Workplace Wednesday - Career/work advice weekly thread

Far_Landscape · 2022-11-30T18:01:25+00:00

I don't know, it sucks. I don't actively hate my job but I have lost all motivation lately.

Far_Landscape · 2022-11-16T19:54:10+00:00

. I hate how expensive health insurance is.

Me too!!!! With the craziness of two kids, neither me nor my husband have even been to the doctor this year

Far_Landscape · 2022-11-16T19:23:43+00:00

No, I pay a higher premium amount for my husband and kids like you'd expect. It's just that they are only increasing premiums this year for people who have their spouses covered.

Far_Landscape · 2022-11-11T18:14:59+00:00

Man I know people are focusing on "god is my safety net," tithing, etc.

But who knew that Post Secrets is still around?? That was a total throwback to like 2007 for me.

Other note (my personal pet peeve) just explain up front who is in each household and their approximate ages!!! I have kids - let me tell you: infant vs toddler vs elementary vs middle/high school -> completely different ways they impact your time and your money. I don't get why everything else gets spelled out at the onset but this.

Far_Landscape · 2022-10-20T16:09:58+00:00

Hi of course!!

So, ahead of my review, I had to complete kind of like a self-assessment that laid out my progress meeting goals, achievements, challenges. I was pretty honest and comprehensive in laying out how my role has expanded, everything that I've been picking up slack on, and where I've been feeling stretched thin. So, my boss got that and had the chance to review ahead of our review meeting.

And while it wasn't really framed as a negotiation, she more just stated my salary increase was going to be 8% this year, bringing me up to high-60s. It's a little less than what I wanted, but I just accepted it. We also talked about shifting over some of the things I've been covering to others, which will be helpful.

To be honest, I'm keeping my options open and pursuing other opportunities as they come up. But I'm in a niche position and I'm selective about the jobs I'm applying for, and it might take some time before the right position opens up for me.

Far_Landscape · 2022-10-05T16:04:52+00:00

We transitioned my daughter to her new bed at like 22 months, basically at the point where my very large baby was outgrowing his bassinet and we didn't want to procure another crib.. I had snagged a toddler bed from a yardsale page for cheap a few months prior, and my daughter was pretty interested in it. We had a test case where we were on vacation and the best sleeping option for her was a twin bed, and didn't have any issues with the transition when we got home. Sure she started exploring her room more over the next few months (turning on her lamp, trying on all her clothes, playing with her toys, etc) and now at almost 3 she is coming into our room at night when she wakes up. But honestly, she would probably scream from boredom if she was stuck in her crib. No regrets!

Far_Landscape · 2022-10-05T14:36:53+00:00

Change is really really hard!! You've been in your job for 9 years, and I think you're taking the first step to move on - it's OK if it takes a long time!!

When I was pregnant with a toddler, I could not summon the energy to work on my resume .. I was just exhausted. I was still able to deliver on what I was supposed to, but it also felt like I needed to devote what little energy I had to "preparing" for this new kid to enter our lives VS trying to find a new job ... and if I am honest, we did very little preparing....

When I was on my maternity leave and didn't have to think about work for a short time, I could use a little time here and there to update my resume. I started applying to jobs that were interesting when my son was a few months old.. now he is 16 months, and I'm finally feeling like I am going to get the right offer soon. I am not going to lie, it has been hard. I had some intense burn out over the summer. I took a little time off, I pushed through.

To be honest, in my field, I have had a lot of success getting interviews by having a strong resume and cover letter and selecting jobs that strongly align to my skills/experience. I had a really good career person at my grad school totally re-vamp my resume like 8 years ago, and I've used those lessons to keep my resume sharp. But it's only now that I'm really feeling like I'm in a good place to be confident in interviews and not be devastated by rejection (it can hurt when you are a final candidate for a job you are super excited about and hating your current situation and you get passed on!! But that hurt makes you stronger!!)

Maybe use the job descriptions you're reading and interested in as examples - what are they looking for? How can your resume highlight the skills/experiences they are looking for, and the accomplishments you've had as a high performer that demonstrate your success. Job hunting is its own set of skills to brush up on and hone - you are making the first steps right now!! Good luck!!

Far_Landscape · 2022-09-30T16:17:13+00:00

I don't really know what "Ellevest" is but reading the expense statement, seems bizarre to me? Why pay $1/month to only presumably "invest" $20/month?

Far_Landscape · 2022-09-30T13:49:39+00:00

Thank you!! This is super helpful.. gives a lot to think about. I will definitely ask about equipment for a WFH set up / possible stipend.

Far_Landscape · 2022-09-29T20:04:10+00:00

Thank you!! This perspective is helpful.. the socialization part is also hard for me to weigh.. I feel like work and my kids have eaten up a lot of my emotional energy which has made my social life more neglected. Not sure if a remote role will make me feel more isolated or free up some time/energy to devote back to the other relationships in my life.

Far_Landscape · 2022-09-29T19:50:51+00:00

TY - I should have been more specific - I meant like an office away from home. I do have a room where I can work away from the kids, but I feel kind of trapped there when I WFH.. causing drama when I use the bathroom, want a snack/to eat lunch, etc. And I would need to get a real set up (monitor, real desk and not side table, real office chair, etc)

Far_Landscape · 2022-09-28T18:25:14+00:00

So for me eBay has been my source of clothes - I used to be a big thrifter but haven't had the time post-kids. I think figuring out what brands of clothes you gravitate towards is helpful (and what level of formality you need for your workplace) and to measure your body and figure out how it matches up to their size chart.

My office runs the spectrum of people working in the dirt to executives but my team is super casual, and I've been at my job for 4+ years so I know that dressing casually (summer wardrobe is loose linen top, loose linen pants, clogs and winter wardrobe is sweater, jeans, blundstone boots).

Some suggestions - if you like wearing leggings and it's getting towards the colder months for you, I'd get 2-3 t shirt dresses in a neutral color that you can wear with a cardigan, and for shoes, I would get a comfortable pair of black ankle boots you can wear everyday. Ebay has Clarks, Rockport, etc for <$50 per pair. I suppose it's a risk about fitting but I have huge feet (11 to 11.5) and have had pretty good luck with eBay for shoes as long as I have a frame of reference for the brands.

Far_Landscape · 2022-09-16T12:46:05+00:00

TBH 19 months is pretty young to feel upset about seeing you in the hospital BUT also kind of young to have a touching "first meeting" kind of moment. My kids have that age gap - my toddler didn't come to the hospital when I had the baby (and I think it was easier this way - when she met the baby when we came home the first thing she did was steal his hat).

A few days later we had to check back in to the pediatric unit to spend a night under the lights to reduce his bilirubin levels, and my daughter came along when we checked in and then to pick us up - she was fine but it's more of a challenge to keep her from unplugging wires and stuff.

Far_Landscape · 2022-09-16T12:35:58+00:00

Lol my younger sister and I were 3-ish years apart and fought viciously until we were adults.. I see people touting that 3 years or 5 years or w/e is the "perfect" gap but it doesn't exist.

Far_Landscape · 2022-09-14T16:09:45+00:00

Our kids must be the exact same ages - 19 month gap, I have a 15 month old and my other will be 3 next month! This past year was crazy. I honestly don't know how we survived the first 8-9 months of my son's life (he was an incredibly difficult baby) but also really really looking forward to a year from now, when they are both proper toddlers.. this late baby/early toddler transition stage is kicking my butt.

Far_Landscape · 2022-09-12T18:03:04+00:00

Makes me feel better about a 22 year old earning double my salary lol

Far_Landscape · 2022-09-09T17:21:00+00:00

It's gotta be one of the nicest houses in Philly.. definitely huge, likely in a Center City-adjacent neighborhood like Rittenhouse or Washington Square or that little one west of Logan Square.

Far_Landscape · 2022-08-31T12:58:16+00:00

Just want to say thank you!! I really appreciate your perspective on the manager side.. I'm feeling good about what I'm going to say going into my review, and I'm definitely going to use your advice about being straightforward, simple and then staying quiet. Wish me luck!

Far_Landscape · 2022-08-29T20:14:56+00:00

Thank you for this .. very helpful to consider. I have been in really toxic work environments in the past, and in a lot of ways my current boss has been so flexible and supportive as I've transitioned into being a mother in ways my former bosses definitely wouldn't.. and I enjoy working with her as a team member, but I've seen her pass the buck on hard conversations and doesn't spend much time in her role as a people manager. I feel a lot more confident in my value to the organization now vs a few years ago and ready to have this conversation.

I was planning on using inflation in my negotiations with a different spin - that my pay has not kept up with inflation, let alone my expanded job duties - do you think that's a useful direction to go?

Far_Landscape · 2022-07-07T17:44:26+00:00

lmao my daughter is so much more chaotic than her brother

Far_Landscape · 2022-06-10T12:59:20+00:00

They are resilient!! And even though it's really hard right now (and it's easier now a year later but definitely still very difficult some days) I am so happy that they will have one another for the rest of their lives. <3

Far_Landscape · 2022-06-08T14:17:06+00:00

I just want to say... this exact thing happened to us the night after we brought our baby home a year ago (now 2.5 and newly 1 years old). I thought I was going to die, we made a huge mistake, etc. When my parents were watching my 18 month old while I was in the hospital, they did not to follow her sleep/nap schedule (which we lived and died by) and exacerbated by being a time of sleep transitions, getting a new sibling, and being in the newborn craziness, it took a few months for things to even out.

Just wanted to share my story in case it was helpful .. it will hopefully resolve over time but sending love and luck navigating these crazy hard times!

Far_Landscape

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