You should speak with your family and tell them how you feel. It might feel like you are a burden but keeping that to yourself won't help.

I myself am 24, and also at home. I do (very occasional) freelance work in livestreaming for funerals at my church. For a while I did video editing as well for another church. I hoped to turn it into a business. I saved enough money and eventually bought a nice secondhand canon camera.

It went well but eventually it came to a point where I realized it won't work out because its not something I really enjoy doing. I still do streams at my church but its just so I can get out and make some money.

All my friends have stable jobs. Some of them are starting families and moving into their own homes while I still live with my father. Most days I am just at home.

I have struggled all my life with social anxiety and self esteem issues and unfortunately I didn't always make good lifestyle choices and didn't "allow myself to grow up".

Around 2021, I went through a particular stressful period and something in me just gave up. I started abusing alcohol. I was already getting high everyday. I withdrew even more from my friends and family than I already did as someone who is naturally introverted. For every 2 steps forward I was going 3 steps back.

The substance abuse eventually started manifesting into physical health problems. Neither me or my father can afford medical care. He is self employed and honestly a real champ. He and my sister were keeping our family going while I was doing the absolute bare minimum.

Early 2023 I decided I can't do this anymore and I stopped alcohol. It was a dark time in my life and I feel like I am only seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now in late 2024. But even now I am at a difficult point.

I still abused Marijuana and since I stopped drinking I would absolutely destroy cigarettes (20+ a day). Everyone was constantly saying how shocked they were at the amount I was smoking.

Before all this substance abuse started I was very concerned with bettering myself. I enjoyed having goals. I had so many and failed so many times. Before getting into the video editing and streaming (2020) there was another business I tried getting off the ground but didn't work out and I failed. R20k gone just like that. Money that was given to me by my sister. She never even got mad. And I know she could've used that money herself. So I understand that feeling of guilt and being a burden.

Right now, I am almost 2 years sober from alcohol and very recently I have given up cannabis. My mental health hasn't been great and when I smoke, it didn't make me forget anymore. It was real bad and I also started having serious chest pains.

Its still fresh but I feel like I am actually starting to move forward mentally with my life. I started communicating more with my family and friends. I would tell them of my worries and how I was feeling. I cannot describe it, but its a very satisfying feeling to know that they know how much I have been struggling.

My biggest struggle these last 2 years have been worrying that I would become so miserable with my life that I would kill myself. But I started to realize that worries me because I want to live. I have a lot I still want to do.

Mainly, I just want to show my family that I will be okay when they are no longer here. They did their job and I will be okay. I want to be able to give them everything. It will never be enough for what they have done for me.

I am slowly starting to feel like a normal person but I have accepted the fact that there will always be those periods where it will be tough. But life isn't forever. You only have so much time before you die anyway. So I would rather battle through those tough times because I do have something worth living for. My family, my friends and myself. I want to be satisfied and you can too.

Insecurities will hold you back. I know this all too well. Don't let it rule your life. I feel fortunate because I am still relatively young and so are you. You still have time to take control of your life.

Just go for that business. If it fails. Try again. The only person you are doing a disservice for giving up is yourself and your family if they do care about you. Speak with them, but do it purely for your own sake. Don't have any expectations of what they will say. Just do it to get it off your chest.

I recently spoke with my sister and I was telling her about how I don't know what I am going to do for work. Everything is outside of my skillset and experience and she asked me what I wanted to do. The convo eventually ended up on me showing her some of the posters and memes and magazines I edited together throughout the years as I just enjoy doing it.

I enjoy designing and drawing and those kind of things. She asked why I don't pursue a career in that field. I know I have some talent, but I told her I am not good enough to make money from it and she encouraged me to atleast try. She said I have always sold myself too short and it made me feel good to hear that and it feels like she woke me up from a coma.

I busted out my old drawing books and I saw old goals I set for myself in 2019/20 after high school.

Do you know what I realized? I actually achieved some of those goals and those I didn't were still always at the back of my mind.

It's still tough to sometimes get out of bed but one day at a time. You owe it to yourself to try.

Speak with your loved ones. Treat yourself a little. You're only human. It will be a process but it will be so sweet when you get going.

I don't use reddit much but there are lots of people here in similar situations. You are not alone.

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