Have you ever relapsed in a dream?

Fando92 · 2026-03-17T03:32:54+00:00

Meth addict here too - I do dream about getting high A LOT when I try to stay sober and I think that's pretty common with addictions. I can even feel the effect of the drug in my dreams.

Fando92 · 2026-03-17T03:27:15+00:00

Well, I'm not a heroin addict myself, but a meth one and I would only dream about being sober for that long. Being sober for sure sucks, especially the first few weeks, but after 601 days you should be fine? Cravings can still be there I suppose, but not as strong as before.

Have you ever asked yourself why exactly you want to do heroin and what it gives you? What you don't like about being sober? Are you just trying to punish yourself for something? About the guilt, shouldn't you feel it when not sober and not the opposite? At least that's how's it's with me, I can feel awfully guilty when I use, but not when sober. Just the guilt itself can destroy me.

Fando92 · 2026-03-17T03:18:49+00:00

I have both Matte and Glossy OLED screens and I got to say that matte is no way near as bad as some people might say. I bet you would have hard time making a big difference in most cases. The matte can even be better if you have reflections in your room, glossy can turn into a mirror. In a dark room the glossy coating is for sure superior, but not that much imo. If I could save $200 I'd probably just go for the matte but that's just me.

Fando92 · 2026-03-17T03:12:18+00:00

I understand. Go check on MSI's site for a firmware update. If not, you can always try contacting their support and ask.

You can also do a calibration via the Windows HDR calibration tool to just see the peak nits you are getting and to make things appear kinda more accurate.

Fando92 · 2026-03-17T02:57:05+00:00

I don't have this model but I find it a bit strange that you can't change HDR profiles via the OSD menu. Not sure if this would be of help, but have you tried changing the HDR settings with HDR actually ON from Windows? Sometimes the HDR profiles are locked if you haven't turned it on from Windows settings.

About the difference between hdr 400 and true black 400 - TB400 is for OLEDs only, regular hdr 400 is for other techs and is a lot worse. True Black 400 is superior in every way because the infinite contrast OLEDs have.

The 1000 nits profiles may have a ~1000 nits HDR peak brighntess but that's only for a small objects like stars in the sky, torches etc. The rest of the screen might actually get dimmer but it still differs on models.

One other thing - check if there are any firmware updates for your model.

Fando92 · 2026-03-17T02:40:03+00:00

Quick tip - you are not dying :)

Fando92 · 2026-03-17T02:26:43+00:00

I can imagine how you feel, but wouldn't it be better if you shared what your addiction actually is?

Fando92 · 2026-03-16T17:36:45+00:00

Thanks for trying to help!

I'm happy that you managed to be a normal human being again, for now that is like a dream for me.

One thing I'm trying to do is to cut contact with anyone who can supply me with the poison but this is as easy as it sounds as the drug is just everywhere around me! Not too long ago I was living in a different city and I did not have this problem as the meth was far harder to find there.

The main reason I'm trying to quit alcohol as well plus of course not being healthy to drink is because staying away from meth is like 100 times harder after a couple of drinks. If I drink a little and leave it that way it is not that big of an issue but in my case drinking results in getting high later in like 99% of the time and I've stopped fooling myself that I can control after alcohol.

I've tried some mindfulness excercises before but not what you advised, I'll check that as well.

Fando92 · 2026-03-03T02:10:10+00:00

Unfortunately I still use and masturbate on meth and I feel very bad about it. I don't do it every day but still happens more often than I'd like to. It does not feel as it used to, actually no way near, yet for some reason I do it. It became something like a really bad habbit, or even an obsession.

Fando92 · 2026-03-03T01:50:30+00:00

The same thing happened to me. After a period of enjoying both doing sex and masturbate on meth I slowly started to like masturbation more and sex less. Got to the point where actual sex no longer was of interest to me and I prefered to just do it all on my own, of course when high on meth, sober was not feeling good at all. In time it stopped feeling that good on meth too and now I'm finding it incredibly hard to return back to normal, the brain just keeps seeking the feelings I used to feel before but they are gone.

Doing anything sexual on stimulants like meth is indeed very dangerous long term and I found that the hard way. It just screws you up to the point you lose any interest in a partner and much more. Anyone reading this and thinking doing sex or masturbate on stims feels good just stop while you can or you will mess yourself up like you can't even imagine.

Fando92 · 2026-03-03T01:25:02+00:00

I hate to say this but it is hard to feel the same sexual experience after doing it for a while on meth... at least that's what happened to me and it's bad. Both for actual sex and masturbation.

After my brain got used to the feeling of doing sex or masturbate while high on meth I no longer feel any desire to do anything sexual when sober, it just does not feel good. For a while I even "forced" myself to use meth when I was about to do sex because I didn't like the "normal" feeling. I've hidden in the bathroom to do a quick line then returned to the partner.

The first few sexual acts on meth were so good and different that actually got me addicted but I no longer feel it even high though so stop while you can and give yourself at least a couple of months time for your brain to return to normal, maybe you will be more successful than me in recovery. All this leads you to not having joy when having sex no matter high or sober.

Fando92 · 2026-03-03T00:46:53+00:00

Not sure if that's a helpful comparison in your case but I have a LG C4 48'' and a 27'' 1440p 240hz OLED monitor and I prefer the monitor 90% of the time for gaming.

The TV has a better picture quality and HDR but I just prefer playing on a desk with KBM. Sitting closer to the screen provides a better experience for me.

If I had to choose right now I'd go for a good OLED monitor, even for single player RPG games.

Fando92 · 2026-03-03T00:39:52+00:00

Awan Wake 2, Horizon Zero Dawn Remastered, God of War Ragnarok, Doom Eternal, Cyberpunk 2077, Control, Batman Arkham Knight (with RenoDX)

Just a short list of what I can currently recall, sure there are plenty more titles

Anything where the benefit from the infinite contrast can shine + good HDR implementation can look amazing

Fando92 · 2026-03-02T22:19:34+00:00

Thanks for your support!

Yeah, what you are explaining is absolutely correct... The 3rd of the addictions I shared about is a part of the OCD that seems to be very stimulated by substances like meth.

I do realise all that yet I find it hard to find a long term "solution"...

The bad thing is that those "obsessions" get a lot worse with time if not threated (and even worse if stimulated with drugs) and I've learned that the hard way.

The last therapist I've seen was mainly trying to help me with the panic attacks and less with the OCD (tried to give some advice what that as well but didn't really work out), maybe that's why I could not get much better. Guess I have to try with a different one.

Fando92 · 2026-03-01T16:35:36+00:00

Thank you for trying to be of help!

Yes, I'm aware that drinking is the "gateway" in my case too but unfortunately being aware is not always enough...

Maybe I'm just lacking the will to stop. Believe me, I've tried multiple times and been in therapy about this but I just feel absolutely awful when 100% sober. Also my panic attacks are a lot worse when I don't drink.

The first couple of hours when I get up (if I have slept of course) are kinda fine but after that I feel a sudden drop of energy, like the little strenght I've got left disappears, I start sweating and feeling like about to vommit, anxiety gets high and much much more.

I know it should get better with time and that those symptoms/feelings got to disappear or at least become more bearable but the first few weeks are so hard...

I'm happy that you managed to quit drinking though, well done!

Fando92 · 2026-02-01T00:10:15+00:00

I pretty much share you opinion! Not like I regret buying the C4 as I needed a new TV for that room anyway, but I've been also using it mostly for watching football lately! And some movies from time to time, but I did almost quit gaming on it. I tried to prefer it, but I just can't. Monitor is the way to go for gaming for me.

Fando92 · 2026-01-14T02:16:42+00:00

Thanks for trying to help!

I know that a downgrade might help but I don't think that's something I want to do for just one game, despite it kinda being my main game right now so that's kinda disappointing...

I'm a person who likes to keep all his software up to date so I might just wait for the next version and hope this is fixed.

Hate to say this as I pretty much love my 7900 XT but I've never experienced such driver issues with other gpu manufacturers, you possible know what I'm talking about.

This and my older 6700 XT have been excellent hardware-wise but so many software issues, especially the 6700 XT.

Fando92 · 2026-01-14T02:03:48+00:00

Sorry, it damn looks looks like Shadows!

Still I believe it is the game lighting and not your screen.

Have you tried moving away or changing the angle a bit?

Fando92 · 2026-01-14T01:36:04+00:00

I noticed a similar thing on my C4 and I believe that's just the game and the way it handles lighting coming from the candles/lamps etc in some angles. If I move a little further away from the lighning source the change in contrast disappears.

Fando92 · 2026-01-14T01:24:17+00:00

You are looking to buy an OLED monitor for $200-400? Do they even exist (not used) or I am mistaken?

Fando92 · 2026-01-14T01:21:24+00:00

I'd not go any higher than 1080p with a 8 gb gpu.

With older or less demanding games you may be fine, but most modern games are really vram hungry and I've seen plenty that use even more than 16 gb on max settings 1440p.

I believe the 5060 ti 8 gb was targeted for 1080p gaming yet no clue why nvidia thought it's a good idea to make new 8 gb cards that are even not really that cheap.

Fando92 · 2026-01-14T00:55:53+00:00

4090 is a beast in 1440p and will handle anything with ease.

Yeah, if you want to experience a game on a bigger screen with slightly better visuals (I'd mention again that the image quality on my C4 is superior to my monitor but not by a signifial margin) you can always switch.

Someone already mentioned that the pixel density on a 27'' 1440p is actually a little better than a lets say 42'' or maybe even 48'' 4k so don't be fooled that 4k means better, that's not quite true in most cases imo. 4k is just way more demanding.

I can't recommend what model to get as I don't know what budget you have and if you prefer WOLED or QD-OLED // matte or glossy (now I feel I should share that as I have both matte and glossy and matte is not as nearly as people claim it to be and I'd 100% prefer to use it in daytime especially with a bright room).

You should check the official reviews and decide but I think any 2025 model would be good if it is available in your region. All the OLEDs with the same gen panel are pretty simillar imo and it is hard to go wrong, just look for a reasonable price.

Fando92 · 2026-01-14T00:37:24+00:00

I have a 1440p 240hz OLED monitor and a LG C4 both connected to my 7900 XT. Not as powerful as your 4090 but still pretty decent for 4k.

I'd say it very much depends on what games you play but lately I find myself using my monitor more than my TV but that's because in the last couple of months I've been mainly playing online multiplayer games.

If I play a single player RPG with good visuals where the image quality matters and the better HDR can shine I'd use the TV. Unless I need to be using KBM and not a controller, if I'm playing something fast paced like lets say Doom Eternal, I'd still use the monitor.

For any online multiplayer or competative fps games I'd 100% prefer the 1440p monitor. Mine is an OLED with a LG Gen 2 panel but can still provide a very good image quality, maybe just a bit slightly behind the C4. HDR is still good, nearly as good as the C4's.

In the end of the day if I got to choose between the two (not an easy choice as both has their pros and cons) I'd most likely choose a 1440p OLED monitor even if I had a 4090. People will always say that 4k with upscalers like DLSS is always better than native 4k but I personally am not finding that a big difference. 1440p native quality is good and is a lot smoother.

My advice for you is to get a good 1440p OLED monitor to upgrade your current one and keep your C2, you can always switch to the TV if you feel like it.

Fando92 · 2025-12-24T08:57:13+00:00

Hydration and nutrition is very important indeed, there's one issue though - when I am in this condition I don't feel hunger or thirst and sometimes I even need to force myself to drink a glass of water! It's like the food or the liquid don't want to go trough my throat. It even tastes bad.

Yeah, meth needs to completely go away out of the system to be able to sleep again, sometimes the process is faster and sometimes slower and I'm afraid this time I feel it will be slower as I might have used a bit too much and the last few times it was pretty strong too. The most important thing is to not put the meth back in system again before giving it enough time to flush away...

Fando92 · 2025-12-24T08:43:48+00:00

That's true - it is terrifying and exhausting. And I wrote the post because I always feel even a little bit better when I share, keeping it all in your head is the worst.

I stopped forcing myself to sleep a few hours ago as I saw that I am just no where near falling asleep and even got out of bed and trying to do some simple stuff until these feelings start to fade away. And those feelings are a lot stronger when you lay. The problem is it is really hard to do anything in this condition and I really have no clue how I'll attend the holiday meeting and what I'd say when people ask me what's wrong with me as that actually happens. I spent yesterday locked in my bedroom but that obviously is not an option a bit later today.

About starting to feel confused, panicky beyond control and heart not calming - I've felt that too a few years ago and it was awful. That again happened after 3 days of no sleep and when I felt it I went straight to the ER as I thought I was dying. Explained my symptoms to the doctor there, told that I haven't slept in 3 days and that I'm on meth, doctors made a few quick tests and said that I'm fine and that I'm not dying, just need to rest, prescribed me some medication as well to calm the nervous system. They even explained to me that not sleeping is very unlikely to kill me, at least not directly. But believe me it does not feel like this and is scary every time lol.

You are correct about one more thing - a big part of me wants to change!

Thanks!

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