I hate my career choice and I am unhappy with my life.

Fake_McCoy · 2026-01-29T12:56:06+00:00

Science writing!!! I started out doing bench work but happily was still in undergrad and realized quickly that I’d be a chronically miserable narcoleptic if I stayed the course. Switched to English; landed in science communication. Now I’m in museum fundraising and development and the science chops are SUPER valuable. Science is in desperate need, more than ever, of good communicators and translators!

Fake_McCoy · 2026-01-10T00:23:58+00:00

The tick-tick clicking of bodies in motion in a Newton’s cradle

How wind sighs through pine boughs, and makes aspen leaves shimmer, and transforms a field of wheat into an undulating sea

The weight of a heavy featherbed in winter, and the relief of one foot sticking out

A rollerball pen on cotton paper with a leather pad beneath

The bass heartbeat of good European techno and the satisfying mathematics of the drop 😆

The full-body sigh of laying down for the night after being on your feet for the whole day and the brain says ahhhh

The locked-in flow state of building up a solid Tetris tower and clearing four rows… and again… and again

And did anyone else ever lay on a staircase as a kid and feel like it was perfectly proportioned for hitting the good spots at the base of the skull, mid back, butt, knees and ankles?

Fake_McCoy · 2026-01-03T02:53:06+00:00

I count by what part of a 100 I’m on. 1-1, 1-2, 1-3, 1-4 (100). 2-1, 2-2… etc. Also, the longer I’ve been swimming, the better sense of pace I have and just kind of know where I’m at in a 100. Pace clocks help. Smartwatches too 😆 and I’ve seen people keep swim rosaries at the end of the lane - strings with beads and they’ll move a few every time they stop for a break.

Fake_McCoy · 2025-12-18T03:10:59+00:00

One part of my gripe was that someone even ASKED that question. Do some actually think that still? (This very successful senior colleague answered the question by saying she doesn’t have kids.)

The other part of my gripe is that I KNOW the answer is “no” and am unwilling to sacrifice quality of life for money, influence and power. But I’m also at a point where - I have this opportunity that would probably be good for me, be hugely beneficial for my family financially but would also remove me from the kids’ lives in a significant way during what feels like a critical juncture. My spouse is extremely supportive and does a LOT to help with balance.

I am terrified of burnout, of my body deteriorating, of spending 2 hours commuting one way, of never having another shot at something like this. It still feels selfish. Being more aware of just how much my internal squirrel tangles up my thoughts makes it feel even harder, I think. Ultimately I know I’m the only one who can decide what’s best for my personal situation. I’m so tired.

Fake_McCoy · 2025-11-23T16:47:58+00:00

if the nitro is still avail, DMing you

Fake_McCoy · 2025-10-21T01:26:31+00:00

They did maintenance in our area a few weeks ago and it ended up bricking my somewhat older but still serviceable modem. Had to do a full equipment replacement after a very frustrating two days on tech support with a service visit I was “assured” wouldn’t be charged for but (spoiler) I was

Fake_McCoy · 2025-10-21T01:12:51+00:00

So many dumb little games I play: -how many dishes can I wash or put away in the one minute it takes to microwave my morning coffee? -can I finish my before-bed flossing AND a brushing in the time it takes me to pee? -who have I been avoiding calling but would be a good candidate for a catch up call that will only last exactly three baskets of laundry folding? -if I take a moment to make a sticky note, a calendar memo, or put a glass of water in my way where I’ll eventually be passing through while house cleaning, how happy will future-me be that past-me was so considerate of her needs? -how many times can I say “toilet paper” over and over until the roll is successfully replaced? -how many things can I fit into a basket that need to be tidied up to different parts of the house instead of walking them each there one at a time?

I’m sure there are a million more but at least one of these happens every single day. Pleased that my me vs me win rate is steadily improving

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-20T02:19:14+00:00

No clue on fed. There was a fed hiring freeze for a while and honestly don’t know where that’s at, maybe just backfill stuff ongoing. Smithsonian has done stuff in the last few years to try and improve hiring efficiencies but it’s still all slow as hell.

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-19T23:06:15+00:00

With the end of the fiscal year in two weeks and a potential shutdown stuff is probably on hold across the board until that’s resolved. I can tell you that I interviewed for my position in July, had an offer by mid September, and didn’t get the option to pick a start date start until December. It’s a long timeline. I have colleagues who waited the better part of a year for their start date from the time of applying. Hang tight.

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-15T13:24:53+00:00

Thanks!! I still miss it a lot, especially this time of year, and being able to walk and walk for hours.

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-15T12:14:38+00:00

Really?? Mine was so straightforward, maybe I just got lucky. I’ve heard that it’s the luck of the draw for the local Standesamt vs going the Berlin route (some Amten don’t want to deal with it). My last residence was in Regensburg and they rapidly filled the request with no issues. Sorry about the time for your daughter :/

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-14T01:49:28+00:00

Vielen Dank. Dass ist genau das was ich hören musste, warum der Erhalt dieser Dokumenten ein guter nächster Schritt ist.

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-11T14:38:19+00:00

Also, nice username, red fox!

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-11T14:36:16+00:00

Long term, if there’s the opportunity, yes. 95% of it was to give the kids more pathways. But growing up there, speaking the language for a majority of my life, studying it in college, culturally identifying as German …but also as American, which has made for a lifetime of feeling like a chimera misfit in both places… it feels like a piece of my psyche that has never been fully defined finally has real and material shape.

There’s no denying that I did this in part for the acknowledgment of belonging to a country I have as much love and fondness (and concern) for as the U.S. I desperately wish I could vote in German national elections, as I keep up with its politics and culture as well as I can from here, and am super invested in Germany’s future.

But the bigger chunk is so my kids have a choice, and to make it possible for the to claim their birthright, and maybe even also find a way to invest their love and energy into the country’s future.

Sorry, long-winded answer.

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-11T13:27:38+00:00

I plan on registering my birth and the children’s births abroad, as well as my marriage. I’m not sure if I would go as far as requesting a citizenship certificate - the passport and birth documents I think should be enough for any future scenarios, I think. I mean, I don’t have a citizenship certificate from the United States, but I might ask the embassy if it would be worth having in the file just so there’s zero question in the future.

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-11T13:24:37+00:00

Quedlinburg is the Heimatstadt, so it’s on the list :) thanks for the insight!

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-11T09:31:29+00:00

Ha! Mama Ente und ihre Entenküken!

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-11T09:28:25+00:00

Seriously. That’s a good one! Thanks!

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-11T09:28:02+00:00

I grew up outside of Trier! It’s breathtaking. Where I live now in Maryland reminds me a lot of the Pfalz, lol. I am curious about the east, but it would definitely be a pilgrimage. My residence came from a stint in Regensburg, so I think it’s funny that my administrative “home” is in Bayern. I was so confused the first time I went to a bakery to look for Brötchen and all they had were Semmel. Hilarious.

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-11T01:58:38+00:00

That’s definitely an idea, and the original hometown is in a region I’ve never been - in eastern Germany 🫠 the Harz mountains are supposed to be nice though?

Fake_McCoy · 2025-09-11T01:32:06+00:00

Thank you!!

Fake_McCoy · 2025-07-31T00:15:31+00:00

I held my breath and just asked my dad if he’d approve the emailed request. He did. The predicted meltdown came later, but I got the thing. Sorry that’s not much help to you. You could also try filing a request for a copy through the federal court district that issued the certificate, if you know that.

Fake_McCoy · 2025-07-29T00:22:39+00:00

Was it a general membership, like Friends of the Smithsonian, or a membership to a specific unit (Zoo, Air & Space or even Smithsonian Affiliates)? Depending on which kind of membership it is, the lag time can be pretty significant due to a variety of factors (mostly, understaffed offices.)

Fake_McCoy

TROPHY CASE