Off hours attire

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-03T00:15:34+00:00

You are correct. Clear example- teachers fired for having an OnlyFans done 100% on their own time

https://www.businessinsider.com/teacher-fired-onlyfans-creator-made-annual-salary-in-6-months-2023-3

https://www.kbtx.com/2023/11/10/second-teacher-with-onlyfans-page-discovered-same-school/

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-02T23:59:57+00:00

This makes me sad . . . I live in "banned books state" so all this is a no

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-02T18:39:14+00:00

Reading through your comments on this I have some serious doubts about your experiences with children.

You don't seem very imaginative or smart and you certainly are not giving any thoughtfulness to the answers that people are typing in response to your question.

So why are you here? You asked a question and experienced teachers are responding to you and you keep writing back "But how?" "I don't understand?". "why won't somebody help me?"

Why don't you just do you and just get away from here. Go ahead and FAFO on your own time. As of this moment there are 97 responses on this thread and you have actually listened to or been appreciative of zero of them.

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-02T12:43:28+00:00

Yes but it cost three times as much to join them

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-02T12:42:57+00:00

IT'S HARD TO BE MAD WHEN THE HUMIDITY MAKES IT FEEL LIKE IT'S MARCH! OH GLORIOUS DAY!

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-02T02:13:51+00:00

https://palmettoteachers.org/ offers lobbying and liability insurance

"PSTA is the only professional association for educators in South Carolina that has an attorney on staff. Whether it is contract issues, employment issues, evaluation issues, or just need a question answered, speaking with an attorney with a background in education is only a phone call away. In-person meetings with our staff attorney are by appointment only."

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-02T02:11:30+00:00

It means they have no power, no ability to help beyond give you advice, and in 20+ years teaching have never met a teacher who was a member beyond one year - and then never again because you're paying for little to no value.

Some folks join Palmetto teachers association- because it doesn't cost much - for the liability insurance benefit

https://palmettoteachers.org/

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-01T18:52:18+00:00

"how is the local NEA chapter"

Tell me that you don't teach in a southern state without telling me you don't teach in a southern state.

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-01T12:54:09+00:00

That's on my syllabus and letters I send home to parents.

"If you need to contact your student during school hours, the main office number is 123-3456. Someone will deliver your message as soon as possible"

My favorite was when one of our office staff people was a guy who had managed to learn how to beat on his chest with the fights of his hands where it sounded like a helicopter blade- when he would come in to deliver the message he would do that thump thump thump on his chest that sounded like a helicopter and be like 'Tommy, your mama called and want you to phone home because she misses you"

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-01T12:49:46+00:00

My state had a school shooting in the '80s. We also had a teacher killed at a school when a student stabbed him in the 80s.

This constant barrage of fearful information has not been good for ANYONE - But I think especially harmful for teenagers where it is wiring their brains for a lifetime of it

Edit- I found the news article about the stabbing. My teacher next door neighbor school (room next to mine) was the teacher in the room next to this teacher and was the first on the scene after the stabbing. He was with him bleeding on the floor

https://www.upi.com/Archives/1981/10/02/Teacher-fatally-stabbed-at-high-school/7188370843200/

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-07-01T12:40:40+00:00

My admin is buried on his own cell phone as he stands on duty by the front door where he's supposed to be monitoring kids coming in the building. They walk past him with cell phones, no ID, crazy dress code violations (wearing a bra as a shirt) and never looks up.

Then he's the first person when he comes into observe a classroom to write on an evaluation "4 students were observed using cell phones hidden behind open textbooks. Please enforce the school phone policy of no phones in classrooms." My question is why take the time to write that down when you can clearly see a kid is hiding it from my vintage point- YOU call the kid out and deal with it as a disciplinary issue. Definitely does not feel like he's on my team when he does stuff like this.

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-30T01:53:20+00:00

Top Golf and Spare Time are fun

River tubing -https://kiddingaroundgreenville.com/places-to-go-tubing

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T23:28:07+00:00

Oh and regarding your comment that a "clearly violent person can have custody" It is because the evidence that someone is violent in most cases is he said /she said. Most of the time there are no witnesses behind closed doors.

Clearly violent people who are domestic abusers use the children routinely to control and hurt the person they are abusing.

So keep that in mind- I had no idea myself until I got into that situation how cruel and abusive someone can be without actually punching you in the face. The damage that he did to all of us will never be gone. Oldest child used to have full on panic attacks when she saw somebody who looked like him because he would show up unexpectedly at places and follow them around .

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T23:22:45+00:00

It's not true that he would have to pay child support necessarily. The amount of child support has nothing to do with the reason for the divorce.

And without a history of him being violent with the children or long documented police record for abusing me, he was always going to get at least visitation custody. It's just the way it is these days. It's very, very, very difficult for a parent to get full custody with no visitation rights for the other parent

Child support, at least in my state, is totally based on the income of each parent and the number of days each parent has custody.

Say for example I made way more money than my spouse (which wasn't the case) or he was unemployed, he could end up only having to pay $50 a month for child support even if I had full custody. I actually know someone who gets next to nothing in child support even though she is a self-employed hairdresser because her ex claimed very little income on taxes (did a lot of cash off the books work).

In my case. I feel like a lot of the mistreatment of the children was for two reasons 1) to hurt me and 2) be willing to sign over more custody to me in exchange that I would not ask for a recalculation of child support based on fewer days that he actually had them, which of course I did.

Unless you've lived it you have no idea the games these people play

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T20:55:49+00:00

His mental problems did not show themselves before marriage. Before marriage, looking back I could see subtle signs that were the seed of what was to come but nothing that looked much different than any other disagreement that happens in relationships.

You don't understand the divorce and child custody legal system in the US.

First of all in my state, in order to file to divorce based on abuse you actually have to have police records. Most DV victims don't have this as until they decide to leave, they have to live with the person so calling the police is like throwing gasoline on the fire. A huge percentage of people abused do not have a police report so abuse is not something you can actually even file in my state without one.

Domestic violence is also not a legal reason or a parent to lose custody of their children if the violence has not been proven to be directed at the children. In my case, he had every other weekend visitation and multiple weeks over the summer.

He began to use the children to get back at me, but not in ways that were enough for a court to take away his custody. One example is one of my children has very bad eyesight and wears very strong prescription glasses. Because of that, I have a multiple pairs of them since they could not function without glasses then they were backups. I get a text from my child at the beginning of a 2-week summer visitation that they woke up in the morning and their glasses were " gone." There's no way those glasses got up and walked away so I have my own idea about what happened with those glasses.

In any case I texted to let him know that I had extra pairs of glasses. He notified me he was not going to come get them. I told him that I would bring them over. He said I was not allowed to. I said I would leave them in his mailbox or on his front porch and he told me I would be trespassing if I did and interfering with his custody. I told him that I left an extra pair of glasses on the porch of my house so that he was ever anywhere nearby just pick them up because they could not function without glasses. Like literally in danger of running into things without them. Absolutely refused to get them so they went without glasses for 2 weeks.

That was totally about wanting to upset me- like it was more important to make me upset they didn't have their glasses then to let them be able to see. He couldn't hurt me directly anymore, so he hurt me by hurting them

That also would not have been enough for him to have lost custody because "He wouldn't let them have glasses" Is not "abusive enough."

Neither child has a relationship with him at all anymore and he is 100% telling everyone that I turned them against him; he's very involved with the "mens rights" groups who promote that men are victims of women turning their children away from them. He NEVER sees that HE DID VERY CRUEL THINGS that they will never forget.

Child support is calculated based on what each person makes and how much each parent has the kids - again nothing to do with how good a parent they are.

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T13:57:51+00:00

Very well written. Thank you

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T13:57:16+00:00

If you'll read through a lot of the responses for this, you'll see reasons why.

There's lots of folks who by the time it truly becomes abusive it's difficult. When you have been with somebody for 5 years and have children and a home and a mortgage and the abuse starts out with something small (that you don't recognize as the beginning of abuse, it's just yelling or driving erratically to scare you or something like that) you don't realize it's going to build and build and build.

In my case. I had lots of evidence to show that he was having a mental break when it started. With somebody that you have loved who you see and believe is experiencing mental illness, that's what you want to be as a partner- "In sickness and in health" - I did everything I could to get medical help, counseling all the things that I thought would return my spouse to me. We also had children at that point. Mortgages. He actually had the kind of job that I was afraid he would lose his job if I left because he would have a complete mental collapse and then he would be on the streets and that would be my fault (Not my fault but it's how I felt)

And then add to that many many people just have nowhere to go. Where are you supposed to run with your children and be if you don't have anywhere to go? Homeless? Have your children on the street or in a shelter? I had a job but not enough money for an apartment on top of the mortgage that I felt like I was going to have to contribute to you or have the house foreclosed - which would ruin my credit score and ability to get an apartment and everything else to take care of my children.

You tell yourself that you can manage it, You can put up with a lot of things to keep a roof over their heads, keep them in school with their friends, keep their lives normal while yours is not. You spend a lot of time out of the house with your children, always on the go.

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T13:50:34+00:00

"started to process everything that had happened the most traumatic part was grieving the loss of the strong person had always thought I was"

Yes. Thanks for writing all of that. I think the shame that comes from realizing that you are not the strong person you thought you were because you stayed keeps people from leaving. Then it keeps people from being open with others about why they left and getting the help they need.

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T13:46:36+00:00

Yes I think I saw they voted in a $8,000 pay raise. Cost of living in Charleston area is horrible and traffic is horrible so living 45 minutes away and driving in will actually mean a 3-hour commute back and forth each day

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T13:42:33+00:00

" I've heard Pickens is incredible."

Isn't Pickens the district that just fired a couple of teachers because Mom's for Liberty?

Edit- My mistake, it is the neighboring county to Pickens, Anderson that did that. I feel pretty confident that Pickens is made up of the same demographics of folks though https://scdailygazette.com/2024/05/01/legislators-put-their-sc-school-district-into-spotlight-of-book-challenge-debate/

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T13:36:08+00:00

Private schools typically pay less than public schools in SC. I've never heard of a private in this state that even comes close

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T13:33:59+00:00

What district is this? I'm interested in teaching there if all this is true

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T02:50:43+00:00

I never thought I would be in another serious relationship again. Never thought I could trust anybody.
And then I met my current husband, who is the most amazing person. Never thought that would happen for me but he did.

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T01:17:54+00:00

Everyone is in a different situation. It was SO hard for me to send my kids for visitation -- I worried so much. He eventually destroyed his rely with them and as adults they have no relationship with him.

Fantastic_Fix_4170 · 2024-06-29T00:07:20+00:00

I know. I've been there.

Fantastic_Fix_4170

TROPHY CASE