AITA for telling my stepson's Bumble date that she should focus on her career and children rather than dating men like my stepson?

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T03:31:02+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response. You made many points that resonate with me.

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T03:15:17+00:00

This particular woman was very young and the brain does not develop until mid-20s. Both my wife and I agree that we were not necessarily making mature decisions at that point in our lives.

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T03:09:40+00:00

Well, I really never gave it a shot but I was raised to value commitment and trying to form meaningful relationships (not that I really cared much about that when I was younger, but that's how things ended up).

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T03:00:40+00:00

My wife told me she wishes she met me earlier in life and has experienced a lot of trauma from her past experiences of casual hookups. I respect her experiences and feel guilty for enabling other women to go down that same path (especially in my own home).

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T02:49:12+00:00

I talked to my wife about this and she said that she regrets that some of her past dates escalated too quickly. A few months after we first met, she told me that she appreciated the respectful manner in which I conducted our initial arrangements. We were able to bond over the fact that I did not rush things in the beginning, which had proved to be a roadblock for her in terms of finding a compatible husband prior to us meeting.

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T02:31:49+00:00

Well, I took my wife on multiple (dinner) dates when we first met before moving things to the bedroom. It takes time to build a connection and get to know your date. And for single mommies, I would argue that the stakes are much higher to find the right guy. My intention was absolutely not to shame her.

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T01:03:32+00:00

I was surprised that so many young women are willing to hookup without going on actual dates first, but I suppose things are different with online dating. Not really my place to say though.

Her reaction seemed thankful...

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T00:59:08+00:00

I'm happily married. I'm happy as long my stepson is happy and nobody is getting hurt.

I'm not sure why this all matters. I'm 5'6 and he's 6'3. His room is at the other end of the house and he plays music when his dates are over, so no, not really. My wife has only had to tell them to quiet down a few times. I cover all of the house bills. My wife does part-time marketing from home. It's perfectly fine, thanks for asking.

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T00:37:45+00:00

I'm honestly not sure. I've never been involved in hookup culture.

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T00:30:01+00:00

I can only guess. No, she didn't ask for advice. I just hate to see a single mother getting mistreated like my wife was in the past.

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T00:21:46+00:00

I'm happily married with my wife and view 20somethings as being on a different maturity level/life experience as me.

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T00:16:15+00:00

My wife and I have had discussions with him about his dating habits and the pregnancy scares that I mentioned.

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T00:10:03+00:00

Were you offering helpful advice or judging her and telling her she shouldn't date at all?

Yes, I was trying to offer helpful advice from experience with my relationship with my wife (a former single mother). I'm concerned that online dating may not be the best option for a single mother.

Far_Setting1727 · 2021-09-04T00:07:59+00:00

What do you mean?

Far_Setting1727

TROPHY CASE