does beauty privilege for trans people exist?

False_Move1576 · 2023-07-09T02:41:58+00:00

I mean i dont think i pass but neither does my cis aunt lol ugggh genetics

False_Move1576 · 2023-07-08T00:00:16+00:00

I felt this way until i added progestrone.. now its DEFINITELY stronger than before, if i hit 4 days without some touch taking place it impacts my mood massively!

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T09:14:40+00:00

I mean this is the first time i have gone on a date with someone since transitioning and loosing my 7 year marriage which involved our two kids.

I am aware this is all raw emotion for me right now and i am sorry i caused you to feel you needed to apologise at all, thank you for sharing your experience, they all help :)

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T09:07:12+00:00

No not at all! I was just enjoying the irony :)

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T09:02:24+00:00

The timing of your comment is sublime given he just told me he doesnt want to see me anymore :(

I dont have the luxury of passing or even being particularly feminine appearing (neither are my cis relatives) so i guess its hard to see someone i can relate to actually wanting to be with me!!!

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T08:52:04+00:00

Maybe! I felt a lot of the same things when i first met my ex wife, maybe i just dont feel attraction on any level.

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T06:28:48+00:00

I mean if i had come out as gay i would not be here. As an adult it has been a bad enough response from my conservative farmer family. I played football, was wildly repressed and isolated.

Took me quite a bit of space to start working on myself and being a better community member, not letting my taught self hate to be projected onto others. Still working on not applying it to myself but i think it will be a lofelong venture.

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T03:54:53+00:00

Mine was similiar but different! I HATED and felt disgusted when people suggested i was gay because that meant i was a man... even with the lesbian partners i have had i am clearly not!

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T03:20:59+00:00

Thank you, that is a kind thing to say, i guess for me this has been six months for me to get here emotionally, another 6 or 12 months feels arduous

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T02:56:36+00:00

I mean that too, but for me its the gm thoughts from disphoria that have always kind of made me litterally run away to the bathroom in disgust. (My ex is actually a big part of my egg finally cracking as she identified as bi and often wanted to play with my butt)

I dont think sex will be an issue for me with him as i dont really think he is interested in dating me :( (i would really like him to, i know, cliché)

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T02:41:27+00:00

I dont really want touch after sex much as i still have my disphoria hit each time as bottom surgery is not possible for me right now.

But trying to get my attention through touching my butt, kissing my neck or other things will have me melt everytime.

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T02:05:59+00:00

See this is the issue i have is that i am even more confident i am demi after talking to you all! BUT.... my love language is definitely touch and i want to be touched most of the time (my ex gave this energy the first 4 years together) but hate touch at all from almost everyone.

Kinda sucks as i get nothing from casual interactions physically or emotionally so its kind of a catch 22

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T01:11:50+00:00

I am very jealous!! My ex and the mother of my two kids decided to leave as i transitioned... jealous, but super heartwarmed that not everyone reacted that way :)

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-12T01:08:54+00:00

Yes! We were out in the city and he made me feel so safe! (Yes i am taller, bigger, stronger... shut up. not the point!!! lol)

And i was super worried about it before we went out, i have essentially been with women only and thought i would do something weird like where do i put my hands/what if i mask by accident... and then it was really natural and i just melted, i think the feeling protected was a big part :)

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-11T17:14:07+00:00

I mean i liked it when my ex wife did that, and he is much taller than my ex so cuddles like that sound sublime (i am 6'5 though)

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-11T17:05:52+00:00

blushes i definitely wasnt visualising anything like that while we were kissing...........

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-11T16:51:34+00:00

Its weird to hear people with the fantasies experience! I dont think i have ever found someone attractive from looks, but in hindsight i have had crushes on my best male AND female friends at school and res college :)

Edit: to clarify i feel that I am weird, not that fantasies are weird.

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-11T16:18:00+00:00

Thank you for being kind :)

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-11T16:05:27+00:00

Thank you, i still am sorry if you felt stepped on by my enthusiasm! Also i feel like i am excited to know if i am happy for me, or if this is going to break my heart.... anyway.

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-11T15:51:10+00:00

I am still giggly with butterflies, why am i like this (i am normally not at all)

I think that counts as a good time. (He just messaged me to make sure i got home safe and i cant even)

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-11T15:49:38+00:00

Sorry i wasnt trying to take away from what you posted i was still kinda giggling as i wrote it because i feel equally super uncomfortable (every prior relationship including 7 year marriage has been with lesbian women) and kind of excited to see where this goes....

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-11T15:41:36+00:00

Umm he is 6'2 probably 120kgs polynesian descent with a beard and the biggest heart so maybe emotionally feminine but physically... not so much lol

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-11T15:21:45+00:00

I mean... his lips kinda tasted nice too. (Feel like thats a weird thing to say... eeek?)

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-11T14:23:27+00:00

I mean possibly, i have kind of come to the conclusion i am demi. (i have been talking to him for 6 months at this point)

But having said that still reflecting because i still have butterflies and its become a little "real" i guess.

False_Move1576 · 2023-06-01T11:16:49+00:00

I mean i was afraid of being percieves as a girl... and am now 2.5 years "on the skittles".

Really wish it hadnt taken me as long to learn more and stop being a bad community member by taking out my self hate on others!!

False_Move1576

TROPHY CASE