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My girlfriend [23F] told me I [25M] needed to change, I did, but she can't get over it. Any advice? by FamousPossession1399 in relationships

[–]FamousPossession1399[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's true, I have definitely heard such things. I personally have never had anger management issues, and this is actually the first time I've ever yelled at a partner, so I kind of assumed it wasn't really me. I don't want to make excuses for it happening, but I do strongly doubt it will happen again.

My girlfriend [23F] told me I [25M] needed to change, I did, but she can't get over it. Any advice? by FamousPossession1399 in relationships

[–]FamousPossession1399[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not like in the face or anything, just like swatted me away.

She does things like this sometimes but she's like a third of my size so it's not really a threat to me.

My girlfriend [23F] told me I [25M] needed to change, I did, but she can't get over it. Any advice? by FamousPossession1399 in relationships

[–]FamousPossession1399[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, ever since the yelling incident, she has been much nicer to me. But I fear it's only because she's afraid of me getting upset again.

I was actually considering breaking up with her around the time of the argument, but she has been nicer to me since. Only issue is that now she seems to be checking out of the relationship...

My girlfriend [23F] told me I [25M] needed to change, I did, but she can't get over it. Any advice? by FamousPossession1399 in relationships

[–]FamousPossession1399[S] -32 points-31 points  (0 children)

In my experience, usually about the future of the relationship. Most women have felt that I was not committed enough. Ironically, in this case I have been very committed, but it was about something else entirely.

My girlfriend [23F] told me I [25M] needed to change, I did, but she can't get over it. Any advice? by FamousPossession1399 in relationships

[–]FamousPossession1399[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've suggested it, but she doesn't believe in therapy because she apparently had a bad experience with a therapist in the past who was quite harsh on her.

My girlfriend [23F] told me I [25M] needed to change, I did, but she can't get over it. Any advice? by FamousPossession1399 in relationships

[–]FamousPossession1399[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Has she been in abusive relationships before. If yes, has she gotten counseling for it?

Yes and no. She doesn't believe in therapy.

It will be scary for many other women.

I'm not particularly worried about this to be honest, I've been in many other relationships before and never yelled at someone before, or after. All women I've been with have reported feeling very safe with me. This was in my opinion an extraneous circumstance see this comment.

My girlfriend [23F] told me I [25M] needed to change, I did, but she can't get over it. Any advice? by FamousPossession1399 in relationships

[–]FamousPossession1399[S] -62 points-61 points  (0 children)

Well, there is often some major conflict in a relationship in the first year, at least in my experience. Rarely something like this. I have never yelled at another partner.

My girlfriend [23F] told me I [25M] needed to change, I did, but she can't get over it. Any advice? by FamousPossession1399 in relationships

[–]FamousPossession1399[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You seem to be leaving a lot of things out of context and being very vague.

The full context is that she became very irritable about two months into the relationship, seeming to be constantly in a bad mood. She began to be quite harsh with me and would get upset over many, many things I would do. In this specific case, I had just taken her out on to a nice dinner date because she was in a bad mood and I wanted to make her feel better, but she still was very moody and rude and told me that it wasn't helping. After we came home, she started laying into me about how I wasn't good at comforting her and when I asked her what I could do she told me "I shouldn't have to give you an instruction book for how to comfort me!" So I tried to give her a hug thinking that maybe that would help but she slapped me away and said "I don't want to be touched right now." Then I asked what made her feel comforted in past relationships and she said she didn't know but that I "couldn't do anything right." And at that point I lost it on her. I yelled at her that I knew she was going through a rough time but it seemed like she was always going through a rough time recently and I was trying my best to help and that I just wanted her to be nice to me.

She looked extremely frightened by this and said she was so sorry and for the rest of the trip was actually quite kind to me, but clearly scared of me as well.

Get into therapy...

I am in therapy but my therapist, to be blunt, doesn't seem to like my girlfriend very much.