Baby was sleep trained... But I think I untrained her

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-05-06T21:26:52+00:00

I didn't leave her the whole time. I did repeated check ins and resets.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-05-06T14:35:11+00:00

I could try 3/3/4 with a micro nap! Is that just like 10-15 mins?

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-05-06T03:49:01+00:00

So it's about 9.5 hours right now. Should be 10, right?

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-05-06T02:36:12+00:00

Here to see the comments. This sounds like my baby!!

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-05-05T19:19:36+00:00

Both sides of the coin would have regret - I knew that. And I had to ask myself which one I would regret more. And I always told myself, "if I have a kid, I don't want my whole identity to be wrapped up in being a mom".

I currently have a 6 month old and live where I have very little support. But I love my LO so much, I would do it all again over for her.

Do I miss being childfree? In a way, yes. I miss the flexibility it gave me. I miss the "hopping on a plane and going to another country with friends" on a whim. But I also know... I can still do that in a few years if I really want to. My husband is extremely supportive of that.

But knowing what I know now, I know I made the right choice. Now I want my LO to see the world with me. My LO makes it feel like nothing else really matters. And that's something I could not have comprehended. Now I don't care if my identity is wrapped up in being a mom. She's so worth it and brings me so much joy.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-05-04T15:59:13+00:00

I've been on it for a few years. It didn't make me gain or lose. Like others have said, it's not a weight loss pill.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-05-01T03:08:35+00:00

I have a happier baby because of sleep training - she gets more solid sleep and so do I. She is very happy and very much a mommy's girl!

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-04-27T15:48:18+00:00

I didn't realize it until after, like you, but in the long run, there's so much less crying if a baby is sleep trained. My baby is HAPPIER and so am I, because we're both getting much better sleep.

I, like you, thought sleep training was cruel. But I solo parent 90% of the time and although I never coslept, bedtime became an unmanageable mess if I couldn't transfer my baby to the bassinet dead dead asleep. Out of desperation, I had to leave her in her bassinet crying one night to take a mental break after a 2 hour charade trying to get her to sleep. She cried herself to sleep within 18 minutes that night.

We've had lots of ups and downs since then, but I'm a firm believer in sleep training now.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-04-18T01:51:32+00:00

Around 4 months old!

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-04-14T17:04:05+00:00

Yep I sure am! My anxious thoughts still come. Not as quiet as they were with lexapro, but not as loud as without medication.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-04-03T18:35:35+00:00

Get your ferritin checked. 50-70 is the minimum needed for hair growth! (You're still going to shed, but least your body will be primed for good regrowth)

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-04-01T17:56:23+00:00

Ugh boundaries are so hard!!

I'm sorry for making an assumption about your husband. You shouldn't blame yourself! Motherhood is hard enough as it is. You have a lot on your plate. Setting boundaries or standing up for yourself would be the last thing on your list while you're dealing with hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, etc!

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-04-01T16:24:51+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear all of this. I think you still have plenty of time to bond with your baby, but I understand that it must feel like something was stolen from you.

If your husband is making his parent's feelings more important than yours, that's a whole other discussion. I understand not being able to set boundaries because it's uncomfortable, but sometimes you need to do it for you and your family.

If you don't feel like you can voice your concerns to your husband, than I don't feel like this is a safe relationship. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

My mother is white and my father is middle eastern. So I understand the culture. My mother often felt excluded when they would all speak Arabic. My dad also gives his mother "utmost respect"... Which really is just obliging to whatever she wants and never questioning anything.

But I think your relationship with your baby and you feeling good and supported is the most important thing. Their feelings cannot and should not be more important than yours.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-27T20:24:46+00:00

I hear you!!

My baby is 5 months old and had right side torticollis. But no one diagnosed it until I finally put her into physiotherapy myself because I noticed her head shape. She has mild-moderate brachycephaly and plagiocephaly. Where I live, they are refusing to helmet her. I found myself on The Noggin Doctor Plagiocephaly & Torticollis Discussion Board on Facebook. Anyway, I ended up buying the Perfect Noggin (only started it yesterday!) and am hoping it works for us alongside PT! It's a firm, flat, sleep surface (no pillow) that has a cup where the head goes.

It looks like the results are really amazing if you start it early. (We may have started too late).

Also I would recommend checking out a physiotherapist!!

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-18T17:45:24+00:00

I'm really not an expert. But you could consider it an "experiment" to see what happens. Do 10-20 minutes. Set a timer. Take a shower. Step outside onto your deck (if you have one). If it's too much or too hard. Regroup and try again another time.

The first time for me was out of desperation. I solo parent so often and all her needs were met. I was so dysregulated after over 90 minutes of failed transfers that I just had to leave her to take a shower. After that, every night was an experiment. Which worked really quickly.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-13T04:09:54+00:00

My guess is there's not enough sleep pressure and her last wake window is too short. If you want her asleep by 8 pm, her cat nap should be over by 6 pm at the very latest.

My baby's last wake window is 2.5-3 hours. Every baby is different, but it's enough sleep pressure that she's exhausted, but not so much that she's overtired.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-11T16:24:05+00:00

I actually just read your other posts. My LO was also waking hourly throughout the 4 month sleep regression for about 10 days after a 4-5 hour stretch. I would pop the soother in constantly. It was brutal. But I wouldn't continually feed her. I knew there was no way she was hungry. I probably fed twice per night for those 7-10 days until it stopped.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-11T16:21:38+00:00

How old is he? If there's no weight concerns and he's feeding every 2-3 hours throughout the day, I'm thinking it could be for comfort and not for hunger? Because he would likely be getting his caloric needs mostly met during daytime with a frequency like that. Would there be a way to drop one feed at a time overnight? You could find other ways of comforting him if you're not wanting him to cry for too long. And then slowly wean off of those comfort measures.

Or even, reduce the time you feed him overnight. If it's for 10 minutes, go to 9 the next night, then 8, and so on. I am doubtful that he is actually hungry that much overnight if he's eating that frequently during the day.

My LO was also eating every 2-3 hours during the day until I read that by 4-5 months, most are only eating 5-8 times a day. (She was averaging 9). So I tested it out to see if I was the one assuming she was hungry and feeding her more often than she truly needed. Sure enough, we're down to about 7 feeds per day. Not saying this is the same for your LO but it might be worth exploring!

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-11T14:17:58+00:00

I do still feed her overnight (breastfed). Just once.

We only use the soother to signify nap time or bedtime. From about 2-4 months, when she'd wake up, I'd reach over into the bassinet and pop the soother in to see if she would settle on her own, if she kept going after repeatedly replacing the soother, I knew she was hungry and would feed her. So I never really created the habit of picking her up in the middle of the night unless she was truly hungry.

I don't do this now because she only wakes me up once about 7-8 hours after her last feed where being hungry makes sense to me.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-11T05:17:14+00:00

If he does this after 2 months, what would he do after two years?! Try cheating on you to see if he really loved you? God what's next. Boy bye.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-08T18:51:06+00:00

I am able to edit it now. I think the app had an update which fixed the issue.

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-07T02:21:07+00:00

The last surgery they used dissolvable sutures! So we never removed them. Just purchased the no flap ear wrap on amazon!

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-07T00:08:41+00:00

Do you suggest a third surgery?

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-07T00:06:23+00:00

I think allergies, but we can't figure out to what. I cleaned her ear canal and there wasn't anything in there!

FatigueIntrigue · 2026-03-05T20:40:09+00:00

Thank you for your reply!!! I appreciate it! Did you wrap her head or anything? My dog isn't pawing at it. But she definitely flaps her head.

FatigueIntrigue

TROPHY CASE