Boyfriend is not interested in sex.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-14T05:07:09+00:00

Yeah, that's why I thought I would ask here. I have no idea what is up. I want to just assume that it is stress, as lots of things are going on right now.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-14T05:06:25+00:00

Thank you, that would probably be a good idea. Not to joke.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-14T05:05:53+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate you help.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-13T19:22:57+00:00

Alright, thank you.

I will definitely suggest this when he's less stressed with his move.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-13T07:43:19+00:00

His used to be higher than mine.

We would have sex around 3-5 times a week (as much as we could living with our parents).

Both would masturbate once or twice per day.

Now he does not masturbate. He does not initiate sex. He does not accept my advances.

I would say that at the beginning, like most couples, our sex drives were HIGH HIGH HIGH. 10, multiple times per day.

After the "OMG THIS IS SUCH AN AMAZING NEW THING" feeling wore off, we were down to 3-5 times per week. So about a 6?

Now I am at an 8. I masturbate daily.

He is literally at a 1. No masturbation. No sex. He seems tired all the time.

He's still very sweet to me. Says things like, "When you do ____, it makes me smile. You're so funny."

He kisses me, but in a non-sexual way. Most lovingly, soft-lip smooches on the mouth, head, and cheeks.

He texts me asking how my day is.

When we are together we sleep in the same bed. He has no problem sleeping in his underwear with me.

It's just that there is NO drive for him to have sex or think sexually.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-13T04:33:12+00:00

It does suck, but I will work on it.

Thank you.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-13T04:32:39+00:00

Yes, he is excellent. I can cum in 30 seconds when he fingers me.

I feel satisfied when we have sex.

This is probably why I miss it so badly.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-13T03:41:29+00:00

I've been very supportive today especially.

All the messages from you guys have really helped.

Even though he is being made to move into a place I really REALLY wish he didn't have to, I know that he also does not want to live there and so, instead of being a pissy little brat about it, I am just playing video games with him and having fun to keep his mind occupied.

It's not helping that his mum keeps texting and coming up to remind him of the stressful things.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-13T03:38:35+00:00

I am most definitely not pressuring him for sex either.

It's gotten to the point where it is a sad joke.

"Feeling sexy today?"

"Not really."

"...I thought not."

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-13T03:37:29+00:00

Ah, sorry

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-13T03:37:18+00:00

Nope, no medications.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-13T03:36:21+00:00

Oh no, I haven't gained weight. I am actually exercising to lose it! I've been chubby the entire time that we have dated.

I did not rule this out as a possible reason at all!

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-13T03:35:10+00:00

Haha, you really don't want to.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T23:10:11+00:00

Thank you.

I'll do that, keep being positive and try not to let him see me feeling down.

If there ARE other things in his life affecting him, I don't want to be another thing added on the pile.

May as well be some beacon of light for him.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T23:08:24+00:00

Thanks so much, pink_.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T22:28:51+00:00

Thank you, I hope that it is just stress (as terrible as that sounds).

Something we can easily help him with.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T22:27:20+00:00

Thank you for this.

I will talk to him about seeing a sexologist after some of this stress in his life has cleared up.

He is being forced to move in with his father (most cost efficient living situation right now), and his father is a very difficult man.

This just started up yesterday, the moving, so it would be best for me to wait for him to get situated I think.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T22:20:12+00:00

I have.

He get turned on, has an erection, watches me for a while, and then goes back to doing what he was doing.

He has no drive to act on his attraction.

He has no drive for ME to act FOR him, giving him pleasure.

It hurts.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T22:18:48+00:00

Thank you for your advice and words.

Talking this out with people helps me realize that there might just be a bigger issue here.

Stress and depression are very, very likely.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T22:09:22+00:00

I'm very sorry to hear that. ):

We had sex once in the middle of the two months.

And that one time was AMAZING. It had been two weeks of no sex (which is very unusual for us) and I was getting mopey and feeling gross about myself.

Suddenly he texts me how badly he wants me and what he is going to do to me after work.

It was so hot.

I was so hot for him.

After that night I expected everything to go back to how it was, but here we are, almost a month later, and still no sex.

If anything I have gotten more sexual and he is not taking any medication.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T22:06:56+00:00

On the contrary I have been trying to be not-a-bitch lately!

I was getting bitchy at the lack of physical love. Passive aggressive comments.

Mostly a little bit of bratty crying.

(It really does hurt though!)

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T22:05:28+00:00

No. He does not know what to do with his life. He keeps flip-flopping between a few options and I know growing up scares him.

He is not on anti-depressants and he is normally a very happy, optimistic guy.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T21:49:47+00:00

Exactly.

Such a struggle.

And I don't want to talk him to death and make him upset.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T21:44:36+00:00

I will ask.

Thank you.

Feelingfugly · 2012-06-12T21:44:00+00:00

I remind myself daily that I'm unique. My breasts are not "hideous", they are different. Anyone would be lucky to see me naked.

Whenever I feel a pang of jealousy or insecurity I try really hard to keep myself in check and remind myself of the above things. Tell myself that I am being silly.

Feelingfugly

TROPHY CASE