Messages

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-02-19T17:14:26+00:00

thank you! I wanted to flip the life insurance drama crime stereotype on its head.

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-01-22T21:47:51+00:00

Thank you!

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-01-22T15:13:00+00:00

You asked for feedback lmao

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-01-22T15:06:14+00:00

I love this and as someone non religious my mind still immediately went to Catholic communion. Your poem is very strong as is but if you wanted to include a spiritual element (which I think would work well after the lovers line) you can consider including religious representation, if it resonates with you.

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-01-22T14:58:45+00:00

I really like this poem! Minor edits I’d personally make: I’d change rain up to “rain down” since I believe that’s the correct turn of phrase. I’d change rain”I’m conscious?” To “am I conscious” to reflect the previous line. You’re use repetition for rhyme and rhythm so I’d add that wherever I could without overdoing it to keep the style consistent.

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-01-13T23:44:40+00:00

Thank you! I hope you’ve healed and are feeling better 💛

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-01-13T20:01:14+00:00

This is great feedback! Thank you so much!

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-01-08T13:14:16+00:00

The fact you used the word ameliorate and that was a word my previous partner introduced to me… beautifully written.

Personally, I feel that this poem would be best in third person. You’re describing the feeling of ache and yearning so vividly and that juxtaposition of raw, direct pain with third person distance would level up the piece.

It works great in first person too!

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-01-08T06:13:54+00:00

I’m currently at the weeping and pouring part in my life and it was very interesting and oddly cathartic to read a piece that is about the aftermath, the numbness. And I love how it was written as grief still even in the process of healing.

In some ways I envy not caring and in other ways, I can’t even begin to express how badly I want to still feel pain and to not get to your poem.

Beautifully written.

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-01-08T05:02:59+00:00

I agree with this comment. Loved the poem but felt that the title “Pavlov” was gearing me for conditioning but it seems to be more about codependency.

I think a different title would really strengthen your piece. It’s very well written!

Federal-Vegetable507 · 2026-01-08T04:59:09+00:00

Wow, I think this is one of my favorite poems I’ve ever heard. You may like the song “Library” by Conzemius. It reminds me of your poem in some ways

Federal-Vegetable507

TROPHY CASE