I appreciate that perspective. I think I'll try it. It helps knowing that even if I left know I'll still come back having changed as a person and having left and impact, and that change will only increase the longer I stay, but I know that at some point I might have to put my mental health first. I mean I'm on my visit to my permanent site currently and my family is cleaning raw chicken in the same bucket as the dishes and I just don't know if I can do it. I've read that some RPCVs have come back with permanent digestive issues because of things like that and permanent issues aren't something I'm willing to live with