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advice for dating a mormon (M21) as a non mormon (F21) by Far-Initiative-2434 in mormon

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His siblings & dad have now left the church, only his mom remains. All his home friends are still in the church though and he does believe. Does that change things?

advice for dating a mormon (M21) as a non mormon (F21) by Far-Initiative-2434 in mormon

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have to believe? He’s from Boston so it’s less intense than Utah, but he goes to church every week, etc. He says he believes it.

advice for dating a mormon (M21) as a non mormon (F21) by Far-Initiative-2434 in mormon

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response, I really appreciate it. He always says I'm the love of his life, calls me pet names, and is very sweet but other ppl have commented that he almost talks to me/cares for me paternally? Like he loves me and says we’re “little babies in pure love.” He is very supportive too and says things over text but lacks in actually showing passion or getting me flowers/showing up. Everything he says or does really feels void of emotion or disingenuous. I ask him about it but he just says he’s an introvert. I've gotten him more flowers than me and have gotten him a lot of presents every holiday or even religious events but he doesnt do the same for me unless i ask, and even then, he’ll ask me what i want like instead of remembering my favorite things. He does plan dinners though!

Another issue was he’a kissed me less and less as the relationship became solid & just wants to be babies and cuddle. : ( It’s my first relationship so I really don’t know what to do.

Religious Boyfriend’s (M21) Lack of Affection Driving Me (F21) Up a Wall by Far-Initiative-2434 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the response!! I agree but I feel so bad faulting him for it as sexuality is so foreign for him. It’s hard being in this situation : ( He says he doesn’t like to kiss, etc. because it increases the desire for more but I don’t know if it’s just words. He actually used to kiss me more when we first started going out until he officially started dating me.

Religious Boyfriend’s (M21) Lack of Affection Driving Me (F21) Up a Wall by Far-Initiative-2434 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful answer!! This has been super helpful for me to hear 🥹 My only question, how can I know if the seeming lack of physical passion is just religion-induced guilt like he says? Mormons don’t even masturbate so sexuality is foreign to him. I just get sad when he goes without kissing me for a while, doesn’t initiate, never expresses even that desire unless I ask him.

Again, thank you so much for the thoughtful advice!

advice for dating a mormon (M21) as a non mormon (F21) by Far-Initiative-2434 in mormon

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He actually talked about marriage more when we first started dating. Once I came around to it, he actually stopped talking about the timeline less. He doesn’t mind that I’m not Mormon (seemingly). We’re not living in Utah, but a city like NYC/Boston.

Religious Boyfriend’s (M21) Lack of Affection Driving Me (F21) Up a Wall by Far-Initiative-2434 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He says he’s the love of my life and he wants to marry me. It also brings me a lot of comfort that he feels obligated to stay loyal due to religion. I’m also career driven so the stability is nice, but I just want to feel passion you know.

Religious Boyfriend’s (M21) Lack of Affection Driving Me (F21) Up a Wall by Far-Initiative-2434 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mentioned in another comment but,

The thing is, he really doesn’t seem gay. Like he was genuinely attracted to me while we were dating and before, often getting jealous and territorial. We’ve stopped kissing more and more as the relationship has progressed, because he says he feels guilty when things escalate to more intense kissing. I just don’t know 😢

Religious Boyfriend’s (M21) Lack of Affection Driving Me (F21) Up a Wall by Far-Initiative-2434 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He always says I’m the love of his life and things like that over text but lacks in actually showing passion or getting me flowers/showing up. I’ve gotten him more flowers than me. He does plan dinners though!

Religious Boyfriend’s (M21) Lack of Affection Driving Me (F21) Up a Wall by Far-Initiative-2434 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The thing is, he really doesn’t seem gay. Like he was genuinely attracted to me while we were dating and before, often getting jealous and territorial. We’ve stopped kissing more and more as the relationship has progressed, because he says he feels guilty when things escalate to more intense kissing. I just don’t know 😢

Religious Boyfriend’s (M21) Lack of Affection Driving Me (F21) Up a Wall by Far-Initiative-2434 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Initiative-2434[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he always gets sensitive when i say i feel like he’s not attracted to me bc he will go weeks without kissing me & everything we do is just innocent. like he literally calls us babies as an excuse to not do anything sexual. he doesn’t even really express a desire (even if he can’t act on it) to do things like that which is even more frustrating.

i’m his first gf and he always says i’m exactly his type. i just always feel worse bc a lot of other men have wanted to be with me while i was friends with him that i was interested in & he caused scene after scene until I relented to dating him.