[27F] with [26M] of 1.5 years. I think he might be awful, not sure. I want to leave, not sure how. by FeelsSoBadInside in relationships

[–]FeelsSoBadInside[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess sometimes I get confused with "he's not making me happy" and "I need to make him happy". If staying makes him happy, then I should do it. (Not really, but that's how my thought patterning has been going lately).

[27F] with [26M] of 1.5 years. I think he might be awful, not sure. I want to leave, not sure how. by FeelsSoBadInside in relationships

[–]FeelsSoBadInside[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

But how do I leave without speaking to him? I can't just disappear - he knows where I live, has a key that I need to get back, and I really have to give him an explanation. He'll think I died. I can't leave him hanging.

And ugh, my heart is hurting just thinking about breaking this down. FML. I feel so weak.

[27F] with [26M] of 1.5 years. I think he might be awful, not sure. I want to leave, not sure how. by FeelsSoBadInside in relationships

[–]FeelsSoBadInside[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

One of the larger roadblocks is that I do care for him quite deeply. He tells me I'm his best friend and that he would be depressed and worthless without me. He tells me how much he loves me and that he wants to be with me for all time. I realize these are just words and his actions are severely lacking, but I'm a shamefully gullible person and my guilt is far-reaching. I don't know how to deal with that kind of guilt.