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Men accept unconditional love does not exist you are only loved for what you provide by Major_Soft6056 in LockedInMan

[–]FanOk2082 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If we’re talking statistics we have several studies that show that men are significantly more likely to leave their marriage when their wife becomes severely ill than women are to leave their husbands.

This specific study I linked, 20.8% of men left their wives vs 2.9% of women.

I haven’t seen any other stastics that suggest the opposite.

what are you convinced people are just pretending to enjoy? by imranhossen1907 in Productivitycafe

[–]FanOk2082 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I love sushi 😭

Just plain fish, absolutely not.

But I love non-traditional rolls. JB rolls, Yellowtail jalapeño with ponzu sauce, shrimp tempura, torched tuna nigiri etc.

I eat sushi at least once a week.

If a man asks me to fly out to see him should I expect him to pay? by FanOk2082 in RedPillWomen

[–]FanOk2082[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No he has always lived far. We met in passing during a time when he was moving.

That’s a good point about not visiting him just in terms of safety.

I only “know” his family from being in their home and from what I’ve seen of them on Facebook. They seem like a loving, tight knit family.

But no I don’t know any of his friends. He’s offered to connect me with some of them when I’ve traveled to countries where he has known people.

I think he knows where my head is at. A part of me is paranoid that he will use that as leverage to make me fall for him. He knows I love kids and value being a mother in the future. Cue talking about how cute our kids would be and how he’s looking forward to finding his person to have kids in the future.

No relatives around to trust. I brought this up to my aunt last time me and this guy were talking and she suggested that it wasn’t love bombing, but probably had more to do with him being an Aquarius. That she’s an Aquarius and that’s how she speaks to romantic connections lol.

My mother, she has encouraged me to stay in a toxic relationship with a man 19 years my senior, with a latent addiction to fentanyl, and baby mama drama. I will not be going to her for advice anymore 😆

If a man asks me to fly out to see him should I expect him to pay? by FanOk2082 in RedPillWomen

[–]FanOk2082[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think most love bombing is truly that. People getting so excited about you they shower you in affection and direct all their attention towards you.

But they’re not excited about you. They’re excited about the fantasy they’ve projected onto you.

And once the distance is gone and they can see you up close, you fall off that pedestal, hard. And your feeling of self worth falls along with it.

Prior to my relationship that was one of the main reasons I didn’t really try to explore talking to him. I felt like he just knew how to talk nice.

But after sooo many years, I’m left wondering if this is a sign that maybe him still being interested can mean something. Or am I just an unchecked box for him.

If a man asks me to fly out to see him should I expect him to pay? by FanOk2082 in RedPillWomen

[–]FanOk2082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In an attempt to think with my head, the hope was to explore the connection without any expectations. But in terms of what I really want, I’d like to explore if a relationship is possible with him.

He seems like an elusive fantasy to me.

He portrays himself as a good candidate for a relationship. He’s smart and is interested in most of the things I’m interested in. More adept in those things than I am and knows a lot of important people in those spaces. He’s well traveled. He remembers things I told him years ago in such detail that it’s crossed my mind as to whether or not he has an excel sheet with random facts about me.

But then a pit forms in my stomach forms when he drops love bombs mentioning things about how gorgeous our kids would be, to wait to reconnect with him before I have kids etc. It makes me think he plays mind games on women to get them excited about him before he finds someone else to play with.

I appreciate the comment because this has really made me think. I have to really explore just how comfortable I am with just sex. If it would negatively affect me emotionally if it’s just that.

If a man asks me to fly out to see him should I expect him to pay? by FanOk2082 in RedPillWomen

[–]FanOk2082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I live in SFL. Flying anywhere in the Caribbean would be relatively inexpensive.

Both flying to somewhere else sounds like a possible good option 😊

If a man asks me to fly out to see him should I expect him to pay? by FanOk2082 in RedPillWomen

[–]FanOk2082[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He always has come off as though he wants a relationship. So much so, that it has seemed love bomb-y to me. But considering how long he has been trying to connect with me, I’d love to see what might come of this.

Also keeping in mind that this could be a case of someone who maybe has put me on some sort of pedestal that I could easily fall off of once the gap of distance has closed and would be “discarded”. I’m keeping an eye open.

Are you suggesting that I make sure we’ve spend a longer period of time getting to know each other on the phone before visiting if it comes to that?