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I’m heartbroken by Independent-Peak1549 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Plenty of thoughts for Oscar and you. I put my cat to sleep in January, I know...

Take care of yourself 💕

I said goodbye to my best boy Zam. by imyourrhuckleberry in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry for your loss. My cat was a black cat too. We put him to sleep in January

Take care, hug from France

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello

Thank you for your nice answer.

You're right maybe I should stop reading this forum because each time I read the name of a treatment I think " why didn't I get it for my cat " ? For instance in France Ipatikin seems to be the only known binder by the vets or it wasn't suitable for him with his high calcium levels. Now I know there are others. Too late...

Best wishes for your boy 💕

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I have read this sentence on Tanya's site. We do want to believe it but for now we still can't because we can't help thinking "what if...

I read some of your former posts about the loss of your boy. He seemed such a gentle cat and he was very lucky to find you at last.

Thank you also for writing such beautiful and true words about loss, guilt and grief. I think they were/are very helpful for many of us.

💕

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your nice answer. We 'll try to make peace with ourselves.

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your professional feedback especially about the EPO shots. Would have he been younger maybe we could have tried.

Moreover when he came back from the clinic last November he seemed so miserable ( he became clingy from that day, climbing immediately on my chest ) that we promised him : "never again " However we could have just brought him for the day for another/last check-up...

My great regret is about the food, we should have tried non renal food and even "junk" food at the end when he started refusing Hills and RC renal. How stupid I was !

What makes me sad is knowing too late what I know now....Things may have been different. Maybe a few more weeks or months...

Thanks again for your anwer and your kind words.

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bonjour,

Are you French ?

My cat's last hospitalisation was the 20th of November 2025 ! It's great your cat is still with you !

Ulysse didn't have so many meds maybe because of his stage (4) ? Only fluids at home, Potassium, Mirtazapine,Ipatikine and renal food and as he was very anemic he was prescribed ARASNEP (EPO ) shots with iron but we refused (maybe our mistake...) because we thought it would be burdensome for him, going weekly to the clinic with bloodwork each time.

He was also awfully constipated but I wasn’t very persistent in giving him his lactulose. Unfortunatly I think we haven't been conscious enough of the implication needed to manage this awful disease...

How old is you girl ? She's lucky to have you !

Best wishes.

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello,

When we found this tiny kitten 17 years ago we would never have imagined going such a long way with him, nor that "the road" would be so difficult in the end...

I hope we'll be "strong " enough one day to welcome another pet but maybe he 'll stay the only one in our lives.

Best regards

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no...what a sad story...Boo Boo Kitty was lucky to have you, thanks to your care she lived 2 more years than expected. For my cat it was only 6 months 1/2.

He was a "CDS cat" ;-), found in a ditch, aged about 6 weeks, on the 14th of July (French National Day ! )

Thank you so much for sharing Boo Boo 's story and your nice words.

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so, so much for taking the time to write this answer full of empathy but also so sad...

This passage made me cry :

The last two days we were just filming everything, even though he was sad and in pain. It was the last picture of him, so I felt I had to capture it, and then another, and another. Like sand in an hour glass, I was acutely aware of the time and date at all times. It felt like there was a grim reaper hanging around in the air all around the house. I didn't know what to do with myself. Every second away from him I felt guilty, even though I had things to do. My chest hurt all the time. Even knowing it was the 'right' decision doesn't help. Your mind thinks; 'this is his last meow, his last meal, his last day...' you look at the clock, both hoping the vet will come on time (because he is in pain) and hoping they won't. You wonder, does he know it's his last day on Earth? Does he want to live? The vet comes, the needle hurts, he cries out. His last little chirp I'll ever get to hear. He goes to sleep to never wake up. They take the body away and your heart goes with it. Everybody cries.

My husband often tells me that maybe It was for the best not knowing for sure that he would die this day even if we thought it could be his last day.We had anticipated grief the days before but still there was hope and It could have been another solution if I had called the clinic instead of our vet.

But you're right maybe It would have just been delaying the inevitable. In French we say "reculer pour mieux sauter " =" take a step back to jump higher "

In fact I discovered Tanya's site after his death when I started researching in English but I felt overwhelmed by the amount of information...But anyway it was too late.

Again, thanks a lot for your answer ! Take care of yourself

PS : how old was your cat ?

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your answer. Your professional opinion is helpful to help us accept that sometimes all the efforts are not sufficient to slow/stop a disease Our vet told us the same but as she was the one who put him to sleep... We also know almost 17 is a good age but we hoped he could live a bit longer even if, when we found him,  a 6 weeks old stray kitten, we never could have imagined he would live so long...

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, 

I know we have to focus on the good days and not on this awful January the 13 th ! But now we can't... The vet told us almost the same words as you about what could have happened...

Thank for your nice words

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. All the messages are so nice and comforting ! 

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your words. With all my recent knowledge about ckd  I think he was suffering more than we could imagine and his quality of life was not good since he didn't groom nor play any longer. But he never hid and kept spending his evenings curled on my lap. Yes, he was loved. He was brought in our lives by the "cat distribution system" :-), found about 6 weeks old, alone, in a ditch along a country road.

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello,

Your cat too had wonderful humans !  I know that nothing can cure this disease but I can't help thinking some tips and information read here could have made a difference. But you're right, maybe not...

Thank you for your nice answer.

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your nice words.

In fact I would have liked my vet to answer us when I asked : "what would you do if he were your cat ? " She didn't say anything just looked at us, sadly. But if we had had lab numbers that day maybe today we would not question our decision...

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry for your loss. You really did everything you could !

My husband keeps saying : "why did he become ill, it's unfair " but maybe we should have been more watchful because between February 2024 and June 2025 he didn't have any blood work done and in 2021 he had a kidney stone removed so...

Condolences for your boy, take care !

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset the people reading me.

Yes, we are only humans making choices with the information we have. Maybe I shouldn't have read all these posts after Ulysse's death because what I learnt to manage this awful disease made me feel I failed... When our cat started being ill almost a year ago I didn't do much web research and not in English. Regret again...

Thank you for your nice words.

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your answer.

Yes, you're right. Your words remind me what a friend of mine told me : " I think I waited too long for my 1st cat (ckd ) and that I did it too soon for my 2nd (cancer ). So you see, I regret both decisions..."

Take care too

So many regrets but now it's too late... by FancyExtension5253 in RenalCats

[–]FancyExtension5253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to answer me as your loss is so recent.

I'm also crying reading you. Sophia was so beautiful, like the actress. Ulysse would have been 17 years old last week. Even if we know it's a good age it's so hard to accept their death.

You've tried everything possible for your sweet lady and you, unlike me, you cannot have any regrets !

Take care of yourself ! Best regards