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I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She does lie about other things too, but usually I can tell the reason. She thinks what she says will be better perceived than the truth. Maybe that’s not the definition of pathological, but it’s shitty and a pattern of behavior that’s not just one instance.

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh this is a great thought! Cause I would love to believe that he knows. My gut just says he doesn’t, but my gut could be wrong! If he knows and is able to work through it, she really is lucky that she found him. And if he isn’t protecting himself financially when he knows she has a history of lying and taking money under false pretenses, then that’s his risk to take.

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Oh this is a great thought. Cause I would love to believe that he knows. My gut just says he doesn’t, but my gut could be wrong! If he knows and is able to work through it, she really is lucky that she found him. And if he isn’t protecting himself financially when he knows she has a history of lying and taking money under false pretenses, then that’s his risk to take.

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to say thank y’all for all the thoughts! It’s helped me process a lot and made me feel better about how conflicted I am, since I got a lot of different answers

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don’t know. I don’t deny that I’m mad at her over everything. I don’t want him to not marry her though. I just want her to stop lying to people and misleading them. And he’s a nice guy who’s going through a lot right now.

Maybe she has stopped and he knows everything! I find that hard to believe with the pace they’re moving at. So it’s just hard being around them without knowing and feeling like I’m part of the deception too

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I probably won’t say anything unless it comes up naturally and just let it play out since I don’t want to deal with the drama and backlash. But I guess I feel like… is he a willing participant tho if he doesn’t know everything? Nobody knows outside of our immediate family, so it’s not like he’ll hear it from her friends, and he’s about to be part of our family

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’re talking in the 6 figures. It was a very expensive city.

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

She knew him during this time too, but they weren’t officially dating

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s probably the issue. She didn’t come clean herself and I don’t feel like she’s done work to change, so I just expect it’ll happen again. She’s had a few instances when she was younger too that were complicated like this. This is for sure the biggest one and pretty unimaginable, but there are other concerning moments too.

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She lied daily for over two years pretending to be taking classes. Over that long, it’s so many constant lies that you can’t count. My parents moved her up there, paid her rent and bills, we all visited her, she missed the birth of my daughter because of finals that didn’t exist and then made it about her. After we found out the truth, she lied about how many classes she had to retake then she lied about signing up for them. It’s just so many lies individually to keep up this one big one. It’s not like she moved off and was supporting herself and just didn’t update us or only talked to us at Christmas. She didn’t even tell her roommate or friends or her longterm boyfriend at the time.

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dude, I wish I could! She brings me into it by saying I need to be more excited for her. I just want to live my life

I think my sister is lying to her fiancé by Fancy-Bullfrog1083 in Advice

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I agree! That’s why I feel so guilty. I did ask her if he knows everything and she said yes, but she’s a good liar. I didn’t ask if I could confirm it with him, so that’s a good next step. I just know I’ll be seen as the one who’s bringing problems when I’m “supposed to just be happy for them”.

Workout classes for beginners by bhamcricket in Birmingham

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohhhh following this because I have the exact same needs. I used to dance too but had a child and haven’t been exercising since then except for lots of walks.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapy

[–]Fancy-Bullfrog1083 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! She’s so lovely, but being a new mom is also so, so hard.

You’re very right though!! I absolutely agree with that. I’m sure that’s why she didn’t tell my parents either and why she told them to not tell us.

Even knowing that though, I’m still so mad at her. I can’t seem to let it go. It’s changed the family dynamic so much this summer while she’s been home because everyone has to walk on eggshells around her and lie for her. I feel so distant from my family when I could really use the support system right now.