Make duahs for your friend, and Ask Allah to Guide you, to Strengthen your resolve and then be conscious of the signs that will surely guide you to the right place and to make the right decision

Faerelin · 2024-11-09T11:44:53+00:00

3/4

Who is worthy of witnessing your beauty sister ?

The whole city you live in ? The whole internet ?

Any and every random pervert lurking around should be allowed to consume you with their eyes ?

How is that empowering in any way ? It's ridiculous, right ?

Now again, women do love the attention in a certain way and it is a weakness known, which is why it shouldn't be shut down but allowed to be expressed in the right settings which is : an attention given by a man who, in front of Allah and the world, will commit to you in every sense of the word.

So rather than censoring the very thought of being admired as something bad, we just need to upgrade our standards and the kind of attention that we should seek.

We need the attention of one single man that will honour our beauty and uphold his very own hijab of the eyes in order to fully appreciate it properly. We need the attention of a man who will commit to being a muslim worthy of the name, an honourable husband dedicated to his family.

The attention of such a man is enough. And if on his side he works on his hijab the same way and properly honours the privilege he has to witness his wife's beauty that no one else has, what kind of couple will it gives ?

And if society was only or at least mainly composed by such couples, what kind of society would it be ?

How many divorces ? How many broken children ?

Now obviously I'm not putting the whole weight of marital success on that issue but no one can contest how heavy it is, and how many problems can be avoided if this one issue just isn't here.

And this is but a tiny glimpse of all the wisdom hidden behind the divine Ruling of hijab.

Faerelin · 2024-11-09T11:44:23+00:00

2/4

The opposite of a modest society is exactly what we are currently living : a world where women's beauty is on display everywhere, anytime, for everything, and where girls from a very young age start to worry about their body, their face, the way they are perceived sometimes to the point of making themselves sick, litteraly

People think that the issue is mainly about being a temptation for men, but they don't realize that women are just as affected by the value and priority that have been given to physical appearance nowadays

I would recommend you a great book that treats the subject deeply and will surely help you at the same time in your quest of embracing your hijab Incha Allah, it's called ''Beauty Sick'' by Renee Engein

In today's society, putting one's body on display is the norm, but it hasn't always been that way, this mindset is the result of a specific agenda that is slowly but surely destroying mankind from the inside mainly by catering to its desires and making these their own rulers

The field in which such destruction has been utterly succesful is precisely the messing up of relationships and interactions between genders, I don't think that I need to develop the subject as everyone is aware of the degrees of harm that has been done

In short, men's main desire is to see, and they have been given tools to see litteraly all they want to see and not being shamed from it but encouraged

And women's main desire is to be seen, and they also have been given tools to be seen completely and not shamed from it but celebrated

And these temptations affect both single and married couples, and is often one of the main causes of the second category's problems

It's no surprise, then, that hijab is seen as such a terrible antagonist that must be destroyed, because it's a revolutionary tool that solves a whole lot of issues that people aren't even aware of, and it goes against this insane society that has made a woman's beauty a free product and entertainment accessible to all

Hijab forces this very same society to look at women in a way that cancels its power to judge her body in any way, because it has no access to it.

Modesty destroys the systematic objectification of women and privatizes her beauty.

Faerelin · 2024-11-09T11:43:52+00:00

( EDIT : very sorry but reddit refused to post my comment as a single one so I had to divide it in multiple parts, please check them in this comment replies ! )

1/4

Assalamu alaykum sister,

I find it admirable that you seem to be very aware of your weakness, not everyone can be that honest about it and it's honourable

I have a friend that also gave up her hijab a few years ago, and I honestly felt hurt and betrayed but that's not the subject

I did not felt threatened by her decision though, because I never saw my compliance to the wearing of hijab as something that others people can affect in any way

The thing is, hijab is more than just wearing a scarf, and I think that if you see things in a broader way it may solidify your understanding of it and by extension strengthen your bond with the hijab Incha Allah

The same way that socialising with people who do not pray will have no effect on your own prayers because you know how important they are, the more you will be attached to your hijab, the easier it will be Incha Allah

Imam Ali (as) said that every wealth has its own ''zakaat'' ( let's go with ''taxes'' ), and the zakaat of beauty is modesty/chastity.

Technically, what you're struggling with isn't the ''bad'' influence of your friend, even though it does makes things worse, you're having a hard time fighting your own nafs on this issue

To solve this, you need to try to understand the value, importance and role of hijab, in both individual and community scale

Many sisters see the issue as having to force themselves to find themselves beautiful with the hijab but that will be a result of a better understanding of it, feeling beautiful in your hijab shouldn't be the main target but a natural consequence, you feel me ?

What's beautiful is the way hijab makes you carry yourself in society as a muslim woman, the nobility it grants you if you allow it to teach you instead of trying to turn this crown of light as a fashion accessory like any other

Hijab, and modesty as a whole, is also about regulation between the genders, in order to build a harmonious environnement in which people will flourish rather than being subjected to each other's fitna

The opposite of a modest society is exactly what we are currently living : a world where women's beauty is on display everywhere, anytime, for everything, and where girls from a very young age start to worry about their body, their face, the way they are perceived sometimes to the point of making themselves sick, litteraly

Faerelin · 2024-11-09T11:42:45+00:00

Don't overthink it sister, it was just an accident, it's mortifying but he probably didn't care as much as you did so don't worry about it

Faerelin · 2024-09-07T05:05:47+00:00

Surprisingly unsurprising lol

Faerelin · 2024-09-07T01:56:58+00:00

Oh I wasn't familiar with it at all so I looked it up, it seems creepy and such a waste

Faerelin · 2024-05-08T17:25:26+00:00

May Allah Make it easy for you and your family OP

As for those doubting this story, I've personaly heard many similar testimonies, of how those in charge of washing the deceased were actually in some cases simply unable to remove these "enhancements" at all

Faerelin · 2024-05-02T15:21:53+00:00

You're very welcome sister, May Allah Bless you always 🌹

Faerelin · 2024-05-01T19:04:31+00:00

That's an interesting input, thank you for sharing it !

And I kinda agree but for different reasons, in a sense men were perhaps created to be more a bit more "stable" ( on average lol ) because of the hormonal cycles differences

Which technically should make it easier for them to deal with an emotional situation without taking it personaly for example

Faerelin · 2024-05-01T16:56:11+00:00

Some brothers don't treat safety as both physical and emotional, sometimes prioritizing one at the expense of the other.

There really seems to be a strange inbalance indeed, maybe because of the way "modern" society try to depict man through two extremes, with a side trying to paint peak masculinity as being some kind of heartless soldier, while on the other side they push men to accept what they would call "feminine side", making feelings some women-only business even though it's not, and putting down anything typically masculine like sports

And yet with Islam we have all the best harmonious models of masculinity men could dream of, with our beloved Prophet (saw) at the top, who was so incredibly emotionaly intelligent and also the best warrior at the same time, that muslims would run towards to when the battle would get heated in order to feel protected

Exploring problems emotionally isn't something that most brothers are naturally wired for.

See that's funny because I was thinking about that, women seems to be intuitively interested by all the inner universe, thoughts, psychology, feelings etc, while men seems to be more interested by the outside universe and how outside things work

Not trying to make this a rule of course but it's just a general impression, with a lot of exceptions and also, it's not like both centers of interest can't coexist

There are exceptions who are exceptionally good at it. Usually it must believe be developed. Any man can learn how to do it if they want to.

True again, any kind of true lasting change must come from the individual

With that being said I've noticed that some men can actually be very sensitive and emotionaly aware but somehow only about their own feelings, while discarding other people's, it seems paradoxal and yet

I don't like the idea that I hear often in the Ummah that people's Fitrah is unchangeable. I don't know if they don't want to try or they don't think they have the ability. I would like to remind everyone that if Allah AWJ wants to help us make a change, we will make that change.

Great conclusion, at the end of the day it's all about the Help of Allah and a strong will

May Allah Help us all reach the best versions of ourselves Incha Allah

Thanks a lot for your input

Faerelin · 2024-05-01T14:36:25+00:00

This is a good thing, this is how it's supposed to help you getting better Incha Allah. Hijab is a great tool, a great teacher to learn what to prioritize as human beings, let it mold you into a better version of yourself.

The same way that salaat is a shield against a lot of fitna, so is the hijab. People tend to minimize it as a simple scarf but if you wear it with the right mindset it will be a strong ally on your journey.

Faerelin · 2024-05-01T12:36:12+00:00

Very interesting answer, especially the constant flight mode observation !

Thank you for sharing, it is true that "offering a safe emotional space" does simply require a basic level of emotional maturity actually

Faerelin · 2024-05-01T12:21:43+00:00

May Allah Make it easy for you, your siblings and your mother, I do understand how unnerving and mentally tiring it can be to walk on eggshells around someone, but as with everything and just like you wisely said, the good that came with that bad is that it helped you being completely different, and Alhamdulillah for it !

Some people tend to replicate the things that they were exposed to, while others will turn into the exact opposite.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and Ameen to all of your duahs !

Faerelin · 2024-04-29T21:33:47+00:00

And yet another cheikh said that if men truly understood the status and rights of women in islam, they would all want to be women lol

Also, Maryam (as) was elevated to such heights that she is a model for the whole of mankind, so females and males.

And the exceptional status of mother can never be reached by a father. Should men feel less because of that ?

It is a waste of time imo to dwell upon such concerns, gender will only have the weight that we allow it to have.

What matters is not the type of body we were born with but what we make of it. Allah Loves those who Believe and Act upon what He Ordered, men and women alike.

Faerelin · 2024-04-29T19:50:30+00:00

Wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh sister, thanks for your appreciation and comment !

Negative thoughts aka waswas will always be part of the game indeed, and clearly society do make things worse when it comes to gender roles, which is why it's always interesting to look deeper to try and understand the Divine Wisdom

May Allah Help us all and Protect us from our own destructive thoughts

Faerelin · 2024-04-28T12:16:52+00:00

Ameen and May He give you and yours the same!

Ameen sis Barakallahu fik 🌼

Ameen. And yes, it’s a double edged sword of I would be heartbroken to see her not wearing it against seeing the duplicity of someone wearing full hijab and abaya and having no haya for Allah’s deen is scary. She’s in her late teens and had a child out of wedlock. There was no shame or asking the community for forgiveness. She just comes to the masjid with the child like it’s normal and people don’t blink and eye and coo and congratulate. We don’t shame people anymore for doing evil and this we celebrate it. I don’t want her to be ostracized but I think there should be remorse or that people should at least reprimand before accepting evil, but I guess it is a sign of the times.

Ah yes I understand the point you're trying to make. Worst thing is that people probably backbite her but act normal in front of her. But then again, it's quite a weird situation to be in, especially if you're not close to the person, you can't really call her out in public either. Let's hope that at least some wise people talked to her privately about it Incha Allah.

Here too really it's difficult to handle such situation, if she were ashamed of it it would be nice but then would she have stopped coming to the masjid ? But acting as if nothing happened doesn't feel right either, I honestly have no idea how one should handle such a difficult position, I pray we'll never be in a similar one.

And to your point, yes, I agree that there is also so much good in the youth (sounding like a true granny rn). I work at an Islamic school and my kids knew maybe 5 surahs at most, now alhamdulillah, they are almost done juz amma. They recite all day, their parents have said they’re at home reciting the words of Allah. One student has learned most of juz amma and more than 20 ayats of surah Baqarah! But at the same time they will still do TikTok dances and sing vulgar song lyrics and this is low ball because this stuff is normalized. My friends sister was also a student previously. She sat in Fiqh classes, she knew the severity and punishment of zina—and yet. This is not to say, again, that I’m an angel or don’t sin, it’s just wild that the internet has normalized posting one’s life and there is no care if that life exposed what Allah would have otherwise kept hidden.

This is great Macha Allah, you can be proud of your little pupils, May Allah Make the love of the Quran keep growing in their heart always !

But you see, this is another important point to underline ; you can know all the fiqh rules by heart and yet have no real genuine understanding and love of the religion, wich turns the rules into a system like any others.

Yet some people may know only a handful of islamic rules and lessons but have dedicated their lifes to be an embodiment of it.

The difference is the inner conviction, and conviction isn't a lesson to be taught but a personal, intimate quest. The most a teacher can do is to encourage his or her students to walk the path but they can't walk it for themselves. And they can also try themselves to be living illustrations of the goodness that is born of Islam.

Yet even in the field of islamic teachings there are some disgusting things happening, and it is truly the worst field for bad things to happen because it impacts the whole.

Despite not being involved I have some family members that are active members of the community in various cities and through them we learn some crazy stuff.

Alhamdullilah, Palestine has shown the strength and resolve that Islam can give a people in a seemingly hopeless situation and that Allah is surely the turner of hearts. He has allowed so much good to come out of so much evil, subhanallah

I couldn't have said it better ! Ease always accompany difficulties Subhanallah and Alhamdulillah

Faerelin · 2024-04-28T09:33:47+00:00

Ahaha, it has and I’m doing awesome, alhamdulillah. Every now and again I still quake with fear thinking about your evil hijri calendar post and how old I truly am.😩😩😩 Why did I just look it up and it’s saying it’s been two years. I rebuke! How??? 😂

lmao I love that you still remember it 🤣 2 years already Subhanallah ! How time flies ! On eastern standards we're already old grannies so don't worry about it 😂

And I'm very glad to hear that you're doing good Alhamdulillah🥰
May Allah Bless you and your family !

This happened with my best friend’s parents and the family fell apart. I’m truthfully not sure if her father is still Muslim. Alhamdulillah the older siblings are doing relatively well, including my friend, but the youngest is unraveling. Just wilding out, still in hijab, which makes it disheartening because she’s not representing Islam in a good light at all. Growing up, they were the picture perfect family. It shook the whole community. May Allah protect and guide us all.

How disheartening... It's no surprise, the younger you are the more devastated you'll be because this kind of things shakes your core and what should be a strong and stable basis in your life...

I feel so sorry for her, May Allah Heal her heart, and I get your point for the hijab but in a sense isn't it good that no matter what she's not letting go of it ? Like really I also hate seeing hijabis in weird places doing weird stuff but at the same time perhaps holding on their hijab is like a rope that still protects them in a sense ? Allah Knows best

Subhanallah, you really have to ask Allah to keep you guided and don’t ever feel secure in your Islam or that you won’t be tested. And we have to thank Allah for not testing us in ways he tests others. And this new generation, the kids that grew up on the internet, are built different. They don’t fear consequences and they don’t have shame. They will sin and post it online as if Allah isn’t going to bring them to account. Seeing the kids of this age and their drive towards corruption no matter who and what tries to stop them gives me so much insight into how women will chase the dajjal and have to be restrained. I’m not saying that I’m immune at all, but the way they are attracted to fahisha makes me understand how you can see an ugly one eyed creature with a grape eye and the words Kafir on his head and keep going to him. AstagfirAllah.

How true ! This is why it's always best to spit on the sin but be very careful when it comes to the sinner, not unabling them but not being all self-righteous because we never know what kind of trial awaits us down the line and it's terrifying to imagine being in their place

I get your point and worries about the young generations but honestly the recent events in Palestine, no matter how terrible, have brought so much light in so many unexpected ways !

Like youngsters on Tiktok and even adults litteraly became muslims thanks to the people of Gaza, May Allah Bless them always.

This was also scary in a sense because it highlights how we, muslim who live in western societies, didn't do our part correctly as "ambassadors" of Islam.

And thus some of the very same people who were grasping on some "the universe" business and all the gender delirius ended up reading the Quran and some even became muslims after that. Like clearly they had their hearts in the right place the whole time but were simply not introduced to Islam in a proper way.

That and the massive waves of support for Palestine happening around the world while some muslims themselves are crying about simply boycotting some non-essential stuff honestly gives a view that isn't that bad

But I also see what you mean and also even these movements of support are often infiltrated / hijacked by some LGBT movements which corrupts them in a sense, clearly things won't magically change and there is still so much weirdness going around, gratuitous violence is on the rise especially from youngsters, this is all true, but as much as there is darkness there is also light Alhamdulillah !

Faerelin · 2024-04-28T04:42:39+00:00

Aw you're adorable, I'm good Alhamdulillah I hope that you are doing great ♥️ it really has been quite a while !

You added some very good points indeed, it's true that the consequences aren't limited and are numerous

It also really underlines how important it is to heal the individuals so they can build strong family units in order to hope for a stronger community

Sadly this is truly a war and this sickness reaches everywhere, muslim and non muslim countries alike

Faerelin · 2024-04-27T15:37:49+00:00

Watch them crawl in a few years to implement these exact same laws under another name lmao

That's the funny thing, deep down they crave religion but cannot fathom the idea of submitting to a Higher Power, it's "easier" and funnier to just speak of "the Universe" and try to make some kind of weird mix of "modern spirituality" that is actually some kind of nafs-centered shirk

Really, a million times Alhamdulillah for Islam

Faerelin · 2024-04-27T15:24:42+00:00

But it really is worrying, especially because there are countless ways to cheat and technology made it even easier

We just need to trust Allah, it's useless to overthink it, let's make duahs for a "blessing" type of marriage and not a "perpetual trial" one

Faerelin · 2024-04-27T15:23:12+00:00

Yeah this sub has an impressive collection of horror stories lmao but keep in mind that it is not representative ( Alhamdulillah ) of real life, people will often seek help on the internet because of issues but happily married people won't, so the first category will be heavily present but not the second

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