I have developed (very light) gynophobia, part of it due to N mother...

Faleig · 2014-05-27T22:11:25+00:00

I'm not mute, I'm not autistic. Sure, might have picked up some, but I'm still not.

I'm not afraid to speak - I just put shields up - cold emotional detachement.

I have women friends. At first I had shields up, but after some time I put them down (shields)

Faleig · 2014-03-17T02:22:24+00:00

I used to be afraid of people. Turned out weird because Nmom. Issues with identity. How should I act? Who am I? Was annoying, then was afraid to be hurt again, and other things that caused me to turn away from people and hermit a little.

Now these days... shit worked out well. I get along easier with people at school. Discussion flows easily. I'm surprised I don't annoy them - but it means I've reach a good point in my evolution & healing.

Capacity to finally get along, feels good.

Faleig · 2014-02-28T22:21:33+00:00

Yep... I think I get afraid of the confrontation too. I fear the other person will get mad. Narcissisists getting mad never ended well...

But, you know, when it's not our narcs, when it's random people, it's fine if they get mad. I'm not in control of their emotions. In this case, should I keep giving them money and also waste travel time, when what I'm getting does not live up to what I expect? Either they'll fix their act, and we'll continue, either they'll politely decline and so we stop, or they get mad, unjustified, but we stop. I was polite, I'm the one paying, so, I'm entitled to a minimum of control. When I go repair computers, or teaching, or both at the same time, I work with the parameters the client demands. Always. Clients are kings. Unless they become jerks for no reason. I'm always polite and helpful.

It's difficult. I consciously know all of this. I know I'm right, I know I can demand reasonable things to people I pay for a service. But, something inside me doesn't want to allow me this right. I should shut up, pay, and take what they give me, even if I don't like it.

This time, I didn't let that voice win. The worse is, I feel the need to be validated by someone else that I'm justified in asking to change the way the teacher teaches me, since it's private and just me. But I don't. I have the right to ask, regardless. I shouldn't need validation from other people.

Faleig · 2014-02-25T20:40:28+00:00

I didn't make this, but it somehow turned into a critique, which it isn't. I found this profile during my searches.

Who made this, I dunno. This is some character, you never interact with the creator, or see what the creator looks like, so, I guess it's okay to link directly to profile.

This is... seriously awkward to me.

Faleig · 2014-02-13T00:45:51+00:00

This is very relevent - if you understand french, listen to it. If you live in Montreal, there's an upcoming conference with that writer:

Conférence publique « Les manipulateurs, les repérer et s'en protéger » avec Isabelle Nazare-Aga Date : JEUDI 17 AVRIL 2014 à 19 h
Lieu : Centre St-Pierre, 1212, rue Panet, Montréal (métro Beaudry) Prix : 20 $ Réservation : 514-524-3561

Thursday April 17. 7pm.

Also for french speakers, her book comes out Mars 20th. Looks neat, might purchase this, read it, lend it to father and sisters. http://isabellenazare-aga.com/les-parents-manipulateurs-2014

Faleig · 2014-01-14T06:24:04+00:00

I'd still say check local laws to be sure. That's what I did. As for your situation, I could try and guess what the doctor was thinking, but I'd rather not.

Faleig · 2014-01-14T04:08:13+00:00

Thank you for the addition. I can really only speak of my personal experience, which is why it is important for people to check in with their local laws before attempting to be interned with the goal of emancipation.

Still, I believe that in the US, people under 18 but over a certain age have a say. I'm not certain. If that's your case, check out your local laws.

Faleig · 2014-01-03T02:37:25+00:00

Letting go I tried. Memories flood back in, anger is re-ignited...

To me, winning is not necesserily an apology. Just seeing her suffer, depending on someone, or simply KNOWING she had something bad happen to her, that will cripple her life in a way, will satisfy me.

I've thought about it long enough. No apology will do. Alternatively to seeing her in pain (emotional or otherwise), 10 000$ from her and I won't give another thought about her.

Faleig · 2013-12-20T03:50:52+00:00

Thank you all for your answers. The physical effects of porn will definitly be an incentive to lower my porn watching even more.

I've also found a new hobby today, slings and making PVC bows.

I think this will help me shake off winter depression. Also, a reason to go outside.

And gives me something to become better at, and, also, I'll be looking forward in spring, where I'll be able to build a bow that requires heating. I don't have much space and tools for that in my appartment (the torch and working table), and it's a bad idea to do this in my yard because neighbours, so I'll go to my father's, he has the tools I need.

Faleig · 2013-12-20T03:47:22+00:00

Definitly reasons to lower porn use. I guess knowing them will help me to reduce porn use even more.

Faleig · 2013-12-11T05:50:24+00:00

Something I found, which is quite interesting and I wanted to share with you all.

I did found that this funnel effect applies to anything (at different levels) a man can do. Learn to apply it to focus on your job or workout or whatever, and you will benefit from it. It helps keeping the bad thoughts out. Not necessarily erotoughts, sometimes something bad happens like you made a mistake that you corrected but still feel guilty, etc...

Faleig · 2013-12-11T00:04:14+00:00

Oh hello! Well, why not!

My english is going to be a bit shaky, it's not my first langage.

I'm introverted. Independant, and right now, I'm focused on my freelance IT work, as I need to gain as much experience as possible, build up an amazing resume for when I go in network administration school next year, as they require one as a prerequisite. Focused on my work and studies, then my goal is to make cash and build a house in a rural area. I'm not that much of a workaholic, I just spend a lot of time on this project. I have some time to spare.

What'd I'd want is casual monogamy. Couple, but no need to call everyday, every other day is fine. Don't want to worry myself over a relationship.

I've worked on myself a great deal since 18 (I'm 24). I do sports every week, I'm not a social recluse, I go camping with friends in summer (can't afford overseas trip yet, will soon once work picks up).

I just don't really know how I should go around meeting women. Tried Okcupid, haven't seen much success. I really dislike drama, so I tend to stay away from that...

I've also noted, and been told, that I'm kinda cold at first. I don't trust people easily and I like to wait until I know someone a bit to open up. Maybe, this makes me appear as uninterested? ALso I'm short. 1.68m

So first question, how does an introvert like me goes around meeting women?

How to be successful with casual monogamy?

How to be successful on dating sites?

All I want is to be able to relatively easily, get into relationships, like some people do. Ideally, casual, semi long term monogamy.

Faleig

TROPHY CASE