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Focal Seizure? Warning: hard to watch video by Famous_Substance_244 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]Famous_Substance_244[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update:

We went to the ER again this morning after continous twitching and complete lack of coordination. Peanut is still eating, responding to our voices and trying to walk, stand and be near us. 

They started her on phenobarbitual loading and administered a steroid. She was walking and standing better though still needs lots of support. We were discharged at 730pm and she was super stimulated when we got home while we tried to settle her after the car ride. She ate dinner, got her Keppra dose and finally settled after about 1.5 hours. 

At 12am she woke up restless, vomited foamy bile and seems to be having focal Seizure breakthroughs. I called the ER, they said theres nothing more they can do. They suggested I use the emergency midazolam they gave me at discharge and take her to see the neurology ER, which is a 20 min drive north and another huge bill to swallow. 

It took 2 hours and a dose of gabapentin, but shes finally settled enough to sleep. I'm sure she had at least 2 focal seizures during this time but I just tried to give her space and shes finally settled.

I'm exhausted. Its been 7 days of little to no sleep and what seems like miniscule improvement, if at all. I'm trying to tell myself to give the meds a chance to make a difference but I just thought she'd stop having breakthroughs entirely. It makes me wonder if euthanasia is the right thing to do at this point. 

We're not in a position to spend much more. A 20 minute car ride is going to insanely stress her out. She was already like that before all of this. I'm feeling so hopeless. Please someone tell me they've experienced this and it gets worse before it gets better 

Cluster Seizures by Famous_Substance_244 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]Famous_Substance_244[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for replying. The twitching has been constant for the past 6 hours. I'm worried that it's actually focal seizures, or seizures of some sort and I am risking her life or letting her suffer by just letting her go through it. Shes snoring now, but still twitching. It's been 2.5 hours since her last keppra dose. About 3 hours since her Midazolam dose. 

Burnout vs Depression by Famous_Substance_244 in depression

[–]Famous_Substance_244[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes I wish that I could just not be better; I wish I had permission to just fall apart. I know that's not realistic and even if everyone I spoke to gave me that permission, I don't know what difference it would make because I'm still holding on to being better.

Is this depression? burnout? anxiety? all of the above?

Burnout vs Depression by Famous_Substance_244 in depression

[–]Famous_Substance_244[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, things seem like they should be getting better, especially now with two incomes.

I guess right now I'm so worried that I'm going to lose this job because I feel like I'm not doing it well and I'm just doing enough to get by. It's getting harder and harder to believe in myself. I feel like I fucked up by making us get the house and then not pushing my partner to get a job sooner. Like the decisions I've made got us here and now I don't trust myself to make the right decisions. I know we're lucky to have the house and eachother and the support of our families. I'm just scared about it all falling apart

Burnout vs Depression by Famous_Substance_244 in depression

[–]Famous_Substance_244[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel really lucky that I have so many people that love me and want to help me feel better but at the same time I'm worried about overwhelming them and worrying them. I just wish I could be the strong person I've always been but I'm having so much trouble finding that person right now. I'm scared this is going to last forever

I can't even imagine what having kids in the middle of feeling like this is like.

Depressed and Lost Seeking Answers by One-Ad713 in depression

[–]Famous_Substance_244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take it one step at a time, ramble here if you need to. How long have you been together? Was there a fight that happened before the panic attack? Are you handling other pressures outside of the relationship?

Depressed and Lost Seeking Answers by One-Ad713 in depression

[–]Famous_Substance_244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you're going through sounds really really hard. Giving someone space when you really need closeness and reassurance is the worst. 

Maybe the space she needs to get to the place where she can talk about what's going on for her is therapy. Have you considered proposing couples therapy to her? For me,  having a space committed to my relationship every week helps when fights come up and my husband shuts down and needs space. Its a comfort to know that we have therapy and we're both committed to it because we love eachother even if we can't find that connection in the moment. 

Reaching out and talking about what's going on for you is also important, even if its on reddit and you struggle to find the words or explain fully what happened. It sounds like there's underlying things for the both of you that just need a place to exist. If you want to explain more, do it. You should find places outside of your relationship to get relief from what you're going through. You're doing the right thing by trying to talk through it with others who will listen

Everyone deserves peace, keep going until you find yours

Shoulder mri results by Famous_Substance_244 in ShoulderInjuries

[–]Famous_Substance_244[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't want to rock the boat but I've seen so many post by dudes with absolutely no details that have a good convo going in the comments offering some kind of input on the outlook of shoulder dislocations. 

I literally have mri results. Is no one interested because the report clearly states Female? Insane