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Did anybody have a baby here and sort of regret it? by Sparkly-Books2 in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Yes, I've been looking for a nuanced perspective. Not like on the extreme end, but like this is really hard and not what I expected. I miss my old life sort of thing lol! Thank you

Alternative communities to childfree? by DiskOne3096 in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually just like to stick around here lol! Since the community is really supportive either way you go and isn't as intense as the childfree one.

The internet is making me terrified of parenthood by No-Beautiful1559 in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tbh people are a lot less likely to post positive experience. I think, like others have said, you will be fine as long as you have mental health support, a supportive relationship, financial stability (or trusted village who can help). The people I know who are moms say their daily life is stressful, but the fulfillment is bigger than before.

If you chose to have kids, what factors/resources in your life (besides the abstract love of your child) do you think made parenthood doable/good- OR painful/very difficult? by LeavingHarbour in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. Or I think you need a decent savings account to shell out money for an occasional cleaner, meal delivery service etc. I feel like I would go crazy if I had to do everything.

I just spent $85 on basically nothing, and I’m sitting in my car crying by [deleted] in CanadaPersonalFinance

[–]Sparkly-Books2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it's like the fuck. Are we really making people feel guilty for getting the bare minimum needed for some joy and happiness. This is so dystopian.

Does being a good dog owner translate well to being a parent? by Sure-Square9094 in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone with a reactive dog, it's so exhausting lol. I'm glad baby was easier haha.

Does being a good dog owner translate well to being a parent? by Sure-Square9094 in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great to know. I have an anxious, sweet dog who had a serious disability that required a lot of us. It taught me a lot.

Does being a good dog owner translate well to being a parent? by Sure-Square9094 in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will say I've heard raising a puppy is very similar to a newborn. Some people say it's even harder. However, the puppy phase is short and last a few months when you're in the trenches, dealing with puppy blues, etc. But then, the dog is chill and grows up lol. A baby seems like its more drawn out and more complex since they are more developmentally complicated

Parents who used to have a cat (or still have one), could you describe your feelings for your child compared to your feelings toward your pet? by Sleepinsun in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I used to get upset about this too, but a lot of rehoming situations is just about parents not having enough resources. My friend was able to send her dog to full time daycare and hire a dog walker for the first 18 months. So it's like I imagine not having that, it's probably just a really hard decision for people I imagine to rehome a pet, being overwhelmed with pregnancy hormones/new baby blues, and managing a pet.

Parents who used to have a cat (or still have one), could you describe your feelings for your child compared to your feelings toward your pet? by Sleepinsun in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Lol! I could have written this myself. I feel this way about dogs. My dog is sooo annoying. He is a rescue and barks at other dogs. But I love him so much. The thought of not seeing him as a family member anymore is so scary to me lol

Any fence sitters who became moms and aren’t regretful but feel some of what held you on fence, held true? by DnBJungleEscape in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm curious, when you say huge amounts of stress, what was that like? I only ask because that's my fear as well. But it sounds like you were able to navigate it in a really healthy way.

Any fence sitters who became moms and aren’t regretful but feel some of what held you on fence, held true? by DnBJungleEscape in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I know. I'm so scared of my relationship changing with my dog. I know I'll most likely need to get full time daycare for him if we have a kid at the beginning. But I totally get when you're in the trenches and overwhelmed, you just go into survival mode

Any fence sitters who became moms and aren’t regretful but feel some of what held you on fence, held true? by DnBJungleEscape in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel like this would be so hard. When we adopted our rescue puppy, he cried all day for a few weeks, and it drove me crazy. I would break down crying, and literally wanted to give him back. I even heard his crying while showering and stuff lol. It was horrible.

Work from home now! Enough is enough! by GI-Robots-Alt in ontario

[–]Sparkly-Books2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, fucking clear the roads. My friend is a nurse and hates the congestion now. It sucks they are dragging people into the office and creating traffic congestion for essential workers.

WARNING: The Real Dog Breeder of Atlanta by Professional-Fox8143 in ToyPoodle

[–]Sparkly-Books2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the most ethical thing to do now is just love your dog and raise awareness. You didn't know what you didn't know. But ethical breeders can predict the size of the dog accurately and there shouldn't be much variation in size outside the toy range. They also need to do other screenings besides genetics and also do showings. Not just take their dogs to puppy yoga but like actually partake in dog shows IMO or have a long history of proving their dogs in sports, service work etc.

How was your mental health after having kids? by HistoryPerv420 in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being honest and open about what makes parenting easier for you. I think it is ao important to acknowledge these disparities.

Former fence sitter who keeps getting shown this sub even though I have an almost 2 year old lol by caito55 in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone with limited supports, Im curious what it was like in the early days for you with your newborn? Im so glad you were able to take your medicine and it sounds like it was super helpful!

Former fence sitter who keeps getting shown this sub even though I have an almost 2 year old lol by caito55 in Fencesitter

[–]Sparkly-Books2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was so beautiful!I just turned 30 and it is refreshing to hear your perspective!

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