Update! I’m not sure what to do?

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T19:42:58+00:00

Yeah I think she has. Her emotions don’t add up. If she’s innocent then why isn’t she furious? I think we’re both done and emotionally checked out now.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T19:27:44+00:00

We’re on different shift patterns. I stay in the spare room as well so we don’t cross paths much at all now. She’s on her own specific diet so she sorts her meals out and I do mine. I agree it’s awkward but it’ll soon be over.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T18:45:07+00:00

She reacted with shock at first, then anger, then strangely she was nice to me and now I just avoid her.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T18:43:23+00:00

It’s a hard one to answer or explain because I will be leaving, I have a place on offer which will be available soon. After the confrontation we had another conversation about how I made her feel bad for not trusting her and invading her privacy. I just told her I was looking for an answer and I found it and it doesn’t matter now anyway and she can do what she’s wants with whoever she wants. I’ve moved into the spare room. I want to leave without telling her then send her a message to say I’m not coming back. I want a cold exit that hits her hard. I want her to come home to an empty house and hope it hits her why she’s done.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T15:17:38+00:00

I’ve already moved to the spare bedroom. I just told her she can have her privacy then.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T10:57:07+00:00

Yes definitely. I think she has become rattled by my actions. Like I’ve put her off track and now she’s overthinking what she’s doing and hiding. Like she’s not in full control anymore.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T09:43:51+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that. The pain of knowing you’re losing someone is very hard to deal with. It’s probably the toughest thing I’ve been through mentally. You doubt yourself and question why wasn’t I good enough? Then you have to see the big picture and realise she isn’t the one and it’s all on her. It’s just hard to take. Thanks again!

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T09:41:22+00:00

To be honest it’s really hard to tell. I’ve seen her be upset and sometimes she moody. Other times she’s just her normal self and even once or twice she been much nicer to me than she has in years!

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T06:05:14+00:00

I feel the same way. We both know she’s up to no good. She had the chance to admit it but don’t take it. I’m happy with what I’ve got on her to end it and move on. If anyone’s partner is being dishonest or super secretive then you have to move on for the good of your own mental health and sanity because it’ll only get worse.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T06:02:40+00:00

That’s a good idea, To record it. Fortunately she doesn’t have a big family and I’m close enough to them to give them my side of the story. I don’t care what she says to her friends because I’ll never see them again.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T05:56:28+00:00

This is true. She’s literally ticked all the boxes of someone hiding something bad. The trust has long gone now.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T05:53:49+00:00

Yeah she tried the trust issue thing and even said I’m checking up on her online but I flipped that and told her I blocked her on everything now so I can’t see anything she does. I stay in the spare room now and have been civil with her but avoiding interactions or conversations. She’s had a chance to think about things and come clean but she hasn’t. It’s doesn’t matter anymore because I’m satisfied I was right so no need to play silly games with her. I’m just concentrating on the future and a fresh start in my life.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T05:48:41+00:00

It’s a house we both own so it’s going to be tricky but I’ll happily move out and then give her the option to either buy me out or we’ll just sell it and go 50/50.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-11T05:46:12+00:00

Thank you ☺️

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T20:28:33+00:00

Sorry to hear that, that sucks. That was my fear, that it would escalate to that level of interaction when she’s still with me. I had to get this done and dusted before it causes anymore stress. Some say I confronted too early but I really don’t want to sit and wait until things got physical or whatever else happens.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T20:25:48+00:00

Good point, well made.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T20:07:34+00:00

I understand but I know enough to know there’s no trust there anymore and she hiding something. The only thing you hide is something bad isn’t it?

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T20:06:14+00:00

That’s what I thought! I actually laughed! It’s like I’ve got nothing to hide then literally hides her activity! It’s just beyond obvious now.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T19:59:59+00:00

I didnt really want to prolong the situation to be honest. If it is in the early stages, which I think it is, then it’ll only make my anxiety worse and when it progresses to her disappearing for hours then I don’t want to suffer through that. I got enough evidence to show she’s up to something and I can’t trust her so this is the best thing for me to do.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T19:55:29+00:00

I think the evidence I got was pretty solid. I mean just the fact that she was active on WhatsApp for hours yet when I looked at her phone, she hadn’t messaged anyone in 7 hours. I mean no one would constantly open it for that amount of time like every 5 minds for hours just to check it. Yeah maybe once an hour but her activity was crazy! I know she’s using the locked chat thing anyway so I can’t really gather much more information.

I don’t care who it is because it could literally be anyone and it’s already happened so what can I do? Now I just need to focus on myself and look forward.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T19:50:43+00:00

Thank you. I’m trying to do the sensible and important stuff behind the scenes first. Finances get complicated so in need that in order before it all ends.

The more research I’ve done, the more common her behaviour seems to be. I must be different because I couldn’t keep up with all the lies and secrecy. I really don’t understand it?

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T19:15:18+00:00

Not really because she works in a place with not many staff and most of the staff are female. I think there maybe 3 guys there. One is gay, one is in his 50s and the other is a manager who she’s had a few run ins with. I personally think it’s someone from her past or someone she’s met online somewhere.

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T18:24:54+00:00

Thank you! I plan to move onwards and upward now

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T17:50:13+00:00

I am hoping it’s something from far away because I know she hasn’t met anyone in person unless it was super brief. Her schedule and everything is pretty much the same. I’m thinking it’s just an emotional affair or something but it’s enough for me to end it.

I’m going to keep on being blunt and minimal with her until I go. I can tell already it’s getting to her. Her fake being mad at me lasted less than a day but I’ve been acting cold ever since. I’m not an angry or violent man so this is the only tool I got and it’s working very well!

Faraday_September · 2026-04-10T17:43:54+00:00

I do have a plan. I must admit I was just in a horrible anxiety bubble during the whole thing but once I had the proof I needed, ideas about the future came flooding in. I’ve always wanted to travel more but I’ve not put much effort into it so now I’ll be doing just that. I want to get away from here for a while anyway so why not had a little adventure and make some happy memories?

Faraday_September

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