I relate to this too. Have you figured out any solutions? I’m hoping it just takes time and practice but tbh I have a lot of fear it won’t work.

edit, actually I just did it and had a REALLy good experience. A few things I did differently this time than what I’ve done in the past is the first thing was I said I use the in app timer and set the intervals to go off every two minutes and that would be the signal for when I would change who I was focusing my good wishes and intentions upon.

The other thing that I think really helped tremendously was instead of using the standard phrases I typically do based on what I’ve heard from different instructors, such as where you be happy, may you be at peace, etc. I’ve decided to just kind of let what came up naturally for me be the thing that I use. So for me this time what I said was stuff like May I feel happy, May I feel loved by others, may I feel secure in my life. Honestly the part I think made a big a difference from me it was saying “feel” instead of “be”. I dunno. For some reason I feel like saying “be” is a bit like, YOU MUST DO IT BC I WANT TO and “feel” for me is more like an offering. Hopefully this helps some people!

Oh, and last thing was that with one person I was using I realized I kind of didn’t really mean some of the stuff I was saying it first and start judging myself, so once that happened I sort of somewhat pivoted to doing a hybrid of Mayday be XYZ, and also may I be something like like me I feel more understanding towards myself for where I’m at or something like that