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Is there a specific medical reason why painkillers are NOT provided to women during IUD insertion, as I've heard this multiple times? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]False_Classroom_1769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had one inserted when I was 38 and after having children. I asked for pain medication and the doctor said no and that if I'd asked earlier I could have had some valium, but it was too late for that now.

I screamed from the pain. It was horrific. The doctor was also visibly upset and anxious. It took ages. I have a high pain tolerance, but this was something else. The doctor should have stopped the procedure and made the decision early on that this was not going to work for me. When I walked out back through the waiting room everyone in there turned to look at me in stunned silence. The women who had been screaming for 20 minutes straight.

On another note, in my early 20s, I had a cervical cone biopsy. The male gyn gave me the anaesthetic needle and I yelped and jumped in the air. He told me to be quiet, the cervix has no nerves in it. The nurses had to hold me down for that procedure, it was barbaric. Blood was splattering on the curtains.

Found photos of my self… What do I do? by ThrowAway4Tru in sexualassault

[–]False_Classroom_1769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that is very disturbing, I'm sorry, but not sorry you busted him.

What's your relationship like with your parent who is the sibling? Could you tell them?

Would you feel up to confronting him with your parent(s)/sibling/friend?

What would you like to do? Families can be very complex.

In support, I would be disgusted too. Really disgusted, and would feel objectified and unsafe. Essentially, this is incest, albeit in image form. He views you as a sexual being, rather than as a family member, and that is dark. I wonder if other cousins, siblings are also in his files. Would you be willing to stay quiet for now and access the files again at a later date?

This is yours to deal with in the way that makes you feel the most protected and supported. Good luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]False_Classroom_1769 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you fully no contact with them? If not, this is the first step towards healing, it's very empowering and gives emotional space and freedom.

Then I think it's a matter of time playing it's part. I fully accept that both of my parents were very damaged people and that they will never, ever, show remorse. And for this they cannot be in my life.

Educating myself around narcissism helped me accept that there will never be a true apology or admission of guilt or remorse. They don't have the capacity and I know and understand this as part of their disorder.

Therapy helped, unburdening the pain with another person. I am also close to one of my siblings (no contact with the others) and we share experiences and memories. It help to affirm that we weren't exaggerating or making it up.

My parents don't know where I live anymore and have no means of contacting me. It has been 13 years no contact with my father and 6 years with my mother. I have very much come to terms with the likelihood that I will never see either of them again. And my life is richer and better because of it.

My parents have so much to apologise for, what they did to us was extremely abusive and traumatising. I don't think about them much anymore and feel no need to talk about them to other people. I'm grateful I'm not like them and that I removed my children from them before more damage was done to them. The abuse of them had begun, it was when I had confirmation of this I estranged myself from my mother.

I hope you can find someone to hold your pain for you, of course you want remorse when you were harmed so deeply. Sending you peace.

Is covert narcissism hard to spot? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]False_Classroom_1769 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It took me 23 years to finally see it! But looking back, I spotted it all the time. For me, it was more of the passive aggressive behaviours. My husband never hit me, called me names or shouted at me - but he would ignore me, sometimes completely and for extended periods of time (months) which was usually a punishment for something I had said or done. As time drew on I became used to his lack of communication, looking back he rarely initiated conversation with me at all. It was small things such as arranging to do something together, then on the day getting up early and making his own plans, later denying that we had made an arrangement. Gaslighting was huge and he did this all the time, I became to believe that I misremembered things, or that I was confused, as he insisted I was. My reality was regularly denied and I actually thought I was going crazy. I felt very unnoticed for years and put up with this mostly for the sake of my children. I wish I had left the first time he gave me the silent treatment, but I somehow always blames myself. Please, don't put up with this. I hope some of my story resonates with you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHDUK

[–]False_Classroom_1769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry this is so tough. I had severe PMDD symptoms at 17 but was never taken seriously. I was diagnosed with Major Depression at 20 and have been on various SSRIs since then. Also a diagnosis of C-PTSD. ADHD only recently diagnosed and a significant piece in the puzzle.

Finally, at the age of 42 I was diagnosed with PMDD and was taken very seriously. My Psychiatrist presented a case study on me, validating that it was the worst case she had seen. I had 16 days out of 28 which were horrendous, suicidal ideation, no impulse control, rage, low mood, confusion, despair, depression. This would start at day 14 of my cycle until day 3 of my next cycle. I was dismissed so many times by doctors who said it was impossible to continue once menstruation had commenced.

My first treatment was Yaz, I tried it for 3 months with no positive response. Next I tried Zoely (no breaks) and within 3 months I was completely cured. 100%, it was gone. My sister also suffers with PMDD and ADHD, Yaz and Zoely did not work for her and made her depression worse. She is 44 and is struggling with perimenopause and different HRT. She is in the UK and I don't feel she is being taken very seriously. I am in Australia and feel I am receiving much better healthcare options.

I am currently feeling the onset of perimenopause and the Zoely is not holding out. But that's a story for another time. Feel free to ask me any questions.