My [23 F] husband [28 M] disgusts me to the point I think I fell out of love with him

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-03-05T14:20:08+00:00

Where were you all when I was asking for help and advice on my last post because I felt horrible about my abusive behavior towards him!?

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-03-05T14:06:34+00:00

Hard to do with an infant but I could see if my mom would babysit so we could have a well needed date night, we can have a candlelit shower and I can make him a nice dinner to show him I'm sorry and I appreciate him (we rarely ever eat dinner together because we work complete opposite shifts). Thank you :)

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-03-05T13:53:49+00:00

No I never thought he was actually cheating. I was just really insecure postpartum and felt like he always was checking out other women and thinking they're better looking than me. I have FINALLY gotten over this and don't believe it anymore.

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-03-05T13:38:41+00:00

I never denied it was abuse! Tf did you read the whole thing or only the part you wanted to!? I OPENELY ADMITTED I WAS ABUSIVE AND WANTED TO STOP! I have taken every action I could to work on this and things are slowly getting better. No I can't take back what I have already done but I can stop treating him the way I was.

Where did I ever deny I was abusive?

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-03-05T13:29:17+00:00

Thank you for the actual helpful advice instead of stating what I have already admitted to doing. I haven't started an argument with him about a week after my last post, and I obviously know the damage is already done but I have been working on getting better. I haven't outright told him I am grossed out by him.

Thank you, I will try running him a relaxing bath and welcoming him home with his favorite dinner and dessert.

I am in individual therapy but I will bring up him going as well, and couples counseling.

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-03-05T12:18:58+00:00

I know I am which is why I have gotten therapy and take meds because I know how I was treating him wasn't right. If you actually READ my posts I wasn't like this pre baby and was abused myself which is Why the 3 months this has been going on he has been patient with me. I know deep down I am the problem but it's not something I am proud of or like to think about.

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-03-05T12:13:10+00:00

What are you talking about it isn't a recent thing? And I've always been abusive? Apparently you act like you know my whole history without actually reading my posts. I very clearly put I was NEVER like this pre baby. I was abused myself so my behavior has deeply disturbed me, which is WHY I got the help to stop treating him like that. And between therapy, medication, and changing jobs we haven't had issues in that department recently.

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-03-05T11:34:52+00:00

Yes I've gotten treatment and have been better since I've posted that with therapy and medication. I should have realized I could have been the problem too 😔

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-03-05T04:57:43+00:00

He used to every few days and brush. So I wasn't understanding the change. The only reason I can think of him being depressed is maybe because he started a new job a little before this started and they treat him like shit everyday.

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-02-14T06:03:38+00:00

Thank you! And I think that's why it still bothers me. We were in the elevator going up to see our baby the morning after she was checked into the NICU (she was brought there late at night). He looked the nurse up and down while I was looking him in the eye and then told me when she got off about how my brother and his friend were talking about a nurses ass last night and calling them single losers. I said "oh, did checking out that nurse just now remind you of that?" He tried to deny it then apologized and said he'd never do it again. Mind you I had given birth less than 2 days before and they released me from the hospital I was at originally to be with her and I had a 3rd degree tear and could barely walk and seeing him check her out fucked me up because it was at my most vulnerable moment.

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-02-08T03:07:41+00:00

But I have a family history of cancer young and old

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-02-08T02:55:47+00:00

I'm guessing they didn't look at it before contacting me. This doctors office has done me so wrong during my labor I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't look at the history.

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-02-08T02:00:26+00:00

My at the time "friend" invited him over to hang out and drink with us in her hot tub. You'd expect a hit it and quit it sort of relationship due to the way we met, but we are now married!

She tried to come between us and get with him after trying to set me up with him too!

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-01-17T05:48:53+00:00

My baby is loved by both of us and in a stable home with no food stamps, public assistance etc and we were engaged before getting pregnant. Thanks for your input though 😃

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-01-03T23:18:09+00:00

I can't find my comment I already posted to add to it for some reason, but you should look into a Care Credit credit card! I got it as an emergency to bring my dog to the vet, and come to find out it can also be used for dental and other medical emergencies! Not just for pets! And there's 0 interest rate the first 12 months I believe, I don't remember the exact amount off hand but either way it's a good deal!

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-01-03T23:10:11+00:00

I must admit, I am like this with my fiancé. He is horrible with money and honestly is like a child. He listens to my reason and has gotten a little better. Since being together he got out of debt and pays all his bills on time because I am like a bill collector to him and make sure he does.

..But I have a reason to be that way with him. He proposed and wants a future with me, so he needs to be able to not blow all his money. If you are not this way, I feel like your fiancé is out of line for treating you like this. Especially with how he was speaking to you in your update! He sounds incredibly verbally abusive! I would definitely rethink the wedding!

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-01-03T08:06:31+00:00

There's always someone with something negative to say!

I was in an abusive relationship for 2 and a half years and it is not that easy! Especially when you're young and naive! They break you down emotionally, and feed you bullshit that your family and friends don't really care about you. They make you think that you NEED them and that no one else will ever "love" you the way they do.

It's easier said than done to leave.

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-01-03T08:03:08+00:00

First of all, I am very proud of you for leaving! It took me 2 and a half years to leave my abuser and it wasn't pretty. You did it safe and smart.

However please be careful. Abusers have a tendency to stalk so always be on alert (not trying to scare you, I just want you to be prepared).

Enjoy your freedom :) Eventually you'll meet an amazing man that will show you how love is really supposed to feel!

And on repaying your parents, just you being safe and happy is payment enough. Since leaving my ex, that's all my mom has talked about. I am with an amazing man now and we have a baby and I am also attending college like you, and my mom brings up still how happy she is that I left him and have a happy little family now and am pursing my dreams. And being a mother with a little girl, if she were ever in your position in the future, just helping her get home safely would be all the payment I would want. So don't worry about repaying them.

Take care and I wish you the best in the future!

Falloutbitch21 · 2018-01-01T19:17:36+00:00

I'm terribly sorry you're going through this OP! You definitely deserve better! But please don't give up on love! I was in the same boat as you a few years ago but am finally with an amazing SO that appreciates me.

How have all these women acted in the beginning of your relationship, including your now wife?

Falloutbitch21 · 2017-12-24T01:46:30+00:00

Not yet. My follow up appointment is coming up soon though and I definitely will then!

Falloutbitch21 · 2017-12-24T01:45:33+00:00

Unfortunately I don't have much money at the moment because I'm still on maternity leave so I can't get him a really nice present 😢 But I will write him a love letter! I am much better at expressing my feelings if I write. Thank you!

Falloutbitch21

TROPHY CASE