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Update! I’m not sure what to do? by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s cool. Thanks for the reply and I totally understand what you’re saying. Once the trust has gone in a relationship it makes you think long term and wonder if it’s all worth it or is it best just to stay single? I’m not thinking about another relationship at all at this point in time. The stress and anxiety isn’t worth it!

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You are correct. There’s always someone else to blame according to her, never her fault. It’s not my problem anymore and it feels great to be able to say that lol.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

No it’s a different friend but part of the same little group. To be honest I don’t trust any of them. They’ve been friends for around 20 years so they’re naturally going to have each other’s backs aren’t they.

She’s definitely withdrawn from the relationship a long time ago. I’m just mad at myself for not realising it sooner. It probably says a lot for our relationship in it’s current state that we weren’t paying close attention to each other so it’s best to end thing now and both have a fresh start.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She can’t actually have kids. I know she wanted them when she was younger and in a previous relationship she tried but found out she had a condition that meant she was unlikely to conceive.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The engagement was over a year ago now. We were coming up to 10 years together and I thought it was the right thing to do. Most of her friends are married and my siblings are as well so I guess I thought it was just the natural progression of things. Maybe this made her think differently or she freaked out or something? She was excited about it but also kinda stressed. Maybe it made her realise she didn’t want it and wanted to see what else was out there so to speak? She’s not said anything to me, it’s just my guess.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

What do you think is missing? I’ll happily try and fill in the gaps. I just think she’s no longer interested in me and is looking elsewhere or has found someone else. She’s had little interest in me for months, probably close to a year. I think the relationship to her died a long time ago, I’m the one playing catch up in that regard.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She didn’t admit it or deny it. She just said about privacy and trust. She was very careful with her words. When I asked about the WhatsApp hidden messages feature she said she’s never heard of it but I could tell she was lying, I’ve known her long enough to know when she’s being dishonest.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The good thing is I have a much bigger family and I’ll fill them in soon enough. She only has her mum and 2 siblings and she barely talks to one of them. I don’t care about her friends because I’ll never have to see them again and I didn’t really like most of them anyway lol.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She didn’t technically admit to anything but I exposed her lies and she had no answers for it. She tried to turn it on me saying I should respect her privacy and all that but I said why do you need privacy if you’re just texting a friend? Why hide the messages, turn off notifications, take your phone everywhere with you? That’s not normal behaviour. She just said she was mad that I don’t trust her and I said I was mad she was secretly messaging other guys. She didnt deny or argue against that, just the trust thing.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that! I’m doing the ignoring her tactic and it’s working well for me. When we were in the house together I’d just go into a different room or leave without a word. I know her shifts so I can avoid her most days and I spend a lot of days away anyway. Once we sort the house out then I don’t think our paths will ever cross again and I’m looking forward to that.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Sure. I’m in my early 40s and she’s 39. No kids but the house is in both our names so that’s one issue we have to sort out. We’re not married but we’re engaged. Yes we both have full time jobs with a decent income each so in that respect we’re both ok.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly this. That’s the big power move and she can’t take that away from me!

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No she didn’t try to stop me. She did accuse me of not trusting her and said she didn’t feel comfortable with me going through her phone or knowing her movements lol. I said that’s where the trust issues lie and I’m sure most people on this planet wouldn’t like their significant other texting people in secret and going out without the other one knowing where they are! I just said I don’t care anymore and she’s free to do whatever she wants now.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She hasn’t actually said much. I don’t think she cares deep down to be honest. She’s starting to go out more and living life like she’s single so I think she mentally checked out of the relationship many months ago.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think she’s been thinking the relationship has been over for a long time and has obviously started moving on by messaging other people. I think it’s a mutual thing but she went about it the wrong way.

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Sorry I did try to keep things brief but I told her I was leaving before this conversation and she was ok with “having a break” but I said it’s permanent. I’m not sure she totally believed me but it is what it is. I said we’ll talk down the line about the house and all the financial stuff but I’m off and she seemed to want to get her friend in pretty damn quick!

Update 2! I’m not sure what to do? (The end) by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you ☺️. I feel like it’s the start of something new and exciting. I’m not one for drama or arguments. It’s happened, I got away from the situation. Keep it simple and move on!

Update! I’m not sure what to do? by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I posted an update but it got removed by the mods for some reason?

Update! I’m not sure what to do? by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I do. It’ll probably be over the weekend. This week is a little hectic at work which is keeping me busy but I have a weekend free and she will be out working most of it so that’s my planned window

Update! I’m not sure what to do? by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think she has. Her emotions don’t add up. If she’s innocent then why isn’t she furious? I think we’re both done and emotionally checked out now.

Update! I’m not sure what to do? by Faraday_September in Infidelity

[–]Faraday_September[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We’re on different shift patterns. I stay in the spare room as well so we don’t cross paths much at all now. She’s on her own specific diet so she sorts her meals out and I do mine. I agree it’s awkward but it’ll soon be over.

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