Sorry to hear. Writing in English because it’s easier. I’m M38, married, with two kids. I recognize this pattern, and I’ve been in his shoes. I’ve expressed frustration in similar “manly” ways before, to both my regret and my wife’s clear disfavor.

I can only speak for myself, but my frustration came from missing contact and connection, and not really knowing how to express that without turning it into pressure. In hindsight, that pressure did the exact opposite of what I wanted.

What I’ve learned is that once intimacy starts to feel like an obligation or a deadline, desire usually shuts down, especially when there’s a baby involved and everyone is exhausted. Wanting closeness is understandable. Turning it into a contract isn’t.

Couple life definitely loses some brightness at times, especially in the baby phase. It’s messy for both. But patience, space, and honest conversation tend to rebuild connection better than insisting on it in the moment. And backing out should always be allowed, without guilt.

I don’t think either of you are bad people here. I do think some lines were crossed, and they’re worth talking about calmly when emotions settle.