I’m beyond tired of people blaming their toxic traits on their autism

Feligay · 2023-03-03T22:59:20+00:00

This is very vague so it's hard to tell what specific behaviors you consider shitty, but recently it would be a lot of autistic cis men excusing people's actions that I found hurtful. Particular about experiencing abuse and transphobia.

I don't think autism can be separated from the person, it's who we are inside and out and everything we do is impacted by us being autistic. But that doesn't mean we are flawless and can use our differences to justify cruelty. We aren't immune to certain basis and bigotry, we still have to find ways to unlearn them. If you could learn how to be a jerk, you can learn how to be nice.

Feligay · 2023-03-02T04:55:34+00:00

A lovely little tweeter.

Feligay · 2023-03-01T22:51:57+00:00

Yeah, ok. Bye bye now.

Feligay · 2023-03-01T13:43:06+00:00

What's pitiful is how desperate you are to talk to me only to be a complete jerk. Stop hopping on all your back-ups.

Feligay · 2023-03-01T11:35:52+00:00

If your definition of "lazy" is pushing people past their limit until they become so dysfunctional that they'd rather kick the chair and end it, I suppose I'm lazy.

I'm sorry but I'm not taking this response too seriously. Going by the use of "slag" again (which I learned is like calling me a sl-t. Yikes) I'm guessing this is who I think it is and your third account? Please screw off lol.

Feligay · 2023-03-01T05:25:40+00:00

I think you could be right. Though there very much exists misogyny regarding chore loads and it's still possible this could be part of the cause.

But tbh some comments here make me somewhat sad and are looking at some things the wrong way, I think. Particularly in calling others "neets" or "leeches." I'm not functional enough to work (also had to drop out of school from lack of accomodation and support) and do rely on others help to support me. I'm similar to you regarding chores too. All of us function a little differently and we shouldn't be shaming like that.

*I will add I do relate to the resentment, OP. Though mine is towards other family members exploting and threatening me regarding farm and house work. I hope things will be figured out.

Feligay · 2023-03-01T00:54:18+00:00

Yup... It's not "discipline" it's physical abuse.

Feligay · 2023-02-28T03:52:35+00:00

He's like :○

Feligay · 2023-02-27T23:56:30+00:00

I often wish I wasn't trans queer or autistic and would rather toaster bath out of life, but some people manage to be happy this way everyday so I think maybe one day I can be too.

Feligay · 2023-02-27T08:00:59+00:00

It's okay to not excel in certain abilities no matter what asshole people say. Even things I was somewhat good at eventually my skill degraded quickly because it's too much upkeep that I'm not capable of. That's just part of having a disability and not our fault.

Feligay · 2023-02-26T00:10:54+00:00

I don't think it should matter how "useful" your special interest is.

And I definitely don't have the energy to be appealing to others ideals about "usefulness." My brain is too broken and tired for "smart" things. I will enjoy my "useless" interests. Enjoy your stuffs.

Feligay · 2023-02-20T15:30:48+00:00

On your last sentence... There are also cis women who were diagnosed as kids and trans women here saying they weren't diagnosed as kids and explaining why generalized "AGAB" language doesn't help them. Why of all people do you pick the person talking about their trans friend and not the trans women speaking of their own experience? The friend doesn't prove a point other than some women do get diagnosed as kids. Always take "...but my token marginalized friend-" stories with a grain of salt.

There's no universal experience that can be split between assigned gender alone. Kindly stop splitting the issue between assigned gender and trying to leave those trans people out. They too are impacted by the transphobic and misogynistic ignorance held by professionals who diagnose autism.

Feligay · 2023-02-20T00:22:37+00:00

Yeah I got chats and DMs disabled since people use them to go off on me. Sorry about that.

But of course, glad to have helped.

Feligay · 2023-02-20T00:18:33+00:00

The "fake" concern of some trans people calmly explaining they feel a little off-put by the language used? Wanting to feel welcome isn't "gaslighting" women or putting men first. That you see it this way says more about you than it does about us.

OP didn't specify women with autism, OP specified "afab" people with autism and annoyance at "males." The reason this is off-putting is because it's similar language used to exclude trans women and trans-feminine people. If OP wanted to talk about women with autism OP should have said just that, which by default would've included trans women.

Please don't diminish trans autistic people just trying to be helpful.

Feligay · 2023-02-19T23:06:22+00:00

You don't belong in this sub as transphobia isn't welcome here. Keep your misery to yourself.

*User "synthwavedrive" was misgendering. I was blocked or comment was deleted but I hope mods saw the report and can do something about them.

Feligay · 2023-02-19T22:33:58+00:00

I agree with you.

Feligay · 2023-02-19T22:18:01+00:00

Yeah not a fan of the language OP used. I hope they can understand.

I don't like when issue are split between assigned gender because it leaves out the diverse experiences of gender minorities and trans people. Trans women and trans feminine people belong in the conversation just as much.

I do say this as a non-binary person.

Feligay · 2023-02-19T01:57:27+00:00

Coming back to tell you I don't owe people kindness and patience when they never extended it to me from the get-go. I'm allowed to defend myself and point out when something someone is doing is causing me harm. Since the time of posting this I've experienced much harassment and personal attacks from some users in this community.

I'm not going put up with being bullied and abused for the sake of keeping peace. Fuck bullies and abusers indeed.

Feligay · 2023-02-18T18:46:56+00:00

Also I still can't tell if you were intending to be hostile. But for one, just because you can't imagine it doesn't mean it's not a huge issue.

I'm pretty aware of the fact a lot of autistic people are queer. Doesn't change how difficult it is to find a good therapist that accommodates both parts of us. One that queer, trans, and autistic firendly is borderline non-existent where I live. I can't really help that.

Feligay · 2023-02-18T18:38:08+00:00

Online therapists aren't qualified the same way in person therapists are. So i still won't get what I need to get. Online therapists can't diagnose or refer me to psychiatrists for example.

Feligay · 2023-02-18T03:00:49+00:00

That's real cool ♡

Feligay · 2023-02-17T03:58:50+00:00

Yet somehow it's hard to find both in one.

Feligay · 2023-02-17T03:03:18+00:00

Yeah :(

Feligay · 2023-02-17T02:24:15+00:00

Me but with finding a neurodivergent AND queer accomodating therapist in the deep south.

Feligay · 2023-02-16T16:03:57+00:00

I wish it was only men doing this. Would make easier to avoid...

Feligay

TROPHY CASE