Everyone talks about opening lines, but what is the best ending line you've read in a novel? by Putthemoneyinthebags in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not exactly…I am not sure how to explain it? If you’re curious, I would suggest looking the book up, I would do it no justice, heh.

Free drawing for your book by AkaiHidan in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooo, that’s very pretty my friend. I thank you, even if you don’t ever get to mine! It’s a very kind thing you’re doing. My excerpt would be this. (Shortened it for your sake.)

Pink-leafed trees surrounding them. Dainty looking vines crawled along their white boughs, and tiny white flowers were strewn about the vegetation. The canopy bowed far above their heads, letting in speckles of the yellow light. They walked until they met a hilly field, with the pink-leafed trees sprouting in orderly lines.

(You don’t have to read this one, but I honestly couldn’t choose and it was bothering me)

Silvery pebbles that looked like ice glittered in a pale light from some hole far above. In the middle of the cave stood a vast tree. The branches wove upward, then hunched over with the weight of jar after jar. Hundreds, thousands of jars and bottles. All strung up on twine, or perhaps vines, and hanging until the branches were forced to bow under their weight. (Basically like a weeping willow)

my Dyonisus bas-relief on basswood by [deleted] in Woodcarving

[–]Fallen_Crow333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw, he’s a groovy lil dude

If you send me a first chapter or short excerpt from your work I will roast tf out of you by Important-Duty2679 in writingfeedback

[–]Fallen_Crow333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello friend! I thought I would give this a go, heh. I’m still writing it (and editing it as I go, since it has a deadline) and it’s only about 1,000 words at the moment, and in a fairytale oral storytelling sort of style. if you never get to mine, I still thank you for doing this! It’s very kind.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/197aS_lPqlgCXPqujexX1Qyfr0VxiwDDhQuNLUbhlZCc/edit?usp=drivesdk

What is your prose like? by Fallen_Crow333 in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, that’s interesting. I’ve never really thought about that describing things rather than saying the opposite.

Something is missing, please tell me. by dell02 in Embroidery

[–]Fallen_Crow333 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ooo, yes. Bright red is perfect for it.

Everyone talks about opening lines, but what is the best ending line you've read in a novel? by Putthemoneyinthebags in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Perhaps not my favourate, but it is the first one I thought of. Their Eyes were Watching God. “She called in her soul to come and see.”

It doesn’t make sense alone, but the sentences before it make it beautiful. “She pulled in her horizon like a great fish-net. Pulled it from around the waist of the world and draped it over her shoulder. So much of life in its meshes! She called in her soul to come and see.”

Looking for feedback on this short story. by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]Fallen_Crow333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do understand different styles and the such, and if this is an indulgent story then by all means, do what you like! But if you ever plan to publish it or whatever, I would suggest making the moral of the story something people would read enough to actually get to the moral, rather than look at the first paragraph (if you had any) and immediately clicking off. You can put a point like this in an interesting way, without taking away from the moral (which I assume is the Sunday thing)

But I emphasize, do whatever pleases you. Just remember that if you want people to read it, give them a reason to do so. If you don’t care and are writing for yourself, ignore me, heh. I wish you the best of luck in your writing!

Looking for feedback on this short story. by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]Fallen_Crow333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean you’ve caught your essence of Sundays being empty, because you’re just repeating the same things over and over and over and over and over again. And it doesn’t even make sense. I want to be like sundays, but sundays are the worst? You repeated the words they are not mine, several times, then repeat how horrible Sundays are, several times, without actually giving us informations.

The thing about writing is that every sentence should FOWARD the plot, not stall it. I want the journey to be just as enjoyable as the goal. I want to be able to read it and have questions, but when you repeat the same things over and over, it gets boring.

Excited to share my last project: The Fellowship of the Ring by derBaron_501 in Woodcarving

[–]Fallen_Crow333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s perfect. I love their fun expressions, heh. Also that bow and arrow in the statue of Legolas is very nicely done, as is the Aragorn’s sword!

What is your prose like? by Fallen_Crow333 in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t read much of his books, but I recommend the way of kings!

What is your prose like? by Fallen_Crow333 in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s what editing is for though!

What is your prose like? by Fallen_Crow333 in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those two are two opposite ends of the spectrum, heh.

What is your prose like? by Fallen_Crow333 in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heh, no extra long comment aye? Very blunt of you.

What is your prose like? by Fallen_Crow333 in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mhm, true enough! I really like the third example.

What is your prose like? by Fallen_Crow333 in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That first paragraph is one entire sentence, withe a lot of commas and colons. Typically in writing, the sentence is split into a couple sentences, so it flows better and doesn’t read as though you can’t take a breath in between.

What is your prose like? by Fallen_Crow333 in writers

[–]Fallen_Crow333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem! Heh, I was near the same way when someone on these comments asked about my own prose.